[CurvaceousCutie]

So there is a guy friend that i like. (for a long time) We have been friends for over 10 yrs. In the past 5 yrs we had became "romantic friends". but it was never like discussed it just kinda happened and then we would never talk about it. this past may he dated a friend of mine and it didn't work out, but near the end he would complain that he loved being single and i would tell him to break up. he would tell me "the only reason y u want me to break up is so u can ask me out" and he would say that every time he asked my opinion, but in a jking way. then like a wk later after they did, she came to me and told me she couldn't fig out y he went out with her, because all he would do is talk about me and how i would do this for him and do that and she couldn't compete with that. After that went down him and i we were "romantic" again. lol but this time it was different if felt diff, and i cant explain it. but when we were being flirtatious he keep asking me if i had liked him but he would be kinda like laughing. of course i would say no several times because i wasn't going to say ya n have him freak out or tell me he don't see me like that. cuz he has said that before but yrs prior ago. and that morning he left w/o saying bye and he like disappeared for awhile didn't answer my calls and barely looked at me cuz we have same group of friends.

then eventually he started answering my calls and acted like nothing happened. so this past wknd another boy asked me out. and we went out. but i had posted it on face book and that started war on there and another friend of ours said that "bob" wasn't cute (the guy i like) cuz my post read "a cute boy asked me out". and i said that it wasn't him and that hes too much of a wuss to ask me out. then "bob" lol was like is he blind must be. and i sent him a txt saying that atleast he wasn't a wuss. because i give him crap about last yr at my bffs wedding he told my parents that i looked really pretty and he wanted to ask me to dance but he thought i would laugh in his face and was afraid to ask me. when i bring it up to him he totally denies he ever said that but he becomes beet red. lol so hence y i call him a wuss. after i sent that txt he posted "ur right i am" but i think he was supp to txt that back or something cuz it didn't make sense in the "feud". next thing u know he asks who is he where did i meet him u know 20 ?s lol and i was like y do u care. and he says he doesn't but its like y ask. u know? lol so i right be4 i went on the date he told me he was playing me for a fool and that he was standing me up-and he didn't lol
this wknd was my bffs birthday and we went out to dinner and he keep asking me what we did on the date and how was it and i would ignore him. cuz it was annoying. then we went to the gay bar and our other mutual friend was all over me (straight) we think hes a man whore. lol NOTHING happened with him. lol so Sunday bob and i went to lunch and the 1st thing out of his moth was what did u and Steve (man whore) do after i left. i was like nothing, didn't u realized i left be4 u duh so nothing and he noticed that he was all over me as well and brought that up. he just doesn't want me to be happy.


my ?s are u guys think he likes me (around me hes great when everyone's is around not soo good but EVERYONE know the situation and cant fig out to tell me and i even asked his bff and he cant fig it out.

do u think i should tell him that i lied and tell him how i feel even tho i could possibly be rejected?

he tells me i always read into things and analyzes them, but he makes me curious and wonder if he does or am i just crazy lol

thank you guys for reading this whoever makes its lol i really do appreciate it.

[Jelbb]

Hmmmmm.
Wow, whatamess.

Precursor: All of this is just my opinion. Take it or leave it!


You know.... I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think "Bob" is a bit of a toolbag. He clearly doesn't know how good he could have it with you, and if he does like you, he's going about it in a completely moronic way.

It sounds like he likes you, but he's not willing to put in the full amount of effort that a relationship entails (...ugh, men.), but he REALLY cherishes the idea that you're into him. So when you get other male attention, he panics that you might be more into someone else than him. We want what we can't have is an adage for a reason. It's got some fabulous truth behind it.

My hands-down opinion is... that if a guy isn't putting in the effort, then he's not worth it. And that's a hard thing to hear, especially if you find yourself invested in someone. I once asked a panel of pseudo-strangers what to do about my ex-boyfriend's lack of affection, attention and cuddliness, and I got the same answer across the board. "Honey, you can do better." and at the time, I was livid. Who are they to tell me to dump my boyfriend? ....but you know what? Eventually, when it was right for me, I did dump him. And I'm so much happier for it... and I know now that I deserve a whole lot better than that.
My point is that... it's easy for me to sit back objectively and say you need to stop giving this guy a chance, because he's not worth it.... but YOU have to be ready to realize that for yourself. One day you're gonna find a guy who's gonna bend over BACKWARDS to make sure that you're happy.... and I hope to god that you're not invested with a wuss like "Bob" when that happens.

