A good rule of thumb is don't make any important decisions at night. It's easy to get carried away and overemotional thinking in terms of black and white when you're lonely at night. While it sounds like you've more or less made up your mind, I think writing a pros and cons list might be a good idea.
That said, you're young and if he really is the world to you it might be worth throwing caution to the wind!
Whatever you do, don't move in back home. Follow your adventure and you're heart, and whatever you do, do not let fear dictate this. You could get an excellent education at UCSD, and have your own life and your own adventure and Ray. Live love
Im a big fan of education. You cant be certain about your job, you cant be certain about you and ray, but you can be fairly certain that education is a sound investment. So if I were you, I would go to Santa Cruz and do school there and see how things go with him. Or since he's gone now, you could try seeing how being apart goes. It might be more managable than you think. Or it might be awful and therefore be something to take into consideration
Sorry I haven't responded....he's gone. Its been 2 days. I feel numb. I have decided I don't want to be in sd anymore I'm just not sure if I should move to santa cruz or back home to LA or maybe move home and then santa cruz later. I just feel like a little empty hole in my heart knowing I won't get to see him. I am going there for valentines day to visit. Maybe ill find out if I like it and can picture living there. its weird someday I feel independent and inspired to move back to la and try to find the perfect job for me. But other days I want to just move and be with him and let my heart breathe. I want to marry this guy someday, I just don't know what path is best for me to make our future the best chance. I feel like something is missing without him. Advice? Words of encouragement? Anything?
go visit and see how it is. And if he is the guy you want to marry then follow your heart.
I live in PB! i'm a native san diegan, and i went to school at ucsd. so i might be biased when i say give sd a chance, lol.
I'd say don't make any rash decisions. let some time go by, keep working your job, keep focusing on you, your health, the gym etc, and take time to go visit Ray. Time will tell if your relationship can survive the long distance (and if he's the one).
Hmm, I'm another one for staying in San Diego for the moment.
I think at this age, moving back home and giving up your independence is a pretty difficult and emotional thing to do. I moved out of my parents' house and was financially independent for a year before moving back in with them at 21, and it was much harder than I expected it to be. I don't regret it because it allowed me to develop a better relationship with my family and to finish school quickly without incurring horrible amounts of debt, but it was really, really hard.
And in general, I'm kind of against moving somewhere solely to be in a relationship. I mean, of course I'd consider moving if someone I loved was offered a promotion in another city, but only if there was definitively something that I wanted to do in that city myself. I say wait a little while, go visit and poke around Santa Cruz, and see what the city could offer you (other than being with Ray). It would probably end up being hard on your relationship if you moved there only to be with him without really considering if you liked the city or what you would do there. And as an army brat, having watched my parents' relationship survive and even strengthen in the face of frequent and sometimes lengthy separations, I actually think it's a good idea to do long distance for a little while in every relationship. It is REALLY hard, but that's what's so great about it. Dating LD brings to light all the problems that already exist in the relationship, which is wonderful because it helps you to figure out if these problems are deal-breakers or if they are ultimately trivial. I really think that dating LD is a good test of a relationship. If a relationship can't last a few months of living in separate cities, it probably wasn't the right relationship in the first place. Take a month or two or three to figure out what is best for you, not just for your relationship. If you decide you want to move, it would be really great to start job-hunting and figuring out school while you're still in San Diego. He'll still be there at the end!
LA will always be there if things dont work out. it sounds like you dont have anything holding you to SD except a job that may or may not be secure, you won't have ray and you can't afford school. (i grew up in SD, im half amazed even with two jobs you can afford a place in PB lol)
In santa cruz you will have ray, and you think you can pull off starting school. additionally, clear channel is a national company, even if you can't transfer (and i'd def ask about the poss if i were you) as long as you leave the company in good standing you can always keep applying there as jobs open up, which means in theory you could end up with the job, the love, and the schooling
I say go for it!
I agree with this seriously if the only thing keeping you there is an unstable job...I'd say move on. I'd rather go back to school and be with a man I love so I can get further in life than to stick with a job (that could turn into a career) but in the end only have myself. While you are with him in Santa Cruz you can still concentrait on yourself.
