So I haven't told my best friend that I'm trying to lose weight and be healthier. I also live in a different town currently, so I rarely see her. Out of nowhere, she tells me how she wants to start working out and shes now eating healthy. My friend is already thin, shes what I would call skinny fat. Is it wrong for me to be...I guess jealous of her? I mean this was supposed to be MY thing. I guess deep down I don't really want her to look better than me. I'm not sure. But I definitely don't find this helping my motivation. When in reality, it should push me to work harder.
I definitely know how you feel. I started my weight loss journey (for real) this past July and had lost about 15 lbs by the end of August. Out of nowhere, a friend of mine decided to start doing a very similar program and is losing weight almost too rapidly. I know I should be focusing on myself and my accomplishments, but it's hard not to be jealous and to feel like my accomplishments aren't as important anymore. I think it's a pretty normal and instinctual reaction for us to have. Idk exactly how to combat it...I guess the biggest thing is to practice focusing on yourself and remind yourself of everything YOU'VE accomplished. Nobody can diminish what you've done and will do. But anyway, just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling this way. I think most of us have had those thoughts about someone in our lives.
I have this issue, too. PCOS or something (thanks Docs.) stops me from losing weight at a good pace, and my friend who just joined Sparkpeople and has yet to cut out sugar has weight just flying off of her.
"Butthurt" hardly describes my ire. But I am very proud of her.
I understand this too well. On a similar note, but on the flip side of the coin, have any of you experienced an outright display of jealousy or cold shoulder from your heavier friends? I know when I first lost a lot the "fat girl clique" was somehow broken and whenever we'd go out it'd be like "Oh, shhe can't do thattt." Maybe I was subconciously gloaty? Oh well. Yeah, I think when things change it makes people uncomfortable.
As for the loss thing, can totally relate. haha. My friend did something similar where she lost a little weight and I was like "hey! that's mine." lol. Not aloud but you know...burried.
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I know how you feel, my blond friend losses weight so easily and she makes it a point in her life to mention it. It annoys the **** out of me especially when she wants me to go shopping with her. She can fit into a size 6 pair of jeans while I'm still wearing size 18 for 4 years now. I just feel so ugly around her and I often don't want to shop with her and end up making excuses. Its pathetic but sometimes I'd like to go home without feeling like ****.
Aww. I'm sorry Amplify. I've never liked shopping with my friends. Mostly because they take forever trying things on :P I think It's easier for me when I think "Shes just gonna put her weight back on." Most people who do it for odd reasons, don't usually keep it off.
As for the opposite jealousy, I've never experienced it, but I have heard a lot about other people. I hope that those people eventually get over it :-/ Jealousy that ruins friendships is no good.
I definitely feel the same way, that's why I haven't told my best friend that I'm trying to lose weight. When I go to the gym, I actually make up lies and tell her I'm doing stuff with the fam, or I have a lot of school work... that's probably really bad, but I just don't know. I don't want to be "coaching" someone else, which I know will happen if I tell a lot of people about my success. They'll all come to me and ask me how I did it, and I think if they really wanted to lose weight, they would do something other than just ask for my "secret". I know they won't be committed and that sort of bugs me.
My husband is actually sort of like that too. I mean, he's thin, REALLY thin, but he wanted to gain some more muscle. He's the only one I wouldn't mind going on plan with me. But he's always saying "I don't need to lose weight" and it's like yeah but wouldn't you rather be healthy instead of ordering pizza every night and living off of cereal and root beer? I asked him to come to Zumba last Friday and he just laughed at me telling me, once again, that he does not need to lose weight. I said "It will help tone muscles. You really should look into this." (I was referring to him looking into muscle toning), to which he replied "Oh yeah, because I just randomly look up Zumba." ...yoookay. Well I tried the nice "come on board" approach, and it gets thrown back in my face. I've decided the only way I can ACTUALLY be an inspiration to my friends and family is by first succeeding, and showing them what they can do.
I understand this too well. On a similar note, but on the flip side of the coin, have any of you experienced an outright display of jealousy or cold shoulder from your heavier friends? I know when I first lost a lot the "fat girl clique" was somehow broken and whenever we'd go out it'd be like "Oh, shhe can't do thattt." Maybe I was subconciously gloaty? Oh well. Yeah, I think when things change it makes people uncomfortable.
