Here come a story, My daughter is thirteen years old, 5ft 7in weight 296. She has been heavy most of her life. I have tried several different ways to help her, but she doesn't seem to stick with any . Its really hard to watch her, she has no motivation as far as exercise, and wants to eat whatever whenever, We were in weight watcher, but do to finances have not gone in a month. Even when we do go for 5 months the most she lost was 5 lbs. Its hard because she does have a mild form of physical disability , but not enough that she can't exercise. She does like boys however that has not help either. She has very little friends and never really goes any where. She is a little shy, and always thinks I should do everything with her. I keep trying to make her see that she has to want to help herself and learn to be more independent but I am really at a lost as to what to do. Since most of you here are younger I was wondering if you have any suggestion. She doesn't seem to be interested in any activity,sports etc. Please Help

Awww that is terrible! I know it must be hard on you, but hopefully it's just a phase. For someone who has a sednetary lifestyle the smallest changes will give you results, and maybe when she starts to see results she'll have more motivation to do something. I would suggest walking for an exercise. Do you have a puppy you can use as an excuse to go on walks together,like maybe after dinner or something? Also, you can control what she eats by controling what you stock the house with. Also, I know that this is going to be really tough because the one thing you can't do is make her feel like you think she is fat, because that would be even worse. You can maybe make it a competition too, challenger her, start by showing her some of the goal/progress pictures on here. I've seen so many amazing pictures where people go from say 300 to 100 something, its AMAZING, and such inspiration because I know that I'd feel like there was NO WAY i'd ever lose that much weight. But it's possible, and it takes time, but dang it's worth it. Good Luck mom, I hope you get some good suggestions!

I see you are losing, too. Continue to serve low calorie , wholesome foods. See if you can get her to help and prepare meals that will help her lose. At her age she should be learning that anyway,we all must learn to take care of ourselves. Have you had her checked by a doctor to be sure she has no physical reason for being overweight ? The doctor can help with a diet plan for her.

Just change the way your family eating. Isn't it you who buy food for the family? After that get your daughter to help making dinner with you. She'll eventually get to learn about food choice from you. Obviously, cut down all junk food (candies, cokes, cakes, pizza, fast food etc...). Tbh, at 13 years old, I don't think your daughter have much choices beside eating what the whole family eating. You can even cut down her allowance and make lunch for her.
For the exercise part, encourage her to dance rather than work out. You can find video that teach dance moves and stuff that girls at that age would like.

Hope that helps.

Lashelle, I think the best you can do until she decides she want to lose weight is to contiue to set a good example. You've lost 26 pounds so you are doing something right. Continue the WW program even if you are not going to meetings and weighing in. At her age you should still have some control over what she is eating, you're buying the groceriesand fixing meals. Keep healthy low calorie foods in the house, if junk food isn't there she won't be eating it, at home anyway. Since she wants to spend time with you, (enjoy it while she is young and still wants to) find activies that you can do together. Go for walks after dinner, bike riding if you can, swimming at a local community pool. When she is with you park a distance from the door when you go anywhere.

I wish you the best, it is not easy. My youngest son always struggled with weight while his older brother ate more junk food than he did and was always thin, till he became an adult. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair.

You could ask her to go online and pick out some healthy recipes to try together. Maybe even one she would like to make herself (with your help if she is not that skilled in the kitchen.) And for exercise, now that the weather is warmer, look for some nature trails in your area and go for a family hike.

When I was 13, my mom gave me money for school lunches every day, and that's where I made the majority of my bad decisions. Instead of opting for healthy meals, our cafeteria had a fast-food style line, and every day I would either have pizza slathered in ranch dressing, or a fried chicken patty sandwich, and fries with every meal, also slathered in ranch dressing. And with whatever few cents I had left over, I would raid the candy concession cart. On a DAILY BASIS.

So in that respect, I disagree that you are in total control of what she is eating. You can try to work together to find something that she wouldn't mind eating for lunch at school but if my mom had tried that with me, she would have had limited success because I hated to be the kid with a packed lunch when all my friends got the "good stuff".

Is there anywhere you guys can go as a family to do something outdoorsy? My parents used to take us for a picnic in the mountains and then after we ate we'd hike for a few hours on a trail. When we went on car trips, we packed sandwiches in a cooler to avoid fast food.

It is very difficult to offer support to a teenager you are concerned about, because any time my own mother hinted that I needed to change some habits, I acted like I didn't care on the outside (which probably frustrated her more) but on the inside I felt less encouraged and more hopeless. Like heck, I'm fat and I have no friends and nobody will ever like me. Instead, when I came up with an activity on my own that I wanted to do, she was all for it. I was in a fun-league swim team for a few years until I gave up on it due to a comment my dad made about how I looked in my swimming suit. Not realizing that if I kept with it and snacked less after practice, I'd look as good as the other kids. The only thing that mattered was how bad I looked to my family then and there. Maybe that is also why your daughter seems to have no interest in sports or activities. Maybe she feels like she doesn't belong there, doesn't have the ability, etc. One activity I was scared about but glad I stuck with was marching band. That was a daily physical activity AND friend builder, even though I wanted to skip it and just be in concert band in high school.

