I sometimes find that the extent of my lifestyle change sounds completely nuts from an outside perspective. I think endlessly about calories and stress out whenever I go out to eat with friends and I find myself talking about eating almost constantly.
How do you balance staying true to your self-improvement plan and staying true to who you are as a fun and interesting person? I don't want to be that girl who feels worthless after eating sushi instead of a bowl of vegetables, but I can't seem to help it.
Anyone else feel almost unhealthily obsessed with the weight loss mission?
I think a lot of people - myself included - can relate to that. I think for me it goes back to tying my self-worth into weight, which is something I absolutely had to break free from. It really just happened over time as I slowly began to accept myself no matter what my weight was. Losing all that weight was probably one of the biggest learning experiences of my life and the self worth thing was very much a part of the process.
Also, it's ok to be dedicated and sometimes the line between dedication and obsession is blurred (what is dedication to you would be obsession to someone else- it's all about perspective).
I think that trip into maintenance has this particular road bump for lots of people. It just takes some time and perspective to work through. Eventually you will find balance.
I'm glad you can relate. I'm not sure it's completely a matter of tying self-worth to weight, but at the very least weighing myself and being disappointed can ruin a day from the get-go.
I get like this, too. I think you have to find a plan where you don't have to think about this stuff constantly. For example, on Weight Watchers I was constantly focused on how many points things were worth, but on South Beach I have been much less obsessive about it. I also had to stop weighing daily because when I was doing it weight/dieting was the only thing I ever wanted to talk about. My friends had a sit-down with me to let me know it was getting old (thank goodness!).
Everyone thinks I'm crazy... My calorie consumption and workout schedule honestly controls my life but thats what works for me... and people think I'm a nut for caring but if I dont care I lose my grip and get too comfortable.. I've done too much to let it all go...
I do what works and maybe I traded one form of disordered eating for another but I'm ok with it knowing that I'm a lot more healthy this way
I totally know where you're coming from, and for me it's gotten to the point where I have to avoid having conversations about it with my boyfriend because sometimes we get into arguments where I tell him he doesn't understand that I either have to be this dedicated and controlling of my own eating or face the fact of being overweight. He kind of gets it but sometimes he just doesn't and will be like - "why can't you just drink beer (or wine after wine) on Fridays and Saturdays like "normal" people".
Urgh. I know that I am dedicated to the point of obsession but I'm learning to balance it out by realising how happy being healthy is making me and the results are worth it to me. It's just part of my life now, and if people don't accept it, that's fine - if people think I'm weird, that's also fine. I just know that unless I want to stay this weight (or continue putting weight on) I have to know what I'm eating. Otherwise I gain (as is evidenced by my previous fluctuations).
Location: On Planet Earth...I'm waiting for the Oxygen levels to go up on the other planet's before I move
Posts: 116
S/C/G: 250/125/120
Height: 5'3"
I am in the same boat as everyone here. I tend to think a lot about the foods and calories I am eating so that I can maintain my self control. This often leads to me discussing my calorie intake and my workout schedule with friends and family. I have been making an effort though to avoid these topics but I noticed that my friends tend to be repetitive in talking about whatever they are obsessed about so I figure it's normal.
Also talking about it helps me stay on track which is why I started 3FC I figured maybe I will tell my friends and family less about my diet if I have a forum to discuss it in.
Amen ladies. It's really nice knowing I'm not alone. I really envy people who don't watch what they eat or drink and stay a nice size. Knowing I have to deny myself the pleasures of excess forever to stay the size I want is a huge weight on my shoulders.
Why couldn't I just have been a skinny kid who didn't LOVE food?!
Yep - talk about it here, and just make wise decisions when going out. Don't say it's not on your diet - just say you don't feel like it.
I went out to dinner with a group of girls - the other night they looked at my eating and thought I was a 'fattie' because I was eating more than what they were, however I was choosing carefully what I was putting in my mouth - every mouthful. They didn't realise that I was drinking sparkling water the whole night, not soft drink, not juice, not alcohol. Just water. So I had the piece of Baklava at the end, but I'd not had any other sugar the whole night ( just salad and protein) so I could account for the sweet.
I liked 'knowing what they don't know'
I've been thinking about this, too. First of all, I never used to think about food. Eversince I started counting calories and planning my meals ahead, it's all I can think of. I'll think about how many meals I have left and how many hours should I wait between meals and stupid things like that. To the point wher *I* get tired of it, let alone my friends...
As for going outside, I have done insane things. At first I'd try to make sure we decide on a restaurant that posts nutritional info online (extremely hard and expensive to do in Greece) so I can plan ahead. I've stopped doing that now. I still want to enjoy a good time out with my friends and food that I've enjoyed for years. I got used to eating small meals, so normally I'll eat slowly and not finish my meal.The fact that I can not empty my plate and survive the guilt is a huge success, btw! But then I'm still pretty heavy and I can afford a little cheating now and then (I don't even know what I'm going to do if I ever get closer to my goal.). I'm also trying to convince myself that not being perfect 100% of the time isn't going to kill me, or set me back by all that much. This is where I think that my biggest problem lies.
At this point I'm in a place where I don't think much about what I eat. I watch things that go in my mouth, but I don't obsess. It's just part of my daily planning, which is nice. There are days where it seems like too much work, but I remind myself it take 3 minutes to plan a day's food and it's worth it to not go back to being obese.
One thing about eating out is the social expectation that you'll drink and eat what others are indulging in - it's like a community experience and so adds pressure to conform. I've taken to eating a small portion of something unhealthy or maybe I'll get a salad but split a desert.
I don't talk about my new eating habits - I just say I feel like this or don't feel like that. It works pretty well if I don't draw attention to my food (that ruins the whole community experience vibe, I guess).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowstripe
He kind of gets it but sometimes he just doesn't and will be like - "why can't you just drink beer (or wine after wine) on Fridays and Saturdays like "normal" people".
I've been noticing this more and more. People who haven't fought their way back from being heavy don't understand it. They don't get how eating "normally" can send us rocketing into the abnormal weight category and view all the healthy food as "obsessive" when it may not be at all. It might just be necessary for some of us.
*raises hand* Me! And I feel like it won't ever go away. When I start to feel comforatable is when I over eat or eat junk and the pounds start to creep on. It's been a struggle for me ever since I made the choice to be healthy. Eating healthy after all these years still doesn't come naturally for me.
Amen ladies. It's really nice knowing I'm not alone. I really envy people who don't watch what they eat or drink and stay a nice size. Knowing I have to deny myself the pleasures of excess forever to stay the size I want is a huge weight on my shoulders.
Why couldn't I just have been a skinny kid who didn't LOVE food?!
This. It is nice to know a lot of us feel the same way!
Vigilance vs. Insanity
But then I'm still pretty heavy and I can afford a little cheating now and then (I don't even know what I'm going to do if I ever get closer to my goal.). I'm also trying to convince myself that not being perfect 100% of the time isn't going to kill me, or set me back by all that much. This is where I think that my biggest problem lies.