As for the loss thing, can totally relate. haha. My friend did something similar where she lost a little weight and I was like "hey! that's mine." lol. Not aloud but you know...burried.
I get the snide comments about the "She can't eat that!" Or when I go visit my family or my husband's family, I have to bring my own apples or something because neither one takes into consideration that I've been a vegetarian now for 10+ months.
The last time I was visiting my inlaws, a guest there asked me why I chose not to eat meat anymore. I explained how its a recommended diet for many diabetics because plant-source protein is healthier than animal-source protein because the biproducts of metabolizing animal-protein is harder on your kidneys, for normal people their kidneys can handle it, but for diabetics the kidneys are less healthy. And I explained it was just a diet choice and planning ahead for my future health, not any moral reasons.
My Mother-in-law says "This is why we don't hang around her much....."
I was like "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" (in my head...I pretended I didn't hear it outloud, but their entire family is obese, except for the two of us who are married into it.....)
Everyone has the right to make their own choices for their OWN lives. And there's no need for anyone else to torture you about the choices that you've made.
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Originally Posted by Amplify69er
I know how you feel, my blond friend losses weight so easily and she makes it a point in her life to mention it. It annoys the **** out of me especially when she wants me to go shopping with her. She can fit into a size 6 pair of jeans while I'm still wearing size 18 for 4 years now. I just feel so ugly around her and I often don't want to shop with her and end up making excuses. Its pathetic but sometimes I'd like to go home without feeling like ****.
Just don't go shopping with her. Seriously. When I was 8 months pregnant, I once went shopping with two of my favorite labmates who are Chinese (so yeah, they're both under 115 lbs but BOTH of them think they're "fat" LOL). I never did that again......I was like "I love you guys, I really do...but no! Never again!"
Yeah I didn't tell any of my friends. I just don't want the "you don't need to lose weight" or the "come on its one splurge" or something along those lines. I was actually embarrassed and afraid my friends would criticize me when we went to red robin and I orderd a chicken sandwich and melon instead of fries. I don't think they really noticed thank goodness. I just don't want to explain that I'm losing weight and have to explain to everyone that I'm indeed unhealthy, its not a silly chick vanity thing.
Even if it was a vanity thing, so what? That's what I dislike. Is now that I'm one pound or so away from healthy weight [mind you, my body fat percentage has been healthy since I was at 195], friends are like "why are you still going?". Because I feel like it. lol. Its my body and so long as I'm in a healthy range, its fine. Gah! I get it though but still. I think its funny how those same friends talk smack about [not me, but another teammate] losing weight and being too thin and then talk smack about another teammate who needs to "do something about their eating problem" in reference to her weight. Girls are silly.
Yeah I didn't tell any of my friends. I just don't want the "you don't need to lose weight" or the "come on its one splurge" or something along those lines. I was actually embarrassed and afraid my friends would criticize me when we went to red robin and I orderd a chicken sandwich and melon instead of fries. I don't think they really noticed thank goodness. I just don't want to explain that I'm losing weight and have to explain to everyone that I'm indeed unhealthy, its not a silly chick vanity thing.
Haha, I feel the same way whenever I go to Red Robin. I used to eat tons of those bottomless steak fries, plus onion rings, plus the whole burger with the bun, plus loads of soda pop, but now I just get water, and order a burger with a veggie patty, lettuce instead of a bun, and melon slices instead of fries. Plus extra tomatoes, but I always did that haha. My order takes so much longer than everyone else's. XD
Haha, I feel the same way whenever I go to Red Robin. I used to eat tons of those bottomless steak fries, plus onion rings, plus the whole burger with the bun, plus loads of soda pop, but now I just get water, and order a burger with a veggie patty, lettuce instead of a bun, and melon slices instead of fries. Plus extra tomatoes, but I always did that haha. My order takes so much longer than everyone else's. XD
I feel so pre-madonna ordering all these specific things like wheat bun, green leaf lettuce, no mayo, no fries.
Yup. As as soon as my friend knew i've been trying to lose weight, and have been exercising consistantly, she started too. Although she has much more weight to loose, I still feel like if I dont loose fast enough, or she gets skinny before me (lol) I don't know, but i just feel like she's doing it because i'm doing it and she doesn't wanna be left behind! And what if she gets to goal before me, i'm wondering if it's gonna be the "haha goal accomplished". Or maybe i'm just over exageratting?
Jealousy
