[misstraveller]

I used to feel the exact same way! My fiance' eats CRAP, I mean total CRAP. Luckily I am the grocery shopper and cook, so he eats what I fix. And if I want to buy whole wheat noodles, so help me God, i am going to. And if I want to make lasagna with zucchini strips instead of noodles, again, I'm GONNA. And if he doesn't like it, OH WELL. I tell him that he can fix his own dinner separately if he has the nerve to complain. He usually doesn't.

The thing that bothers me, is that I buy all the groceries for the most part, and he eats out every day for lunch (makes more money than me) and I have to take my lunch. He does buy most times when we go out, which is several times a week. I dunno, I think we're still trying to figure this food thing out. It's hard, with two different people, two different tastes. Eventually I'll win him over to the dark side and he will realize that meat lovers pizza will probably never be a whole meal for me again....

[bliss3244]

hes trying to temp u dont let him win, i find it funny cause people who love us have this fear of us being different due to weight loss and even though we will be healthy they are scared of change... i have the same problem with my husband buying chip and dip and cookies.. its really hard when u have that stuff right in front of u... just keep your goals in mind and even if you slip up the next day pick yourself up and start again..

[mmel3283]

Originally Posted by QuilterInVA

You can't police the food other people eat. Assign him a spot in the freezer and a cupboard for his things. We are faced with food temptations every day of our lives and we need to learn to deal with them.

While this is true...when we're trying to lose weight...we all have certain trigger foods. Our loved ones should be supportive and not buy them until we are at a point where we can have control. She shouldn't have to fight all of these temptations in her own household. That's where you should be able to have the most control. It's not like she's going to a party and being faced with all sorts of tempting foods, it's her own home...and as her husband...he needs to find a way to work with her so they can both be happy. Should he give them all up...no. I dont think thats fair. But there are compromises.

To the OP...I think you need to talk to him. He proabably doesn't realize it is an issue. I know in my household...right now...cheesecake and any sort of cake is a No. We just don't have it. I make sure I get skinny cow ice creams, WW desserts, etc to have on hand...so that my DH and Mom can have ice cream and cookies without me being tempted. There has to be a happy medium. Maybe find some substitutes

[mmel3283]

I'm really surprised after reading some of the responses...maybe my husband and I just have a different relationship. We support eachother 100% in everything and do whatever we can do to help the other person to succeed. If Ice Cream was a huge problem for me this early on in my journey...we wouldn't have it. He wants me to be able to do this...and if giving up having something in the house until I start to build up my willpower and strength to make better decisions...he does it. Tonight...He wanted Burger King...he didn't want to get it because he didn't want to eat something like that infront of me. Fast Food is no longer an issue for me. I haven't eaten it in 6 months...and I don't want to ever again. But it was nice that he thought that way...and I would do the same for him. I think that's how it should be. But maybe that's just us.

[tabitl]

Originally Posted by mmel3283

I'm really surprised after reading some of the responses...maybe my husband and I just have a different relationship. We support eachother 100% in everything and do whatever we can do to help the other person to succeed. If Ice Cream was a huge problem for me this early on in my journey...we wouldn't have it. He wants me to be able to do this...and if giving up having something in the house until I start to build up my willpower and strength to make better decisions...he does it. Tonight...He wanted Burger King...he didn't want to get it because he didn't want to eat something like that infront of me. Fast Food is no longer an issue for me. I haven't eaten it in 6 months...and I don't want to ever again. But it was nice that he thought that way...and I would do the same for him. I think that's how it should be. But maybe that's just us.

No, I feel completely the same way. And mine eats complete crap as well, truly, though he's more of a fast food / on the go / by the seat of his pants eater. Plus we have different palates - he appreciates sodium while I'm all for sugar, so we don't necessarily face that issue. However, I do think it boils down to the fact that it's much harder for you NOT to eat object x than it should be for him to simply do without or find an alternative snack until you are more stable with your situation.

[BattleshipBettie]

Originally Posted by mmel3283

I'm really surprised after reading some of the responses...maybe my husband and I just have a different relationship. We support each other 100% in everything and do whatever we can do to help the other person to succeed. If Ice Cream was a huge problem for me this early on in my journey...we wouldn't have it. He wants me to be able to do this...and if giving up having something in the house until I start to build up my willpower and strength to make better decisions...he does it. Tonight...He wanted Burger King...he didn't want to get it because he didn't want to eat something like that in front of me. Fast Food is no longer an issue for me. I haven't eaten it in 6 months...and I don't want to ever again. But it was nice that he thought that way...and I would do the same for him. I think that's how it should be. But maybe that's just us.

We are the same. I can't imagine living with a husband who behaves in a the ways that I have read of husband's acting in multiple threads on this board that other's turn around and defend in their replies. It really shocks me sometimes how the repliers will condemn the OPs for being upset when their spouses or SO are being completely insensitive or borderline cruel. When I show him the threads even my husband can't believe some of the things that people say. I guess he and I are just different than most people and must have a vastly different dynamic to our relationship than the majority.

[Heavenseventeen]

Originally Posted by QuilterInVA

You can't police the food other people eat. Assign him a spot in the freezer and a cupboard for his things. We are faced with food temptations every day of our lives and we need to learn to deal with them.

I agree.

[indiblue]

Please don't assume those of us who don't tell our SO's what to eat or buy have unsupportive or "cruel" SOs. We have no idea if the OP specifically asked her husband not to buy ice cream and he did anyway. Perhaps they hadn't discussed it yet and he didn't realize the impact it would have on her.

Supporting each other doesn't necessarily mean that one person gets to make all the decisions in the household about food or whatever. It means you discuss with your SO what you would like to succeed and what his/her needs are and finding common ground. For some people, their SOs are fine with letting them decide 100% what is in the house and what isn't, for others, it's not okay, it's give-and-take, and both of you have to deal with it. That could mean that the SO gets to keep a few trigger items in the house and not others, but the dieter has have the willpower to deal with those trigger items. It's about compromise.

Like Quilter, I would never tell my BF not to bring certain food into the house or that he can't have ice cream for lunch. I might ask if it's ok for us to stop buying a trigger food, but if he really wanted to buy it, we would discuss options. It's not all about what I need and want or about what he needs/wants... it's a compromise.

[junebug41]

I think the OP has received a wide range of opinions and suggestions so I am going to go ahead and close the thread.