About a year ago December (December 10th to be exact) I decided to lose 90 lbs. In July I hit 60 lbs lost. I have been maintaining that for about 5 months, going up and down a few pounds but not really making much further progress.
Anyways, nearly three months ago I began dating my now boyfriend. We've already gotten very close and I recently moved in with him, sounds crazy, but we're just really perfect for eachother.
Anyways, when if ever, should I tell him about my drastic weight loss? On the one hand, it is a huge thing in my life. It would give him a lot of incite into why I weigh myself evry day, why I have certain hang ups, and why I need to buckle down and lose the rest of the weight. Finally and most importantly, honestly, I don't want to keep anything from him. I am also proud of what I've accomplished. It was a ton of hard work. He knows other very intimate things- knows my jeans size, my weight, has seen the stretch marks in private areas (*wink*)
On the other hand, I don't want him to look at me like I'm a freak whenever we eat or are intimate. I don't want him to stress about whether I'll gain the weight back or why I let myself get that heavy...I also don't want him to encourage me to lose weight. I'm pretty private about my weight loss efforts and I don't want to have to worry about his thoughts on the subject. Know what I mean?
Have you ladies ever had to have this conversation with a new boyfriend, or should I just keep it quiet? He knows I've lost weight because plenty of people at work commented on my weight at a holiday party in front of him, so he has a decent idea, but does not know an actual figure...
On the other hand, I don't want him to look at me like I'm a freak whenever we eat or are intimate. I don't want him to stress about whether I'll gain the weight backor why I let myself get that heavy...I also don't want him to encourage me to lose weight. I'm pretty private about my weight loss efforts and I don't want to have to worry about his thoughts on the subject. Know what I mean?
It sounds to me like you would really like to talk to him about it, so I would.
But, all those things you have concerns about? You can *tell* him those. He'll probably be relieved to have some direction about what you want from him about this topic. Guys often do well with directions
There was never any question when I got close to my boyfriend that I would tell him. It's nothing bad, its just part of my life. I lost 50 pounds before meeting him. I lost about 50 since then, so he obviously noticed. Just like being really overweight was part of my life before, losing weight was/is a big part of my life now. Besides, It's not like I was never going to show him any pictures or anything. I've done things I enjoy and like sharing photos. Also, he's been to my parents house a bunch of times, and there's tons of pictures of big ol' me there.
I guess if you don't want to just come out an say it (which is probably very hard for a lot of people, just not me personally) you can bring it up casually by showing him pictures of your family or friends with you in them. If he points it out himself, just kind of mention it off hand that you lost a lot of weight. You don't have to be ashamed and hide ot, or gung ho about getting it out there. It's part of your life and it's gonna come up, like other stuff does.
I haven't lost alot yet and this is the first time in my life I allowed myself to get this big but I have gained 20 -25 lbs before. As I am a smalled framed girl it shows right off the bat especially on my narrow face. When I first got married and moved here from India leaving my family behind I got really depressed although I have lived in between both countries all my life. I guess I just missed my family, I gained about 25 lbs and it did upset my hubby but he didn't say anything. I lost it and he was soooo impressed. Honestly I think you should tell him, my husband keeps saying how he is amazed at my dedication and resolve. He sees these qualities as a plus not "oh she has a tendency to gain" (that would be my MIL). Anyhow I think he would appreciate it. But you have to feel comfortable about it too Hope that helped
It sounds to me like you would really like to talk to him about, so I would.
But, all those things you have concerns about? You can *tell* him those. He'll probably be relieved to have some direction about what you want from him about this topic. Guys often do well with directions
I agree completely. Just be honest and upfront with him about it, and I'm sure he'll be supportive.
I STARTED my WL journey while already with my boyfriend, so he's been here with me every step of the way, and honestly, it's really helped having someone I can run to in the morning and yell "I LOST ANOTHER POUND!!!" hehe .
i lost 45 before i met my now boyfriend and was concerned about telling him about it because he only dates "skinny girls." i'm actually the largest girl he's ever dated...coming in at a whopping 145 lbs haha. i was really concerned to tell him until i realized he'd find out eventually anyway if things worked out. i know there'd be now way to keep him from seeing the pictures in my parents house from graduation and such so i just told him. it all went really well and he actually gained a new respect for me because he knows how hard it is to lose that kind of weight. my telling him about my weight loss made him realize how determined i am and that when i set a goal, i achieve it, even if it takes time or i hit some obstacles along the way. i was really impressed with how he took it. now, 4 and a half months later, he still brags about it to his family and friends that his gf is so strong willed she was able to lose 50 lbs.
I STARTED my WL journey while already with my boyfriend, so he's been here with me every step of the way, and honestly, it's really helped having someone I can run to in the morning and yell "I LOST ANOTHER POUND!!!" hehe .
Totally! I love his joy at seeing my joy
P.S. I was the chubbiest girl my hubby had ever dated at 125! and he married me
When do you tell...
Hope that helped
