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Old 02-05-2009, 02:18 AM   #1  
finding my balance...
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Unhappy OT: trouble at work

so, I work at a clothing store, and lately it's been really crazy for me. I thought everything was fine, then my boss got caught, for slowly stealing thousands of dollars in money and merchandise from the store..So I get in trouble for that, right, even though I didn't steal anything, but basically because I knew too much. Right then my bf got laid off and I was worried about losing my job and it wasn't fun at all. but I kept my job, and in fact my District manager ended uo telling me how great I was at my job and whatnot. So a new manager gets hired and I'm all amped because I figure things will turn around. Boy was I wrong. She totally doesn't trust me or rely on me, she talks about me behind my back to other coworkers, and she basically acts like I'm incapable of my job. I feel totally alienated between her and the other asst. manager being like best friends all of a sudden, and I always feel like she is looking down on me. I go to work every day feeling pretty much embarrassed and useless, and I just can't take it anymore. I do my job, I love my job, I was really excited to get this job and now it's blowing up in my face. I totally don't have the option to leave since my bf is laid off and I live in MI where there are no jobs, and I talked to my manager about it today and she just acts like it's totally crazy and nothing is wrong. she flat out lies to my face, even though I have caught her doing things behind my back! I feel like I shouldn't have to deal with this at my work where we are all grown ups. It feels like high school. sigh. sorry this is so long, I don't know that anyone cares, but I just needed to vent, and I think my bf has heard it enough
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Old 02-05-2009, 03:36 AM   #2  
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Sorry to hear about your situation! Is there any possibility of transferring to a different store (like if its a chain?). Our there's got to be someone higher up, try talking to them...you said the district manager is really happy with you...?
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:24 AM   #3  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tandifrass View Post
so, I work at a clothing store, and lately it's been really crazy for me. I thought everything was fine, then my boss got caught, for slowly stealing thousands of dollars in money and merchandise from the store..So I get in trouble for that, right, even though I didn't steal anything, but basically because I knew too much. Right then my bf got laid off and I was worried about losing my job and it wasn't fun at all. but I kept my job, and in fact my District manager ended uo telling me how great I was at my job and whatnot. So a new manager gets hired and I'm all amped because I figure things will turn around. Boy was I wrong. She totally doesn't trust me or rely on me, she talks about me behind my back to other coworkers, and she basically acts like I'm incapable of my job. I feel totally alienated between her and the other asst. manager being like best friends all of a sudden, and I always feel like she is looking down on me. I go to work every day feeling pretty much embarrassed and useless, and I just can't take it anymore. I do my job, I love my job, I was really excited to get this job and now it's blowing up in my face. I totally don't have the option to leave since my bf is laid off and I live in MI where there are no jobs, and I talked to my manager about it today and she just acts like it's totally crazy and nothing is wrong. she flat out lies to my face, even though I have caught her doing things behind my back! I feel like I shouldn't have to deal with this at my work where we are all grown ups. It feels like high school. sigh. sorry this is so long, I don't know that anyone cares, but I just needed to vent, and I think my bf has heard it enough
well the first thing i picked up from on that was, has your new manager ever managed before? cos there is no way that you should talk about your colleagues to others. Is she doing it (talking about you) to people who are your junior? cos if she is then that speaks of real insecurity in her job. Perhaps she sees you as a threat but not the other assistant manager?

you've spoken to her and she's just pushing it back from you. then if you really do feel like there is an issue can you take it to a higher manager? obviously someone thinks you're doing a good job or they wouldn't have said so.
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:43 AM   #4  
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sounds like the district manager would be a good person to talk to
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Old 02-05-2009, 06:05 AM   #5  
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Maybe if you wrote a list of things that are good about yourself it might help you to feel better if you think your manager is looking down on you. Depending if you're evil and nasty try and think of some things that are better about you than the manager and feel smug. Lol.
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Old 02-05-2009, 08:57 AM   #6  
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i think making/keeping note of bullying behaviour that she engages in and then speaking to your district manager (who has already expressed approval of your work) would be the best bet.
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Old 02-05-2009, 10:42 AM   #7  
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I agree with froggie. The same thing happened at my last job so I made a list of everything this particular person did that would be frowned upon and I made sure there were witnesses that would not lie. Talk to some of the people that you trust up at work and ask if they have noticed her acting out and then ask them if they would mind talking to human resources if you were to file a complaint. My HR office was very understanding and greatful that I brought it to their attention and they immediately did something about it.
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Old 02-05-2009, 10:53 AM   #8  
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Could you just sit down and have a heart-to-heart with the woman who is causing the most trouble? If that doesn't work, and you've talked to the manager, try going to the district manager. It helps to look at the Employee Code of Conduct and use the direct phrases they use to describe the violations she's committing, "creating a hostile work environment", specifically.

I had a similar situation once at a job, and I regret not going to HR. It definitely affected my performance.
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:25 PM   #9  
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I was just reading your post and my heart goes out to you. I don't know what the best way is to deal with the problem, but I would think keeping a record is a start. Don't give up Tandifrass!!! Your manager has no right to look down on you, if she does she has bad self esteem. You never got convicted for anything so you have a complete right to hold your head up, who is she to be pretending to be the court of law.
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Old 02-05-2009, 03:16 PM   #10  
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my sister is going through the same thing at her wrong, and I really feel for you, because I know she hates her job, but jobs are rare at the moment.
If I were you I would say something to the head boss, because they have known you longer, and will probably at least try and see what is going on.
Although if you're worried about nothing happinging and ur boss getting even more mad at you, then try and transfer, (if its a chain)

Good luck!
=]
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:07 PM   #11  
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Sounds to me like she is the one unsure of herself and you. Maybe shes worried they will see that you are more capable of doing the job than she is. Whatever it is im sure its not you, she just got there and dont know a thing about you. I would go on like i dont even notice, altho it may be hard to do, but shes like a bully let them know it hurts and they keep going act like u dont care and they get bored. gl with that, and never let anyone get YOU down.
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Old 02-05-2009, 11:25 PM   #12  
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Have they singled just you out or does she act this way around other people? I have been having almost identical problems at work.

A new girl started at work and immediatly started trouble. I have caught her more than once trying to get me in trouble and yet she still acts like the innocent victim. She talks about me behind my back and then accuses me of being two faced. the worst part is that she's a grown women with two small children.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this problem? Its certainly not fair that you're being singled out
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Old 02-06-2009, 11:50 PM   #13  
finding my balance...
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My friend and I are targeted... We had a talk with out boss today and things were ok for the day, but we'll see what happens... it just sucks having to go to a place where you're uncomfortable and walking on eggshells for 8 hours.. I also found out today the other girl who I can't get along with is saying I did things I didn't annd crediting herself for my work...i dunno, as soon as I can it's time for a career change.
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