Agreed
 

I dunno about this guy, mizzz..... I can understand how some of things he is doing may sounds confusing---but I think its pretty mean of him to tell you "fix it" when you tell him that you are having some money that needs to go to your aunt.

When I started dating my husband, he worked at a coffee shop and I was a book shelver at the public library. We always split our dates 50/50. I never wanted to be dependent on a man for money---I am not old fashioned.

I think it's great for a woman to cover her own ground. Too much of the time women develop a "take care of me" attitude---and they fail to grow into moneymakers themselves because they always find a man.

Halfies is the way to go. When he wants to go out to eat, always give the option of a home cooked meal. Find out what he likes to eat at home, and make it for him. It's a good thing to have him get used to your cooking anyway----they love good cooked food!

As for the comments like "fix it", that's kind of strange. As for your financial situation, just be open about it. Yeah, he doesn't need to know, but on sopme level he should know. And if it scares him away---good riddance!

Are you guys official yet? If not, tell him you have offers to go on other dates, and you want to know what you guys are doing. This will scare him and make him realize how amazing you are! Then, when you finally get him to tell you where you truly are in the relationship.

hope this helps girlie! :hug:

Well, you're the one who actually knows the guy, so since you like him and presumably want to keep seeing him, I'm going to operate on the assumption that he's a great guy in many other ways. :D I know there are plenty of things I could post about my boyfriend that would make him sound like a total jerk if you didn't have the whole picture.

Anyway, here's my two cents. You have no obligation to talk to him about your finances. You're right, it is none of his business if you don't want it to be. But you can, and you should, talk to him about how his comments are making you feel. If you like this guy, you need to be able to talk to him about these things. Tell him (calmly) what you've told us, here. You don't have to say why your finances or tight, or tell him that you've borrowed money from someone. Just tell him that when he makes comments about your finances, you find it hurtful, and it makes you feel defensive, etc. etc. And see how he responds.

Well. I agree with the others who say he should pay. If he asks you to dinner , he pays, simple as that. If you want to ask him over for dinner you buy the food and prepare it, simple as that.

^ I very much like missita's post for your situation.

Now, of course since you ask our opinion and experience, I believe the first month of dating should be care-free and wonderful. If financial disagreements come up this early, it doesn't bode well for the future. And yes, finances can ruin relationships. If he's worth it, talk to him. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him, then he'll continue making the comments he does and it will snowball.
My experience with my husband when we first started seeing each other is that he paid for everything unless I said I would cover something or go 50/50. Finances were not on our mind in the slightest. He worked full time (26 yrs old) and I was a student with a part-time job (23 yrs old). It's not about me being old fashioned or him being chivalrous. It was common sense. He wanted to do special things with me, he paid. He could afford it.

Good Luck hun.

Aww you're so sweet, thank you :hug:

We talked a bit today I brought up date night once a week, and the me paying one week, he can pay the other...he got offended by that and told me his jokes about me paying are just jokes and if he has a problem with paying he wouldn't offer...and I told him he was being a little touchy and he said he just wanted to make it clear to me. That's why he tells me things about his friend so I don't think anything off it, everything is out on the table. So then I was like okay enough about that what about my idea and he said he didn't like pre planned stuff and I got pissed (light temper when it's PMS time...) then in the end we solved the problem by me saying LESS eating out because I don't want to gain weight and when the weather is nicer when we both have time MORE going out at least once a week doing something fun other then play fighting, watching tv, and other stuff. haha

Who knows I talk to another woman at work about this and she said a lot of what you guys said about major red flag there...she told me to be careful especially after what happened with the last relationship I was in she really doesn't want to see me fall into the same pattern of some control freak again.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom though it's really made me think about stuff and as one Lady said the first month should be worry free I think the issue lies mostly on me with the too much worrying especially when it comes to this money issue and expecting him to pay. But thats something I need to work on since it is really my issue on it's own.

:hug::hug:

Well, he sounds like a d-bag, and I am not sorry to say that. What kind of guy doesn't pay for your meal at least the first month or two you're seeing him? And he has no right to inquire about your financial situation, as my mom always says, "don't pay no bills, don't got no say" (and that applies to everyone in her house lol) so just do you.