[funnycanadiangirl]

Hello my lovelies.

I am freaking out. And I have been for a few weeks now. Normally I am an intensely private person, but I need to get this irrational meltdown out there, and I figured that you guys might be the most empathetic audience. Plus, I generally just think you're all stellar.

I've been living away from home, from my friends and family, for school. It's been over 8 months since I've seen anyone from home, and in that time, a lot has changed with me! I've lost quite a bit of weight, and while I don't think I look that different, my clothes all fit like Bongo the Clown's pants. (I finally had to buy a new coat because the winter season is ending here and I couldn't wear my old coat home, because it fit me like a housecoat...) I've also grown my hair out. Suffice to say I look pretty different. And I've not mentioned it to anyone...

Additionally, I've been gone for ages! In that time, I've done a lot of really cool stuff, but things have changed for everyone at home as well. I had plans to go back to a certain boy, but things changed there - it's fine, it worked out well, we're still extremely close etc. But these are the people that I'm closest to, and there's been a lot of unavoidable distance (especially because of the ridiculous amount of physical, geographical distance!)

Getting to the point... I'm going home 7 weeks from today. And I feel like I crazy person! I'm really anxious about it! I'm proud of how much work I put into myself during this time and of all the things I've accomplished here, but I don't know how people are going to react to me being home. (I mean they're already excited, but they haven't seen me yet!). And the first person I'll see when I get back? That ex-boy of mine! So, understandably I am hoping to break some hearts there.... lol. Anyways, intellectually, I know I'm being totally irrational. I guess I'm just nervous. The changes I've made aren't a big deal here - I see the same people all the time - but I don't want it to be some big shocking, conversation eclipsing thing at home.

I'm not even sure I'm making sense right now. I know it's going to amazing going home, and that I shouldn't be worried... like I said, I just needed to vocalize the craziness (before it overtook my brain!)

[LiL PiXiE]

Congrats on all your changes---you know the ex-boy is going to regret letting you go!!! Anyway--don't freak out, just be happy and excited because everyone is going to be so proud of you...just enjoy the moment/spotlight!! Also...as much as you don't want it to be some big shocking, conversation eclipsing thing at home...it will be!!!

[funnycanadiangirl]

haha... actually I was the bad guy in that ending. So as far as he's concerned, I'm just hoping to look good enough that he stills feels a little sad about it. lol. That's mean...

Thanks Pixie. I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping I handle it gracefully. It has the potential to be SO awkward!

[JulieJ08]

Originally Posted by funnycanadiangirl

And the first person I'll see when I get back? That ex-boy of mine! So, understandably I am hoping to break some hearts there.... lol.

I love it, keep that attitude

I get self-conscious too. Sometimes I just remind myself that I can feel all sorts of things, and they're just feelings. Just let them come and go.

If people talk about you too much, maybe say something light-hearted like, "Thanks so much for the compliments, but I'm gonna get conceited if we don't change the topic!" Depending on how the talk is going, sometimes you can bore them into changing the subject by sticking to how you eat healthy and exercise. I didn't get the impression that you were expecting back-handed comments or sabotage. I hope that's not the case!

[VernDern]

Aww good luck!!! I lived in MD for 4 years and 1 of the few times I when I went home I had lost 30 pounds. It wasnt didnt seem like a big change to me (I look at myself everyday) but my family seemed very proud!

So be proud that youve lost weight and soak in all the compliments because you def deserve it!

Just dont let it get you off track! After the same visit when I went home, I also went back to MD and just fell off te wagon. Here I am almost 35 pounds heavier than my high weight then! Oops.

=) Have fun and break some hearts!

[Feral]

Same boat here... I moved to ATLanta and lost a bunch of weight... mainly because I didn't snack and I was really active with work and going out dancing all of the time, etc. I swear I didn't sleep for about 2 years.

The first thing my mom said to me when I moved back was "I like your hair but I hate the color." I had literally driven 7.5 hours through the night and got in about 5:30 in the morning. I hadn't seen her in almost a year and that's what she had to say to me. My point being...

Don't care what anyone else says. Sometimes people say things because they don't know how to react, they're jealous... or like my mom, she just says crappy things at crappy times and apologizes for it later.

Go be you... realize you're a butterfly that's left the cocoon and be proud of what you're turned into. It won't be half as awkward if you don't allow it to be.

[angelanicole23]

be prepared girl..be prepared...i went home almost a year after losing a LOT of weight and i felt bombarded..for the first day it was great to get a lot of attention but after that I was drove insane..ESPECIALLY by a few older relatives..my grandmother and aunt kept saying I "lost too much..look too skinny" God forbid if someone in the family was a healthy size..when I was too big they'd comment on needing to lose a few lbs. I explained repeatedly that I eat A LOT and I work out....I'm as healthy as can be! I agree with Julie's suggestion of asking people to change the subject.

You will break some hearts..you're gorgeous and you deserve to feel great! Are you moving back home for good? If so hopefully that boy will be beggin for you back! Be proud girl!