Alright, here's the deal. I'm generally pretty uncomfortable around guys when I first meet them, and tend to suddenly become hyperaware of all of my insecurities (does this happen to anyone else?). Anyway, I've been living in a very small apartment TECHNICALLY with a "roommate," although she only stays over about 1 night a week. The rest of the time she's at her boyfriend's house, so despite having lived here for around 3 months, even she still feels kind of like a stranger to me. I went out last night and when I came home, not only was all of her stuff moved into the apartment...all of her boyfriend's stuff was here too! Evidently they've both decided to move in, which unfortunately she has the power to do without consulting me since I'm the tennant and she's the owner.
I cannot share a 3-room apartment with some guy I don't know. Some very cute guy, at that. All of the sudden now I'm super self-conscious about everything...especially, for some reason, all the "diet food" in the fridge.
Any suggestions on what I should do? Also, is it weird that I'm this insecure about "admitting" to being on a diet in in front of a guy?
Oh wow. That was a really sucky move, not telling you about the boyfriend. I've only heard horror stories about a single person living with a couple. If it's really a dealbreaker, you could try to sublet your room for the remainder of your lease.
At the very least, establish some ground rules and boundaries immediately. If you stay, both of them are going to see you at your highest and your lowest, so be prepared. . . . on the bright side, it may cure some of your insecurities around guys.
At the very least, establish some ground rules and boundaries immediately. If you stay, both of them are going to see you at your highest and your lowest, so be prepared. . . . on the bright side, it may cure some of your insecurities around guys.
Good Luck!
I agree with this. I live with 4 boys. They have no problems with the "diet food" in the house, it actually ensures that they don't eat it, because god fobid they have lite may instead of full fat...but I digress. It sucks that she sprung that on you, but living with a guy gives you a lot of insight into how they operate, and really may help with your insecurities.
I think you still have the right to speak to her about it. Sure, you rent something from here, but you did so under a set of conditions...of those things change, you should at least be looking at a reduction in your rent. If you're not comfortable living with a man, you wouldn't have moved into an apartment with one...
Otherwise, I agree with what people have been saying. Boys don't care what you keep in the fridge. He most likely won't even notice.
Thanks guys, I appreciate the feedback! I did end up talking to her, but it was a frustratingly useless conversation. Basically she was like, "okay, I'll see if anyone else can put him up for a while...but that could take quite a while." Nothing changing. 3 people living in an apartment that's probably too small even for two. I am NOT a happy girl right now.
it actually ensures that they don't eat it, because god forbid they have lite may instead of full fat
Ain't that the truth!!!
You should really have a sociable conversation with him to get the impression of whether or not he's a nice guy, will he respect your room, etc. I'm assuming he's not a jerk.
Do you have a lease with whoever you rent from? Otherwise, you have very few options about it, because she won't kick out her boyfriend.
Personally, I lived with my boyfriend and a roommate and I found it too hard on our relationship for various communication and support reasons, both between me and bf and me and the rm. I asked rm to leave. *shrug* You'll have to carefully assess your situation, and maybe start looking for another place O.o
Ummmm.... lemme give you the best piece of advice that I can. I have lived with 3 different couples (one dating, one gay couple and one married couple).... get out of there as quickly as you can. There's something about the dynamics of a couple and the third wheel that just hasn't worked out for me in the past. Plus, I don't care who owns the house I don't put up with drama and people yelling (or beating the crap out of each other) in my space.
I'm sure you can't get out right now, but it's just a lesson I have learned the hard way.
As for being self conscious - I would totally feel that way even if it was just a female roommate period that hadn't really been around and then all of a sudden was around. I'm big on personal space and my things so it would be a hard adjustment on me. Guys don't really pay too much attention to what you do or don't have around as a few said before.
I would certainly ask for a decrease in my rent.... split things 3 ways vs 2 while he's there because that isn't fair.
Thanks for all the feedback! I hadn't even thought about asking for a reduction in rent, to be honest. I think that's a fair thing to ask for, though, so I'll let you know how things go...
Feral, as for moving out, I totally agree that it WOULD be the best option, except that my lease ends in 5 weeks anyway. I guess the smartest thing to do right now is just try not to be home often, and stick it out.
And on a lighter note, to balance out all the whining I've done in this thread: it's TOM so I figured my weight wouldn't be any lower today, but I stepped on the scale and had dropped another 2 pounds somehow! Good start to the day
living with boys
