I think the best way of filtering out the "fails" is by having a DETAILED profile. Don't include "I like TV, movies, and music" and nothing else, because you are just gonna get "I like your titties" responses. My profile on plentyoffish contained about 30 other hobbies, including some rather unusual ones, and a lot of stuff in the about me section, so it was really easy to filter out the trash when I got messages. The guys who specifically comment on items in your profile and give a reason are your best bets, since clearly they have a peresonal interest in you. Most people don't take the time to write a bunch of lies if they aren't really interested, at least in my experience. They just don't write at all.
Also, don't spend a long time with e-mail/chat. You are going to date someone, not email them forever. Chat or mail 2-3 times and then just decide to meet. That's what happens "out there". People just meet. Meet in a public place and just do it already! Chemistry happens in person, not on the phone. I'm horrible on the phone, even with my boyfriend, but in person, No Problem.
I met my first long term boyfriend on plentyoffish about 1 1/2 years ago. We were together about 8 months, though the chemistry wasn't there, but we are still friends. Neither of us had dated much, him since high school and me only a handful of dates, all starting after college, so we both REALLY needed that relationship. I reached my highest weight ever during that time (255) but it didn't bother him at all. I met a handful of other people of POF as well, none of which I met with again, but it was good to just go on a date, since I'd had so few.
The guy I saw long term also getting married this summer, to a girl he met while we were dating (no, no cheating or anything) and they both thanked me, because he met her indirectly through me, even though we didn't know each other, frm coming to one of my regular recreational activities.
So even if the chemistry just isn't there with the person(s) you meet, the dating itself is important, for your self esteem, and practice! And sharing each others activities and new ones you both may try introduce you to a greater range of people. I met my current bf (and likely future husband, as we have talked about frequently) at a weekly dance, introduced to me by friends. So, TRY NEW STUFF!
Last edited by Tarisaande; 01-07-2009 at 04:25 PM.
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