That's some awful strong crack your dad is on. Part of my brain says he's trying to protect you, but the other part (the part I listen to) says he's kind of bossy and old-school. Yeah, he makes me barf.
Is there someone else who could help you out? Or are you going to end up in federal prison if he keeps picking on you?
Every time you want to murder him, remember, prison is not so great in the health and fitness area. Poor kid.
My dad used to insult me for my weight while disguising it as concern for my health. It would send me right to the snack foods (the emotional eater that I am) Never offered me anything constructive or motivating.
I tried talking with him about it, but it didn't seem to work. Try explaining your position, see what happens.
Hooray for coffee!
You know, it sounds to me like you are currently in a position where your life is more successful than your father's. He is sleeping on your couch, and you are paying the rent. With that kind of dynamic going on, it is no wonder he is feeling the need to assert himself over you, make stupid pronouncements, etc. By the way, the "do not listen to your little friends" statement got the previous Domestic Violence Advocate senses in me humming. Not that this is a DV kind of thing, but trying, somehow, to emotionally isolate you and marginalize your support network? That is creepy, controlling and NOT ok. You are in charge of your health and your eating choices...good or bad. And, if I were you, I would make that crystal clear to him...especially if he keeps sleeping on your couch. He needs to respect your boundaries. What he said is NOT advice...it is an attempt at subtle sabotage. It is an insult wrapped in parental care, and it was a nasty thing to do. It was the equivalent of saying you are so heavy that your situation is hopeless...so don't bother. That is crap. Utter crap. You have already proved with your weight loss that it is not true. When your back is better, get out there and get moving. Love him, but ignore him.
You're 252lbs - not 2520lbs! Of course you can exercise! If you aren't used to exercising - and particularly if you've recently injured yourself - you should take it slow, but you should definitely exercise!!!
May I recommend my favourite ever ever exercise? The crosstrainer. I do at least half an hour on the crosstrainer every day - it burns 350cals per half hour at my weight, its hard work but it's low impact so its good for bigger girls and doesn't leave you with sore knees and shin splints and begging for your life like running does (for me, anyway!).
Don't listen to your dad, just get moving, any way you can!
You know, it sounds to me like you are currently in a position where your life is more successful than your father's. He is sleeping on your couch, and you are paying the rent. With that kind of dynamic going on, it is no wonder he is feeling the need to assert himself over you, make stupid pronouncements, etc. By the way, the "do not listen to your little friends" statement got the previous Domestic Violence Advocate senses in me humming. Not that this is a DV kind of thing, but trying, somehow, to emotionally isolate you and marginalize your support network? That is creepy, controlling and NOT ok. You are in charge of your health and your eating choices...good or bad. And, if I were you, I would make that crystal clear to him...especially if he keeps sleeping on your couch. He needs to respect your boundaries. What he said is NOT advice...it is an attempt at subtle sabotage. It is an insult wrapped in parental care, and it was a nasty thing to do. It was the equivalent of saying you are so heavy that your situation is hopeless...so don't bother. That is crap. Utter crap. You have already proved with your weight loss that it is not true. When your back is better, get out there and get moving. Love him, but ignore him.
Boy did you hit that nail on the head. He is actually in an interval between rehabs. No kidding. My former drunk dad is planted on my couch that i bought to get the **** away from him. The irony is just outstanding.
Believe me, i could have him gone he would be. I have to wait until the 22nd.
I am not wounded by him in any means. I just wasnt sure how much validity he had and if I was just so taken back by his comment that I was possibly missing advice that may have actually been justified.
That is why i came to you guys, my little Jimminey Crickets, wisdom holders, the people who keep me sane.
I think that's just men in general, they all have something stupid to say when the women in their lives start a weight loss program, or attempt to get healthy, or do just about anything else. When I crashed my bike and royally kicked my own @ss my husband blamed it on my 'bad leg' and told me I was trying to do too much physical activity. He's also always got something to say about my lack of weight training and vegetarian diet. I used to get snippy, but now I just nod and smile and say, "thank you baby, I love you" and give him a kiss on the cheek. He usually shuts the **** up the rest of the day. I think he just kinda wanted to be acknowledged.