[HaleyisLove]

I had the same situation... he would make comments to make me think he liked me and blah blah blah but in the end he never made a move...and now he is engaged to a beautiful girl and I love them both... however he did play with my head A LOT and when I would talk about another guy he would act like he cared... You never know until you try and guys realize more things than you know..he might know you like him and he just does stuff to kinda play with your head...or maybe he does like you...never know until you try... I wrote my guy a letter and left it in his house... we talked about it briefly and never talked about it again and our friendship was exactly the same...good luck

[Mickeypnd]

Hi Alicia, you seem to be living in a soap. lol.

I hate to say this but I would have to agree with Jelbb on this one. I too have been in the same boat as you, and most girls with guys who only seem interested because they think you aren't into them. Do you understand? I think he is only acting the way he is because you've gone on dates with other guys and he probably feel that you should only like him. And when you didn;t tell him you liked him or whatever, his ego was hurt.

Now I might be wrong, but this has happened to me too many times. This boy I was dating only showed interest in me and what I was doing when we weren't together and I was dating someone else. BUt when I did show him interest, and was with him he didn't feel the same way about me.

If I were you I would tell him how you feel, the worst he could do is reject you, but you beautiful and from the way it sounds you don't have a hard time finding guys.

You never know in life, but I think if you don't say anything you'll be plagued with What if's. I hope this has helped you in some way!

[soon to be slim]

I think you should tell him how you feel and get it over with because your not happy this way good luck

[Fat Pants]

Yup I agree with Jelbb and Mickeypnd - I was friends with several guys like this in college, the type that are "romantic" with you unless something better comes along or if you played hard to get. They're a lot of talk but never any action.

You have given him plenty of opportunities to ask you out, or date you, and yet he skirts around it. I'd say tell him how you feel and let him know where you stand on the issue, and go from there. If he wants to date you, great, if not, then you can move on. I agree, obviously you don't have problems finding guys to date, so it's not like this is the only guy out there!

[kaybelle9]

you seem to keep going down the same road with this guy. And I think you already know where this road is going to end.

[Feral]

I have to back everyone else here up. I really think woman should read the book "He's Just Not That Into You" at least one time.

If he's into you he's into you, there's no need for stupid games or all the other bulls***.

You deserve better and he needs to grow up...and what you do or do not do with any other man - gay, straight, bi - is NONE of his business, especially if he doesn't have the nerve to ask you out or tell you how he feels.

[daisy5819]

Honestly you deserve better. He sounds like a d-bag and like he's playing with your head. You can tell him you like him and see what happens.

[beerab]

As hard as it is I'd just flat out say "I have feelings for you and I want to know if you feel the same way I do, and if the answer is yes how about we take things from there?"

If he does any hmmm, uhhh, sounds and looks away, then he's not interested and there is your answer. Or if he says well I'm not sure, yada yada.

I had a friend like this- I totally thought he was into me- but then when I finally told him how I felt he told me he could never see me as his gf. I was crushed but ended the friendship because the mixed signals were totally unfair to me!

Good luck- who knows- maybe he will confess he has feelings for you and it'll be wonderful- don't put it off- cuz then one day you might both regret it.

[kiakaha]

I agree wholeheartedly with what Jelbb said; I think he loves the thought of you being into him (and despite you telling him you're not I'm sure he's aware) even though he doesn't necessarily want to be with you. So he gets jealous of you being with other people, because it shows you might not be into him anymore.

Anyway, the game playing on his part is immature and annoying, if I was you I would say "Look Bob, honestly, I do have feelings for you, and I have for a long time, but I'm not going to sit around while you play games with me and wait and see if you feel the same." He can then either buck up and stop being a jerk, or admit that actually he does have feelings for you, and you can go from there.