Online Dating Nerves?
 

Hi All,

I have a date planned for Friday - with a guy I met online (plentyoffish.com). We've been having great convos over the phone and he's seen a few photos - but i'm still paranoid that he will see me and not be attracted to me because of my weight. Paranoid= ultra paranoid.

Anybody have advice/experience with the online dating world?

-Sarah

Me!

In my experience, I've always found my weight to be more of an issue than the guys I go out with. Just relax and have a good time :)

just relax and be yourself. If he doesn't like you because of how you look then he's a jerk and you don't need to give your attention to him.

:)

Just do it!!!!!!!!!!!

Dating is a journey, it is an adventure.

I was on pof for one month and on the five date I've met my current b/f.

Relax, have fun, be yourself, be interested in him. Believe in yourself.

And don't let your negative thoughts about your weight (if you have any) get in the way.

Good luck!!!!!!!! (and report back on the date)

Just have fun! If he doesn't see you for the gorgeous girl that you are then he's not worth it anyways!

You are CUTE! DOn't be nervous! Give yourself the confidence you deserve! A friend of mine met his current finacee' on P.O.F. Interesting story, this guy is like 5'10'', 165 lbs. So he's pretty lean. the girl only originally sent him head shots, no body shots, and when he met her, she was a little on the heavy side. But he liked her for her. Now they are engaged! So...it has a happy story, turns out she was afraid of rejection. We all get scared. I was scared when I met my current love. He still makes me nervous! lol Good luck, can't wait to hear about it!

I have to chime in on this thread...

I have actually always made fun of one of my friends that met her soon-to-be husband on a dating site. I thought it was so awkward. One day in November of last year some random guy added me as a friend on Myspace. We began talking every once in a while through private messages. Then in February of this year he gave me his number and told me to text him so that we could keep in touch that way. That day he asked me out on a date for the next friday. I was a ball of nerves all week long. I actually considered cancelling on him the day of because I was convinced that I wouldn't be good enough (lets be honest, this boy was hotttt). I ended up getting enough nerve to go through with it and tomrrow is our 6 month anniversary. I knew the night of our first date that he was made for me. All the times growing up when people would say "when you meet the right person, you will just know" never made any sense until that night. I have never been happier in my entire life and am now a complete supporter of online dating.

You can miss out on so much if you let your insecurites bring you down and You can never have success without risk. Go on this date and bring confidence with you! There is nothing more sexy than a confident woman. Even if the first time doesn't go as well as you hope, don't give up. It will happen for you one day, I am living proof!

First of all, you're very pretty. Just had to say that.

Second of all...over the past year and a half or so, I've been on several dates with guys I've met online. Each and every time, I've been petrified. And each and every time, I was pleasantly surprised. I tend to get anxious over things and overanalyze and play the What-If game, so I would work myself into a ball of nerves over nothing, really. All three of the guys I went out with were interested...the cutest I actually met at my high weight!

Just have fun and go with it...I have a feeling you'll be pleasantly surprised and it will go really smoothly. You would have some sort of idea by now if he was the kind of jerk who would actually reject someone based on their weight or judge you for it. Good luck!

I find a lot of times we're far more fixated on our size than anyone else is. I met my husband through a mutual friend, but online. I went to school with the friend, and in a really odd twist, my husband and I ended up talking online... I sent my senior pics, which come on... Are not only mostly head shots, but touched up. I still remember him telling me they hadn't done me justice <3

You're just a person. A pretty, obviously interesting and engaging person if he likes you. Nerves are totally normal, but don't let it consume you.

I was on POF for a while in 2008, with not much luck. In Novdember of that year I saw a pic in the "new members" section which made me sit up. I nearly didn't message him because I thought he was far too goodlooking for me.

Last July I married him!

You are gorgeous - if it's meant to be, it will happen.

I met plenty of guys who were good looking on the surface but were boring, or unintelligent, or creepy, or sometimes perfectly nice, but there was just no spark.

Que sera sera. Good luck!!

In January I met this guy online. He was sweet. Too good to be true. After five days of chatting on AIM, he asked if he could get my number and call me. We set up a time so it wouldn't be awkward. That night we talked for four hours. By the end of the call he asked me out. Then we talked the next three nights before we had our first date on February 2nd. I was SO nervous. He turned out to be terrific. Tomorrow will be 7 months together for us.

