I'm sorry I rant at you guys so much but you guys are amazing and I have no one else to talk to. I'm feeling pretty alone right now.
So i'm having one of those days where I feel like my life is going nowhere. Days like this I wish college was over already and I could be out making something of myself. I'm sick of being a lazy person who has accomplished nothing spectacular in her 20 years. It feels like everyone around me if achieve so much and really living their lives, if that makes sense?
I'm sick of being the fat girl. But I also think that I think everything thats wrong in my life is cause by my weight. But I just don't want it to be an issue anymore.
I don't know what it is about today though. I guess my life is just a mess at the moment. My room, scrap that my entire house is a mess. I'm being really lazy about college work. I feel really lathargic about everything. It's stupid, I'm happy to complain about what I want and am annoyed I'm not getting it but at the same time I feel to unenthusiastic to actually do anything about it.
I think I'm going to go make an appointment witht the college counsellor tomorrow. I really need to get my life on track and in order to do that I need to get my head in the right place. then I can clean up my act and start doing the things I want to do.
Hey, it's okay to not always have everything together. Maybe the reason you're getting nothing finished is because you're feeling overwhelmed trying to do everything. I think you're going to have to give yourself permission to be okay at a few things, and really try to excel at one specific thing. So maybe, clean your house to a level where you don't invite critters, start eating a little healthier, and give 110% to your schoolwork.
Realistically, you'll get to be someone "important" once you've paid your dues, so maybe each step is in progress to getting there.
Last edited by sprklemajik; 03-11-2009 at 08:19 PM.
I really find that doing a complete room cleaning overhall goes and positively affects the rest of my life. Blast some upbeat music and plough through!
But really, big life changes seem to grow from moments of frustration, so the things you want may be just around the corner!
I have definitely been there. I think you need to try really hard to focus on positives, because at the moment you sound a little depressed. Instead of thinking "I'm sick of being the fat girl" be proud of yourself for losing 18 lbs. That's a big deal! As far as doing homework/housework, I find that like aneleh said, music is a great motivator. Like, you tend to not even realize how fast time passes with it on.
Maddie, I am in the same rut you are! I am less than two semesters away from graduation, yet I haven't gone to class in three weeks. I just don't have any motivation to do so.
Because of money issues, I stay home... a lot. Friends of mine are always going out, to dinner and concerts and movies, but they still live at home, and their parents still treat them like kids. I'm doing it on my own. So I totally am here for you if you need anything! I DEFINATELY have to get back on track with school.. midterms are soon, and I need to get in shape if I ever want to graduate...
Then again, getting VITAL CLASSES that you need cancelled every semester has hindered my academic progress as well. How can I graduate when you don't offer the class I need to finish? Can you say FRUSTRATING??!?! !
Last edited by blissclaire; 03-12-2009 at 06:25 AM.
Hi guys,
I wanted to thank you all. You have no idea how much I appreciate your input. Every word means something to me and I really have taken what you have said to heart. And today I honestly feel a little better. I had a few low points during the day already (well it's 5pm here!) but I've held my head high and told myself things will get better I just have to stick with it and not give up and the rest will follow.
I plucked up the courage to go to the counselling office today. It scares me I've been putting it off for months but today I was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a knot in my stomach and I began to turn and walk the other way but suddenly, as if someone was giving me a little push I turned and walked up and in to the office. It helped that the woman in the office was very kind about it. She took my name and I made an appointment for next thursday at 11.30. She said that the main counsellor will have a meeting with me to assess me as such. I'm actually looking forward to it. I went to a few counselling sessions before and I found them really helpful.
I got up and went into my 9am lecture this morning, the first one I managed to get to. And I went to all my lectures and was actually engaged in all of them. I feel accomplised. to most people that wouldn't be much of an achievement but I really do feel like I earned something today. I even went to the library for and hour and a half to catch up on notes.
So today I'm feeling a little more positive about everything. Thanks again you guys.
blissclaire: that sounds really frustrating. thats really unfair that they cancelled the classes on you. It is so hard to find the motivation to go in sometimes. Some times it'll be fine and I'll go to every lecture but then there are times when I feel like this and it's the last thing I want to do. I stay at home a lot too. I'm broke all the time, I want to go out and really have the "college life" but I can't afford to spend 50 bucks on a night out. I'd be in debt for 2 weeks! totally not worth it, but it gets really lonely as well. Especially when everyone goes home for the weekend.
I was in the same boat, especially right before I graduated.
I went to counseling too, and it helped me, but I noticed what really helped was slowly tackling the things that were bothering me, one at a time, even the small things. I was a vegetarian for a long time, but not eating meat always put stress on me so I started eating meat again... little things like that. It seems an unimportant issue but it's really helped a lot.
I've also become sort of a cleaning fanatic. I'm not as bad as my sister (her house is like a museum, you're not even allowed to sit on the bloody furniture), but I've found having my house in order helps a LOT. Even if work and job hunting and everything is out of whack, having a clean orderly house does wonders.
OT: having one of those days...
