My bf is the perfect example of sweet but dumb. Certain niceties never occur to him and my best friend is the same way. Both of them don't think to call or when they do they get so shy that they psych themselves out. He might be nervous about talking this out with you. While it is right to want respect, I think we are a group of forward thinking women...it isn't always on the guy to call. I think Faerie is right...give him a call. Heck, if you call him and work something out even if you don't end up dating you could end up with a good friend and ****buddy :P And lord knows that's a great thing to have at college. But it's better to ask and be on sure footing than to just write him off as another jerk...especially if you have such a connection.
honestly i think he's disrespectful you.
You said you made the big deal out of last time he didn't call.
And this time, you and him went to 2nd step.
Naturally, i think man should call the girl after that. (You might say i'm old fashion and stuff, but yeah, i think it's natural that man should call the girl he spent the night with if she's at least that guy's friend... >.<")
And since he KNOWS that you want him to call. Then it's perfectly clear that if he respects you enough, he has to call you.
The first time, yeah. You can say this and that and etc...
but this is the 2nd time. And it's bigger deal than a kiss last time.
And it's been a week already.
So yes, that's what i think.
But well, in reality, idk. He might be one of those that are uncomfortable with calling. But still....I don't believe that's true... If he's too shy to call the girl he's kiss and stuff....IDK....I think girl usually will be shy-er in this situation, not the guy. But i could be wrong
I wouldnt assume anything without TALKING to him. If you like him that much then he deserves the benefit of the doubt! He may not think that he's disrespected you! So I say give it a chance, something good might come of it, but either way at least you have the truth to go on!
try to call him maybe something happend you never know this is a crazy world you living in . i had a friend of my something like that happend to her she was talking to her boyfriends at 6 pm and he was killed at 8.30 pm the same night . try to see if he ok if he is you don't need that type of person in your life . yes it is very disrespectful.
I mean this is something that has haunted females since the phone was invented. I totally understand that it hurts and a lot of women think guys who do this are basta*ds but the thing is women and men are different. We get emotionally attached so much easier than men, so the fact is he's probably just not ready to commit or just doesn't realize how you feel.
This doesnt make the guy horrible, its just the difference between us sexes. The only way you're going to discover how he feels is to wait it out or ask him yourself. Have you texted him? If you havent IMO you're just as bad as he.
hm, idk. I mean, no one asks him to commit or anything.
besides, he knows that she expects him to call her. If he doesn't know then he must be quite dense since she said she made a big deal at the first time.
So unless something happens to him, then i think it's disrespectful.
Anyways, you could try to text/call him first, and ask the reason. Assumption and imagine things isn't the best thing to do right now either lol.
Unfortunately i'm going to have to go with everyone on the 'not into you' thing. It could also be that he does like you, but he doesn't want a relationship. Maybe he thinks you feel the same way -- kind of a friends with benefits and no obligation thing.
Also, have you thought about why you like him? Be honest with yourself -- is it really him, or do you just like the thrill of the chase? *Waggles eyebrows* I know i've been guilty of that a lot in the past, and i've lamented to my friends for months over supposed "unrequited love" only to have the guy start to pay attention to me and then I lose interest two days later. LoL.
in my opinion i had this happen with 1 of my guy friends and yet it still goes on but ive learned that if i can have a relationship thats fine as long as i have him as my friend im k with it. i think u should use it to ur advantage AND MAKE HIM UR BOOTY CALL PERSAY LOL, (sry 4 the caps) u should read the book y men love b****** by Sherry Argov u would learn alot.
Typical of us girls is to look so far into something that most guys don't even think twice about. I'm sorry to say that I have to agree with the "he's just not that into you" statement and the way to deal with that is for you to not be into him. Because it's never fun letting someone into your safety zone and getting trampled in the process. Wish that statement was known back when I was in university.
Question is why do you want him to call? Do you want him to call so that you can hang out (no action)? cuz if that's so, there's nothing holding you back from calling him as a friend who wants to do something. If you want him to call so you two can talk about your feelings for each other and what you just did and why he's waited a whole week to call back..... well then you're opening yourself up to get hurt. Every woman deserves to have a man that puts her on a pedestle (and she of course cares as much for him). If he doesn't, is it worth it?
I say enjoy your time at college without the head games and move on to the next guy! Have fun!
There's actually a book called, "He's Just Not That Into You," and the writer says that, when guys are into girls, they'll call because they want to talk to you again and see you again. You're on their minds. Don't invent excuses for him. You deserve a guy who will call you. Not because he is "supposed to" but because he really wants to be in contact with you. There's a movie coming out based on the book. Next year, I think.
thanks guys for all the replies. I think judging by the response I'm going to go with, I was mildly disrespected.
Also to give a little more of the story. The night we made out and he didn't call was about 2 months ago. I was annoyed but I gave in after 2 months and texted him a week ago when we hooked up. We were both at diffrent downtown bars and he met me outside the one I was at. My neighbors were having a minor after party, so I was like lets go chill at my neighbors place (which we did for awhile). I wasn't like lets go back to my place and get freaky.
I kind of teasingly said somthing along the lines of "what, you make out with me, don't call now you want to go back to my place" and then he apologized for not calling...the calling convo lasted like 3 seconds.
Also he didn't show up to his job that day and told me he was going to quit and was kind of freaking out about having to call work and explain that he was quitting. I think he does have phone issues. But I'm not making excuses for him.
I've been really into him for awhile, something about him just drives me crazy. He's just so sincere. While we were walking back to my place he was telling me about his plans after graduation and his dreams and stuff and it was just perfect. Also a few times throughout the night, I would say something that didn't really make sense and he totally understood what I ment. Also while we were sleeping together he kept rolling over and putting an arm on me or give me a little kiss. At one point I reached for a blanket and he was like I'll keep you warm. He totally respected my boundaries and it was great. I want to freaking break a beer bottle over his head and scream we're perfect for each other, why can't you see that. But alas you can't MAKE guys fall in love with you.
Also he told a friend of mine that he's just not looking for a girlfriend. It's his senior year and he just wants to chill. I do want to date him. I feel like even if he feels this way, if he liked me enough, he'd want to date me.
I haven't liked anyone as much as I like him in awhile, but I realize that if he doesn't like me back it doesn't do me much good. If I do contact him it wont be for at least 2-3 weeks and my expectations will be low. I'll feel like hey I've got nothing to loose.
i feel like if you already know that he isnt looking for a gf, that you are just setting youself up to get hurt. i mean, you said you made out, he didnt call you so you, in turn, didnt call him or talk to him for 2 months? he probably does just think that he is your booty call, haha.
Some guys just need an extra push into the right direction...
Not that this is the same situation, but before my BF and I became 'serious' we would never go out on the weekends. Ever. For some reason, he had a hang up of giving girls that time of day. I also knew his friends to not call girls back for a few dates... its childish and dumb. But that was years ago... we're on our sixth year of dating now.
Though his friends that never called girls back, they are still single and they are all still pigs...
So... maybe test the waters and don't jump to conclusions. The only way to really find out is if you ask what his deal is.