Moral of the story: you are gonna be nervous, regardless of how you look or how much you weigh. Go into it with confidence, and if he's a douche (in any way), he wasn't worth it. You deserve a nice person and hold out until you find one!

I hope you will let us know how it goes!! Work it, girl! Oh, and be safe.

I met my The love of my life on POF lol..Although when my parents ask how we met I still say through friends, I cant bring myself to say the internet. We have been together for almost 2 years. And I was just as nervous as you and almost didnt go! But im glad i did. Be your self and have fun!

And if you want to calm you nerves a bit. Call up a girlfriend and tell her to call you 30 to 45 min into the date. if its awful pick up and say you have to leave. But if it is going well.... hit the ignore button. :)

well I have never had a good experience meeting guys online... Just thought I'd chime in because it is possible for it to be completely horrible... and believe me... all of mine were completely horrible... I haven't done the whole online dating thing in a very long time... Probably not since I weighed over 200 pounds or so

2phat - I'm perfectly fine saying we met online...but my boyfriend is not. He tells everyone we met at Best Buy (random...weird...but I told him that since it bothered him, I'd go along with whatever he came up with). Unfortunately before the date I had already told my family...so now they know, but go along with it because I don't want him to be uncomfortable...

like the others have said just go and have fun :).. i met my partner off the internet (faceparty) and we just celebrated our 6th anniversary together! want to wish u all the best :) x

ts been 10 months today since my boyfriend and I offically became a couple, and we met on POF. Just have fun, and dont worry if it doesnt work out - at the least you get a good meal out with some one!

WOW - thanks everybody for the advice. I love reading all of your success stories. The big day is tomorrow - and I'm just going to swallow my nerves and go with the flow.
Still paranoid - but like you said - I'd probably be paranoid no matter how much I weigh.
I will update after the date and let you all know how it went. Jerk or one of the good guys?!

Good luck!! YOu'll do great! And hey, if nothing else, you get a free dinner out of it :) Muahahhaha

It's so funny this topic was brought up because I'm going through the same thing. I've online dated off and on for about the past year. I've gone on probably 7 dates or so. I was a lot confident before, but that has steadily declined. Nonetheless, I was seeing one guy from OkCupid for about 9 months. I really started to fall for him, but he didn't want to get into anything serious since he's joining the Navy in 2 months. It has been really hard on me, but I've finally started to get back on the horse. I have been exchanging emails with one guy through Craigslist. (Don't knock it till you've tried it) I've mentioned that I'm a "curvier" female and exchanged pics, and he's really cool. We've been trying to meet up for the past week, but our schedules have been conflicting. I decided to stop emailing him because I'm too scared. I feel like he's not going to like what he sees and hightail it. My self-esteem has taken a serious beating lately, and it doesn't help that I now have braces at age 23. Anyways, back to the point, I definitely think it's worth the try. You're beautiful and I'm sure that bubbly personality you seem to have will shine right through. If it doesn't work out then at least you tried, right? You'll never have to worry about "what if". I think I'm going to practice what I preach and give this guy a try. Hearing what everyone else had to say has really given me the extra boost I needed. Thanks guys!

naijachica09 - if I can go through with it - YOU can too! I'm tired of letting my weight hold me back from opportunities in life! I'm just going to go - meet the guy and try to be myself - have fun. Of course I'm terrified... but I'm just going to jump in and see what happens. Le Sigh! OMG - it's tonight! What am I going to wear?! lol.

I met my fiance off of POF :) We were both first timers giving it a whirl...we were each of our first online dates. It wasn't creepy at all, it was just a normal date.

I was around my highest at that point and I was also paranoid about it. But, I put full body pictures where you could very clearly see my build on my profile. As embarrassed as I was by those full body pictures, I'd rather have somebody know what they were getting rather than be disappointed when they saw me in person.

And on our first date, my guy said I was way prettier in person, hehe.

I just went on my first online date last Wednesday and I wanted to throw up when I got into the parking lot...but once we started talking I was fine! We ended up staying there for about 3 hours and we've been keeping in touch ever since.

I hope your date goes well, you are a beautiful girl and he's going to be so happy to see you! But I'm not going to lie...I still felt like the girl that was 90lbs heavier as I was parking my car and walking in. Your mind will play some funny tricks on you; but just go with the flow...and no expectations on the first date = no dissappointments!

How did it go?

although I've never done the romantic thing online, I've met lots of friends through the internet (some of them through a game I played for two years, and others through random forums where I've developed real friends and efriends alike).


