Sounds like to me they were saying, "You looked nice before, but now you look great!" Which is something that I like to hear! Personally, I know that, while not completely hideous, I didn't look amazing 60 pounds ago, and I appreciate people complimenting the effort I put into improving myself. I agree with other people in this thread -- people are being nice and giving an honest complement. Smile and say thanks and move on.

I actually made a comment to someone on this sight and told them they were beautiful before they lost the weight cause they really were and they really are now. I did not mean it in any bad way but this posting may make me rethink saying that to anyone as I would not want to make anyone feel bad. I think so many of us are already so very hard on ourselves that the last thing we need is a comment meant to be positive affect a person negatively.

I also struggle sometimes with compliments - when people say, "Wow, you're looking great!" I can't help but wonder what they thought of me before. It's in no way their fault - it's all in my head. But I'm getting much better with that.

I worked hard to be where I am with my weight, and I'll work hard to get to where I want to be. I'll take the compliments, because I DO think I look better now (not that I ever thought I was really not pretty), and obviously people will notice that, too.

I had someone ask me how much I've lost and jokingly asked if it was 180 lbs. I chuckled and said no, not quite that much. For a second I was like, jeez, did I look THAT big before? But once again, it's all in my head because all the guy was saying was that I look much smaller now. Well, that makes sense, as I've lost about 28% of my starting body weight.

My advice is the take the comments the way you want them. Likely they are really positive things. If people actually want you to feel bad about your weight, in my experience there won't be much room for interpretation.

Distraught Dieter, I love this! I really would like to think that very few people out there are mean-spirited enough to say something like that with the actual intention of being mean. I will certainly remember your words the next time I feel a bit insulted by someone's well-meaning compliment!

Personally, I have become quite the glutton for compliments, so I'll take them in any shape or form! Hey, it's better than being a glutton for food, right? ;)

What kind of bothers me is when people tell me I am losing my butt and curves.
Because I sort of do miss my big booty :(

I don't mind the You look great comments. I'm more bothered by the ...How much weight have you lost? and the... Have you lost weight? Especially when it comes from my boss who I'm not at all close to. It depends on the way it is said too and their tone of voice.

Like some other posters have mentioned, it seems like they were just trying to give you a compliment. It also sounds like they carefully thought about how to phrase it, to avoid that potential trap of implying that you were unattractive before.

I remember being shocked when first reading several threads on 3 fat chicks, in which people complained bitterly about recieving genuine compliments on their weight loss, from others.

Personally, I am a slathering beast for compliments *grin*.

It doesn't bother me I personally knew I looked like crap before plus the way my mental state was after losing weight it's just come to see things in a much lighter and more positive aspect. What pisses me off is when people tell me I wasn't fat before but look great now annoys me because I know I was!

i dunno, i don't think these people mean anything by that.

i actually know quite a few people who annoy the **** out of me by their replies to my compliments, i'll be like "your hair looks really nice today" and they'll add "you mean today ALSO", or i'll say "you're looking really good today!" and they'll reply "what, cuz i usually don't?" and it's like come on! i'm giving you a compliment, for god's sake... do you have to nitpick at it?

see, THAT annoys me. maybe people who had the "not that you didn't before" part to their compliments have a lot of annoying friends like mine! :p

I actually really love compliments haha, whether they can be taken the wrong way or not. I'm a little vain like that. If people don't compliment, I still know I look good, but when they do I'm like heck yes, I'm fab. :p

A friend did say to me once, "You're really pretty. You've always been really pretty, and most of us never really noticed you were that overweight until you lost so much. You look great." I really think that is what most people are trying to say. Sometimes the people who are around us all the time don't quite see us as we really are, just like we don't always see ourselves as we really are. And then you lose weight and you look even more amazing than you did before and they're probably a little shocked! So when they compliment you, seriously try not to take it the wrong way. It's a touchy subject, but I'm sure they're trying their best, and they just want to let you know that you look good. :)

That's the thing with weight loss though. People don't really know how to acknowledge a weight loss without feeling as though they're insulting the other person at the same time. I guess take it as if you dyed your hair a completely different color, say from brown to blonde. Would you be offended if someone said that you looked great with blonde hair? It's kind of the same when someone compliments your weight loss, saying that you look good. It can definitely be taken the wrong way but they honestly don't mean you looked bad before. They're honestly just trying to be nice and make you feel good about having such an accomplishment.

However, that being said.... the wrong approach is disbelief or jealously where it shouldn't be. I have a friend who recently lost, oh, about 70 lbs. She was diagnosed with cluster headaches, and the only thing that really helped was to exercise daily, about 75 minutes a day. And it didn't help that the medication she was on killed her appetite, so she basically had to work out every day and if she didn't, she'd have massive headaches. So she worked out, barely ate anything because her head was so messed up she lost the ability to tell when she was hungry. So she started losing weight. Anyways, she said it really frustrated her when people expressed jealousy over this. She even had a friend try to fake having cluster headaches to get on the same medication so she could have no appetite and lose weight. And she also had a friend actually grab her pants and check the tag to see if she was indeed telling the truth that she wore a size 10 (or whatever size she was at the time). here she is, with this incurable disorder, and people were jealous that she lost a bunch of weight because of it. Needless to say, it pissed her off.

Luckily for her, it turns out the diagnosis was wrong, but also luckily for her, she gained a love of working out. She's currently training for her first marathon. She still has problems with her head, but honestly, I'd rather not go what she went through to lose weight. She said it was ****.

To me, what is even worse than that is when your friends, family, coworkers, bosses KNOW you're on a diet, and if you don't eat something healthy, they point it out.

I HATE THAT! It's like yes I know I'm on a diet and changing my life style around but that doesn't mean once in a while I can have a blueberry cheese cake, a big mac or something along those lines..:mad:

I agree completely--I take the good from it, because I know he/she is trying to be nice. :)

Actually I did that once not about the woman's weight but about the way she looked. At our xmas party she looked awsome and the dress suited her well and I had made a comment saying you look soo pretty omg, not that you don't every day...but she's really insecure and with a woman like that she would have turned around and said what and I don't every day. So I have been the one to be one of those people, but only because people take offense to it, if you don't bring in the they looked fine before.