He is still convinced that my old arthritic stiff leg is going to be my demise. Nevermind the fact that I know full well my inner 8 year old took over on that big, steep hill. I just wanted to go down it REALLY fast and yanno ... bikes don't brake as well with 155lbs on them as they do with a 40lb kid. LoL. Skinned knees/elbows/shins and busted lips didn't hurt this bad when I was a kid either. It always seemed like they were gone in half an hour or a day at the most. Why is that? The digital speed/distance monitor I have on my bike said I topped out at 34.6mph which is pretty awesome!!! But it did end in a rather hard collision with the asphalt and I have felt like i've been run over by a mac truck for the last week. It's definitely putting a damper on things. My new bedmates are a hot water bottle and a cup of maximum strength pain relief alka seltzer. <~~~Me Right Now
Maybe ol' Pops is the same way? I think he's just trying to be an overprotective ninny. Tell him to shut up and stop drinking your cherry coke zero. I used to hide mine in the crisper drawer at the bottom of the fridge to keep DH out of mine. He doesn't eat vegetables unless I feed them to him so it was never a place he thought to look.
Tell him to shut up and stop drinking your cherry coke zero. I used to hide mine in the crisper drawer at the bottom of the fridge to keep DH out of mine. He doesn't eat vegetables unless I feed them to him so it was never a place he thought to look.
To play devil's advocate a bit here, your dad's concerns seem overblown, but I'm not sure they don't have at least a little bit of merit. Not enough to say you shouldn't be exercising, but if you have injured your back badly enough to be bedridden in excruciating pain for four days that's a fairly significant injury, and it wouldn't necessarily be unreasonable for a family member to ask if you aren't sure you weren't overdoing it, or whether you might be exercising improperly (but like many people, his delivery was poor, and his opinion overstated).
Interesting theory. Maybe in the land of "easy weight loss" could you ever not exercise. Maybe your dad is living in this land.
Oh boy, if he is he is very lucky.
To play devil's advocate a bit here, your dad's concerns seem overblown, but I'm not sure they don't have at least a little bit of merit. Not enough to say you shouldn't be exercising, but if you have injured your back badly enough to be bedridden in excruciating pain for four days that's a fairly significant injury, and it wouldn't necessarily be unreasonable for a family member to ask if you aren't sure you weren't overdoing it, or whether you might be exercising improperly (but like many people, his delivery was poor, and his opinion overstated).
See, that is where the funny part comes in - I pulled my back out getting out of my recliner. That is a total Archie Bunker move! lol. His "advice" came out of no where lol. I wish I had hurt myself exercising - at least then I wouldnt feel like such dork. But I totally see your point. lol.
You know better than anyone if you have to pretty much ignore anything that comes out of your dad's mouth (I have a few of those relatives, myself. In fact an uncle, that if he tells you the sky is blue, you might want to get a second opinion just on principle).
You always hear that anyone should have a check-up before starting a weight loss or exercise regime. I think it's good advice, but most people don't and most people don't have any problems either. Any time I've ever asked a doctor about exercise, the advice is always "do what you can, be careful of your back and knees, and if it hurts (especially in the back or knees), stop." Oooh, profound advice (advice that even without a back issue, would have been common sense, I would have thought).
A pre-employment physical (when I was probably at least 75 lbs thinner) right out of college found nodules on my spine, and the doctor asked if I had ever any back pain or problems. I said no (I'd had minor lower back pain occasionally, but I didn't want to mention it, for fear I wouldn't get the hospital job). He said that many people with the spinal nodules that I had, never had any back problems, others were prone to disc herniations and I might experience them later in life (I did herniate a disc about 7 years later). He told me I should be careful with exercise, no running (also had bad knees) or super heavy lifting, but basically anything that wasn't painful was fine.
Without xrays, no doctor would have found the spinal abnormality, so I'm not sure that the average "ask the doctor if exercise is ok," would find that kind of problem. Most doctors are going to say "go ahead and exercise," and if there's any reason that a person shouldn't, it's only going to be found out after the person has gotten hurt, during exercise.
My sister's husband is a good example. He's in great physical shape (a baseball and basketball nut), but he has a heart condition and has passed out several times, usually during an intense game of basketball. He had some doctors say he shouldn't exercise at all, and other's doctors said it was vital for him to keep his heart healthy with exercise. Finally a smart cardiologist gave him the correct diagnosis, and as it turns out - it's very safe for him to exercise, but very unsafe for him to get dehydrated. The reason he was passing out, is that his electrolytes easily get out of balance, so he dehydrates during sports very easily, which is unusual for most people, but common for him and could be life threatening. But, all he has to do, is keep well hydrated with a sports drink handy, before and after exercise, and not exercise in extremely hot weather (where it would be too easy for him to get dehydrated even with the Gatorade handy).
I guess you can never guarantee that you won't have problems, you just have to use common sense. I think the biggest thing is to know the difference between pain and sore. Exercise can leave you very sore, but real pain is a sign that something's going wrong. For most people "no pain, no gain," is BS, if you're really hurting, you're doing something wrong.
<~~~Me Right Now
