my dad last sat on the way to dinner, he says to me that there was a lady that came into the hospital she was 30 and she died of enlarged heart cuz she weighed over 500lbs. which is very sad. i was like are u trying to tell me something, he was like no, but i think he was cuz he always put me down cuz im fat, he was 1 of the reasons y i started eating the way i did. just thought i would share. n has any1 ever said anything like that to u guys?
Last edited by CurvaceousCutie; 12-27-2008 at 01:21 AM.
My dad, step mom, and a couple aunts. They really suck at knowing what to say to encourage people. I don't know what made me start gaining exactly, but it was right around the time my dad left my mom for my step mom. I can only assume that she, or the whole situation had something to do with it. Anyways, one of the worst things my dad would say was "You're eating again?!" In a shocked and disappointed tone. Even if it was the first thing I put in my mouth that day. Eventually I started closet eating because I was ashamed to eat in front of him. There were many comments. I bet he's doing it because he loves you, he probably just doesn't know how to say things to let you know it. That's my dads problem anyways.
ya my dad would say that or watch me eat me eat n he always look disappointed and now i wont eat with my family cuz its bad. hes never given me a compliment and says that he cant tell that i lost weight. i try to say y dont u lose weight with me and he says when i get down to wear he is then thats when he start (in a nasty tone)
Have you ever tried telling him how his words effect you, or make you feel?
I personally was never on that level with my dad either. Does he know how deeply what he says hurts you?
I guess the most important part for me, is that I'm losing the weight for myself, not for my dads or anybodies approval. So no matter what he says, or what anybody else says, yeah it might hurt, but I'm not disappointing them because I'm not doing this for them!
I guess the most important part for me, is that I'm losing the weight for myself, not for my dads or anybodies approval. So no matter what he says, or what anybody else says, yeah it might hurt, but I'm not disappointing them because I'm not doing this for them! -i agree with u. n hes knows hes been doing it for the 14 yrs now, it just hurts cuz its my dad u know?
my uncle is the exact same way. in my family of chubbies he's the only skinny one and he is hard on EVERYONE especially me <keep in mind his wife has about 60 lbs on me AND i just had a baby five months ago> bc he says "ur too pretty to b fat". luckily he knows it pushes me harder. he lives across the street from me but hes gone for work about three weeks at a time and i bust my butt while he's gone to prove to him i can. i also have an aunt who is super heavy who says "danielle ur never gonna b skinny". use their negativity as motivation and show them u can.
I think this is deeper than a simple case of a father not knowing how to be supportive. I find it hard to believe that he cannot tell that you've lost over 110 lbs at your height. Now it's true that when you see someone every day (even yourself in a mirror), it can be difficult to SEE the changes, but this sounds like a deeper negativity.
Regardless of the reasons for his negativity (none of which have anything really to do with you), it does hurt, and while you can learn to let it bother you less and less, it never really completely disappears. I'm 42, and I still struggle with wanting (and being disappointed when I don't get) those parental "great job, I'm proud of you," pats on the back.
I'm sorry your dad can't or won't be there for you, and while it's not quite the same, all of us here ARE here for you.
thank u, im glad i have u guys on here cuz u guys are the only ones who understand and are supportive. everyone in my family n friends arent all i get its the neagtivity.
I do remember one of my friends telling me that I should lose weight when we were reeeeally young (like elementary school or something--yeah, I've been fat my whole life) because she was worried about my health. It seems kind of cute now, because it's not as if we were really aware of all the the health problems that are caused by being overweight, but she was really just looking out for me... Showing that she cared and all that... But of course at the time I was pretty hurt by it. It kind of bugs me when I hear about people (presumably trying to be helpful) pointing out all the dangers of being overweight. It's essentially like saying "Not only are you going to die, but it's all your fault!" I'm like, what the crap? I know that being overweight is unhealthy and that it's my fault that I'm fat--I really don't need anyone to remind me. Hehe.
Hey Cutie,
Can we just take a 20 second TO right now and celebrate what you've already accomplished? 110 pounds lost!!!!!!!!! You are a rockstar!!!!!!!
Your dad might have been trying to tell you that you're doing a good thing for yourself so you don't end up like the person in the story? If not, focus on what you're doing for you, and keep working hard, girl! You have a lot to be proud of!!!
Oh my
Hehe.