Obviously stay in a public place for practical reasons.

BUT remember not to commit, give yourself some credit, a LOT of good guys are out there who would be interested in you if given the chance! Don't get attached to this one asap :P I don't care how good looking he is or how amazing he is among other things ^_^

You're worth the wait, date around and use this opportunity to make some guy friends to do some fun stuff with occasionally.

Its more important to grow up a little and find your self-esteem than to find a man asap.

I wanna know how the date went :) Any news?

Ditto, waiting to hear some details! Hope you had a good time!
I've been toying with the idea of making a POF profile, but am not sure if it's the right route for me. All the "reviews" of online dating so far sound good, but I'm still conflicted.

I met my husband on Lavalife many years ago :) We now have a 12 week old son, a doggie, a home, and are happier than ever :) I was SO nervous before our first date! LOL!

Have fun!!!!

Hahahaha
 

Ok this is going to sound harsh, but I'm allowed to say it because I met my man on pof as well.

Online daters expect the people they meet to be screwed up in some way, or else they wouldn't be dating online. Everyone believes themselves to be the exception. SO when the thing that's "wrong" is a 34 inch waist instead of a 28 inch waist, it's usually a relief. Because at least you didn't turn out to be crazy or have a tail.

My guy loves me cuz I'm not insane, and he's never dated anyone with hips before. He better enjoy them before they're gone...

Also, I'm surprised and then not surprised how many of us on a diet forum also use online dating. HAHAHA!! Finally I've found my people.

i'm curious how it ended. Hope you had a good time :)

I met my current sweetheart (and I'd say the love of my life) 4 years ago online. I dated a guy from India in college, and though he turned out to be a completele a**, he introduced me indirectly to a friend of his back home, online. We became fast friends (via phone, webcam, etc) and then best friends... and finally about 2 years ago we decided to just be together. A year ago, I bit the bullet and went to India to see him and I'm leaving again in 3 weeks to spend another month with him. :) :cloud9: We're both hoping his job transfers him here within the next year or two so we can take it to perhaps the next level (living together).

If this 7000 mile online relationship can work, and as wonderfully as it is.... then ANY online relationship can work! :)

Hey girlie,

I really would love to know how it ended. I just posted something in the General Chatter forum that really relates to your story. (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/gene...nfessions.html)

I was a chicken, and couldn't go through with the meet. I really, really hope it went well for you.

We are all DYING to hear about your date! Spill the beans please!

*BUMP*
Still waiting to see how it went!!

Bumpity bump - spill!!!!

After a month of seriously mourning my most recent relationship, I too made a profile on POF and OKCupid. And I've been talking to one guy on each site (legit talking, ignoring all that nonsense like "hey I'd like to tap that") and today I agreed to meet each of them. So I'm meeting one Saturday and one Sunday. They both seem super nice and are into some of the same things I am, so hoping for the best. I'm trying to be optimistic, and hope I have a good time both days, cause what's not to love about me, right? But I've never casually gone out with more than one guy at a time, so if it comes down to it, I won't know what to do if I like them both and they both like me! But I'll burn that bridge if I come to it. Wish me luck!

Spill it!! we all wanna know what happened!!

Tomorrow I am going out for the first time with a guy that I met on POF a couple weeks ago, I'm soo nervous!!

brooksrm: The same thing happened to me during my online dating craze. I was talking to 4 guys at one time and went out with each of them and gradually ended up with none due to various factors such as douchebagness, things fizzling out, etc. However, I'm wishing you best of luck. I'm hoping it works out and eventually one stands out over the other? Either way let us know how it goes.

Jessica88: Good luck tot you too! Keep us posted.

hahaahahah@ douchebagness!!!

Good luck brooks and Jessica! make sure to keep us updated!

naija-- That's exactly why I am talking to more than one instead of just pinning it all on the first guy I talk to. So far they seem nice (I'm still talking to them so duh) and I'm being optimistic but at the same time, I'm waiting til I meet them to make my opinion of them, and to see what their opinion is of me. I am kind of nervous though.

Ok did no one think this guy was a little bit creepy??????

I'm sorry the whole soulmate thing is creepy... I've met a lot of D-bag guys online... I've heard them say a lot of stuff....they say all kinds of stuff...

Also yes you stalked his facebook... Guys know that us females are stalkers...he knows you're going to check on him... I just find it a bit creepy...but thats my two cents.