Do you ever look at yourself and just think, how in the world did I get here? Whether you lost or have gained a lot. I was thinking that the other day. i realized that i was over 200 and it hasn't bothered me so much. How could I get to the point where 200 pounds doesn't bother me so much? I mean I care plenty now, but even still 170, 180, 190 should have bothered me more!
I was there - it just kind of happened - but I had a lot going on at the same time, so I think I was just paying attention to everything else, and not myself, and when I realized how much I weighed it wasn't a big deal in comparison to everything else that had happened....
When I gained my weight I wasn't surprised. I had a very stressful relationship where my boyfriend at the time treated me like ****, caused me anxiety and fought with me every third day of my four days on at work. Food was my escape goat; it made me feel better especially since he always made me feel like ****. When we broke up and I moved back home Working out and feeling better about myself was my top priority I needed to do it. I had too much anger and fuel in me that I think starting my journey has helped me in a lot of ways, and I surprised I made it this far no. As much as I’m currently happy with my weight and how I look at 159 I still want to go down to 140 tho and be slim where I don’t have the love handles.
I know how you feel. I have felt like my body doesn't belong to me. I cannot believe I still weigh so much. I do not FEEL like an obese person. I never have, and I think that is part of the problem. I don't see myself as an obese person, I view myself as a young healthy person. It is like I did not notice how out of shape I am, or how big I actually am. It is just shocking when you finally realize it. It is like I have been living in a bubble my whole life, and I finally see what everyone else sees.
I did not understand how I got to this point, but looking back I know exactly how I put on the weight - lots of food and little exercise. I am now OWNING my past behavior, and realizing that I can make a change.
I remember thinking that other girls were bigger then me, but now I think I was much bigger then them. I remember rationalizing the food by telling myself, well I am not 300lbs so I must be okay.
Last edited by Asherdoodles87; 02-08-2011 at 10:19 AM.
Oh yes, count me in, I ate to help emotions in a bad abusive marriage, gained 70 pounds in a short time, I would have been horrified if someone one day told me I would weigh as much as I did. My highest weight was even 20 pounds more than I am now but I lost some a few years ago. I was 206 when I was 9 months pregnant and now more than that without being, I am still horrified.
Oh doodle, I swear those were almost exact words. I guess id just been sedated and I lost touch with the reality of my health. Then one day I just snapped out of it and was not only horrified but confused.
Put me in the bad relationship catagory with constant fighting catagory. I followed the break up of that relationship with a "I don't care about anything other than work attitude" for quite some time.
What is past, is past...move forward and learn from it.
Take an already chubbu girl with unhealthy food habits add in a bad relationship where i was either being ignored completely or told how much he loved and needed me (whenever he realized i was close to leaving) and for the sheer amusement throw in changing from active jobs to sedentary jobs and watch the amazing balloning pixi lol
i think i put on close to 100 pounds in a year or so
I wonder this all the time. I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office today and said 159 lbs...meaning I've regained 15 pounds in 2 months. And I have to look at that and ask: HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET BACK TO THIS POINT SO QUICKLY????
I have no answer...just laziness and not paying attention-and feeling stressed and bored. And lonely. Food makes me feel better for 10 seconds. Then I feel like crap for having eaten it . But I am DETERMINED to get back down to 145-and then to reach final goal. I will be a size 6! But I've decided to not weigh in. I'm just going to set fitness goals and watch what I eat..
I feel like this too. I wish I had paid more attention, that my husband would have said something, or that my mind would have clicked somewhere and alerted me to the fact that I was no longer a size 9 but nearly doubly that. Wish I could have caught this runaway train 20 or 30 pounds in.
hmmm...i think i find myself asking myself "why" rather than "how". i'm very self aware, and my weight is something i've ALWAYS been aware of.
i've been heavy my whole life. chubby kid, overweight teen, obese adult. lost weight in my early twenties, then gained it back. i've always been very aware of my weight, my clothes becoming tighter, the numbers on the scale creeping up. but i never stopped it. i got here because i never did anything about how i was eating. i knew my portions were always too big, many of the things i ate were unhealthy, my binging never helped, of course, and i never exercised. i never made time to take care of myself because i made a million excuses not to. so i know how. but why? i'm sure i'll have that all figured out- that's what therapy is for, right?
so the new questions is- when am i getting there already??? (points to goal weight)
Instead of it being a bad relationship, I attribute most of my weight gain to a good relationship... I was always stressed out and worried about my body, and then I found someone who loved me regardless of how I looked. I think I took that as a license to eat, because that's what I did! We went out to eat alllll the time, and I wanted to hang out with him instead of going to work out. We each gained 50-60 pounds in 2 years and all of a sudden it was like - what happened?! Funny thing is, we've realized that we can have just as much fun together cooking something healthy at home, or going on long walks with the dog together... I wish I could have figured that out 2 years ago!!
how did I get here?
I remember rationalizing the food by telling myself, well I am not 300lbs so I must be okay.