Wow, that was a lot of my personal experience in this message, but I guess my main points were to be very careful of how your daughter perceives your concern. I am GLAD you are concerned for her, but even if she seems not to care, she might be very sensitive about it. Be very supportive of her if she does want to try an activity, and be careful of too much criticism along the way. And really, even as a mother, you can't make up her mind for her--she will eventually have to make up her own mind to lose the weight. I can't stress enough how important it is that she feels you accept her the way she is.

As a mother of teens, I agree with a clean environment and I make my kids walk the dog, with and without me, she needs to get out everyday and it has become enjoyable for all of us.

I don't know what your finacial situation is, but I have not met a teen that does not like a gadget! Look into the bobybugg or go fit wear, there are a few threads on here that can give you info. it is the gadget they wear on the biggest loser, sometimes seeing what is going on is a huge eye opener and all you have to do is complete today

Im sorry to hear that you are struggling with your daughter.

What I would do id cut everything bad out of your house. No bad foods so she can't sneak any when you aren't looking.

Even if you aren't on WW, you can still buy the foods that they offer, or go online and figure out how many point so and so would be, So you can add them up on your own.

And take her to the doctor. I know she might resent it, but tough love needs to be shown. If she sees that being that heavy so young can cause her major health risks in life, it might be what she needs to get into gear

And you can go out and buy recipe books, or even find them for free online, of many thing you can make for her that she'll enjoy that is still healthy for her. Like pizza, and hamburgers, frozen yogurt. They're lots of good recipes out there for these types of foods that she loves and it can still be healthy.

And go with her and exercise. A walk in the park, take her swimming, or bike riding. Let her know that exercising doesn't have to be a chore!

And we're always here to help you!!

Try not to have ANY junk food in the house .

One thing you can do is keep being a good role model. One of my motivations for finally eating healthy, exercising, and losing weight was to be a better role model for my daughter (age 12). She can't help but have noticed the success I've had in the last year and I am somewhat shocked, but it seems to have worked!

She has not been heavy but she gained a lot of weight in the past year. Imagine my surprise when her food choices started mimicking mine! She started asking for grapefruit and apples for snacks, more veggies with her meals, and even finding healthy choices when eating out! Not only that, but she has been making some attempts to exercise more (riding her bike, using Wii fit). I don't know how long it will last, but I'm not going to push her any further than she takes it herself. She would push back.

I know from personal experience, when you're young and battling weight issues, sometimes it's the fear of people mocking you that prevents you from doing healthy activities that can keep you sedentary. Heck, that's still my problem, although now I have *actual* weight issues rather than ones that were all in my head, like when I was your daughter's age.

I like the idea of dancing. That's how I used to stay in shape when I was younger. Truthfully, I just threw the radio on after school and spent an hour or two dancing around the living room. Looking back, I was in terrific shape, but I was curvy, unlike the athletic girls in high school I knew who were shaped more like boys. But dancing is a great way to move your body and it's free so long as you have a radio or a good CD.

I agree with a few of the comments other people made. I work in health insurance, and you may want to see if your health insurance plan does offer a fitness/weight loss benefits where you can get annual reimbursement for doing a hospital-based weight loss program or Weight Watchers or for joining a gym. Also, it doesn't hurt for her to make sure she doesn't have a thyroid problem. Her doctor may want to run tests to make sure her cholesterol levels are ok and she can go for meetings with nutritionists under most plans, although they do need to submit the serves charges to insurance with some kind of diagnosis.

I think the most important thing here is to take notice of how her weight is affecting her self-esteem and her outward/social behavior. Take stock of that and try to find ways to interact with her that are encouraging. It's very difficult with girls that age not to come across as critical. I'm sure you are doing your best and looking at your progress, I think being a good example is on of the best things you can do.

Keep up the good work and good luck with your daughter. I hope you both are able to come up with some healthy ideas for her.

I think you should keep setting the good example that you are already doing. Since she wants to spend time with you have her help you cook, Go for a walk with her after dinner Buy a dance workout type video those are fun. Baisically everything that was already offered to you. I don't know how bagging school lunch would workout but if she is up for it, it would work. Once she starts feeling better about herself I think she will want to spend more time with frioends.

Weight loss is mostly food, not exercise. There's no way a kid who is over 100 pounds overweight is going to work off the weight. (Walking a miile burns maybe 100 calories at that size. She'd need to walk 35 miles to burn off a pound.)

You can't control what she eats when she's not in your home, but you can control what's in your home.

I've been that 13 year old. I saw a nutritionist for the first time at about age 3. I was in an obesity clinic by 10. I dieted, I fasted, I starved, I binged, purged, exercised to a point of an obession... but none of that lasted long enough to make any difference. I was still fat. It wasn't until I went to the doctor one day and had a fill in for my regular doctor tell me, "You are incredibly overweight. Do you want to die? Because you will die a young, miserable death." I was furious that she had the audacity to tell me these things because after all, I was a top student, with top accolades in many areas of life. But my health was FAILING. It took someone to be really, really harsh with me to get me to change. So many people had told me to cut back, don't eat junk, blah blah blah and I did most of these things. I just at too much fat free ice cream and too many turkey sandwhiches with carrots.

I counted calories. Went from 253lbs to 170. Don't wait. I regret that my parents weren't harsher with me. I sometimes blame them.

This is a serious health concern... a small change isn't what she needs.

Sorry if any of this is blunt or taken the wrong way, but life isn't always roses. It CAN be done, and YOU can do it with her. It will be a great empowering experience to become healthier along with your daughter... your relationship will benefit.