[KCWMU]

Okay, so this post isn't about me... I know what I need to do to lose the weight I need to lose, I'm just lazy....

My problem is my fiance.... does anyone know a good website like 3fc for men? He's 6ft tall and now weighs 290 lbs. When we moved to Texas 2 months ago he weighed 263.

I just don't know what to do to help drill it into his head that he should be sleeping 8 hours a night, shouldn't be eating all of the crap he has been.

It's just FRUSTRATING... plus it's hard for me to stay on plan when he doesn't care at all.....

I know its all about portion control, but how can I help to make him realize this. Right now he is eating 5 cupcake size meatloaf pieces.....and a salad, so he can 'pretend' to be eating healthy.

I just had to vent and if anyone has anything to help, let me know.

[BlueParade]

i went through this same thing, but it was with my dad. i got so preoccupied with making sure he was doing what he needed to lose weight that i compromised my own maintenance path.

it's very difficult to be your own coach let alone the coach of another who is losing weight and asking for help, but only listening half the time or not taking ti seriously.

it just end up taking too mcuh of a toll. i'd say concentrate on your own path and hopefully he will follow. i ahd to sit my dad down and essentially "break up" with his fitness journey. it sucked because i wanted to be hig guide and support him, but i couldn't let it deter or hinder my own progress....

hope that helps somewhat.....you just ahve to try and let it go.....

[KLK]

My fiance has also gained a bit of weight in the last year. His problem is that he works nights and thus sleeps til 12 or 1PM some days and then has to be at work by 4:30 or so. He needs to MOVE MOVE MOVE. His eating is okay, but he is 100% immobile all morning and early afternoon and he's getting hefty (he's also getting a bit of man-boobage, which he's never had before... eek!).

I try to motivate him to go to bed as soon as possible when he gets home around 11PM so that he can wake up by 9:30 and have time to go to the gym or go jogging. I nag him about it, I reason with him, I exercise like crazy and always invite him to join me. But no, he stays up playing his PSP until 2:30 or 3AM and then he's a dead person until noon and then the day is shot. Ugh! I keep telling him that he only has like 15-20lbs to lose and that it's much easier for me to lose weight and build muscle than women, so even a tiny effort on his part would probably make a difference. But: nothing. I tell him to workout for 20 - 30 mins, three times a week (1.5 hrs A WEEK!), that even that little is better than nothing and he still doesnt do it.

Luckily, he doesn't try to knock me off my diet or anything, but still... I worry he will get fat and unhealthy.

Good topic -- I'd love to hear what others can suggest too!

[KCWMU]

That is my problem with my fiancee.... he doesn't always work nights, he just doesn't sleep at night..... he falls asleep at like 3 or 4 am and then gets up between 9 and 11..... NOT healthy.......

[KLK]

KC -- I'm starting to think there's really nothing we can do about our fiances, except to stay active ourselves, eat healthily, and hope it rubs off on them eventually.

My fiance is a person who has NEVER had a weight problem, has always been thin and really fit, and never had to work at being that way while living in Europe. Now in the US, life is different, food is different, and he thinks he can just coast by like he did in Albania and Italy and he'll stay thin. Uhh... not gonna happen, my friend. For someone who is 25 years old, who was always active in sports his whole life, 20-30 mins of exercise a few times a week is NOT asking much. Everytime his family sees him, they inevitably comment on how fat he's gotten since the last time they saw him (he's not really FAT yet, but compared to them and compared to how he used to be, he is).

Maybe when my fiance gets to the point where he has full-on man-breasts that jiggle when he moves, he will finally see that he really did let himself go and that he could have turned it all around at 15-20lbs overweight rather than 50+lbs over with just the slighest little effort to exercise and mov a little.

[prepping]

Originally Posted by KLK

KC -- I'm starting to think there's really nothing we can do about our fiances, except to stay active ourselves, eat healthily, and hope it rubs off on them eventually.

What she said.
Seriously, I did all I could to get my fiance to get on board for eating healthy and exercising and was met with subdued resistence at every turn. Sure he was supportive and listened when I spoke but never actually did anything about his habits. It was very very frustrating so I know what you're going through because it makes what you are doing all the harder! I ended up giving up on telling him anything and just went about my own business because I felt it was going on dead ears anyway.

Then the weird thing happened.... he started packing a lunch... then he started putting fruits and vegetables in for snacks... then started to look at the nutritional value on labels... before I knew it, he was giving me talks about why he should do this and that (which remakably resembled what I had been telling him from before). And on top of that, he's now made it routine to jump on the treadmill as soon as he gets home every day.

From what I understand of the male mind based on this experience is that men hate following a diet structure that tells them what they can and can't eat. BUT, by seeing what you are doing and the choices that you're making, it'll naturally start wearing off on them where they'll just start eating smarter -- because they're not being specifically told to. And as for the activity, to be honest I'm still not sure where that came from. Just one day he decided that he was going to start getting rid of the chub -- but it was his decision.

Sorry this involved a bit of rambling, and I don't know if it'll work in every situation, but taking a step back is what worked for us. (And it probably didn't hurt the relationship either!)

Good luck and don't forget that YOU are priority. Don't lose focus on yourself. It'll work out one way or another.