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Old 06-16-2008, 05:18 PM   #16  
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Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I would further guess that his poor social skills, "strangeness," and inappropriate "thinking out loud" might even be symptoms of something like Asperger's syndrome. A high-level autism, in which a person just doesn't understand the normal rules of social interaction. A person with Asperger's can be incredibly intelligent, and yet completely unable to understand and follow the social rules and standards most people take for granted.

He's unfortunately, not just being rude and thinking it's funny (that's another guy in this circle of friends), he just doesn't understand the distinction between thoughts that should be better left unsaid. He does know that he doesn't "get it" and that stuff he says often makes people angry, but he doesn't understand why it makes people angry, so most of the time he says nothing at all (but when he does speak, man is it usually a doozy).
Exactly what I was thinking. My son has mild Asperger's. You might not guess that there was anything wrong with him, or you might think he's is just a bit odd if you spend time with him. While he is a very kind, loving person, he sometimes says inappropriate things. I never know whether to attribute it to being a teenage boy or to the Asperger's. He has never had a date and high school at times was very challenging.

Just as bad as it is to call people "fat", I've always felt it cruel when people call him "weirdo" and stuff like that. Obviously we've corrected him when he's said somthing that sounds rude, but he still comes up with some zingers sometimes.

Last edited by murphmitch; 06-16-2008 at 05:20 PM.
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Old 06-16-2008, 05:25 PM   #17  
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"Fat" is only a negative word if the person using it is negative. I think the guy who said it sounded more disappointed than negative, so he might be into the larger ladies. Why else would the thought have occurred to him?

Just a thought

I kind of agree here.

My husband likes fat chicks and married me at 300 pounds... we've worked it through now but for a while it was shakey....

FAT is not a negative word in my book. I wear my FAT status proudly.
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Old 06-16-2008, 07:23 PM   #18  
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As a couple of other people pointed out, this guy probably wouldn't have intended you to hear what he said - your other friend passed it on. Probably both of them in fact saw it as a compliment - that you've lost a lot of weight - and this is why the guy you know thought you would like to hear it.

That said, he does sound a bit weird. I wouldn't worry any more about him, just be proud of how well you've clearly done.
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Old 06-17-2008, 02:58 AM   #19  
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Not working with many women, men often forget that we have completely different ideas about what is funny, and what is offensive. A lot of the joking around I grew up with around my brothers was the same way, and could be taken as very offensive if someone didn't know it was a joke. He probably wasn't trying to be mean, and maybe thought you would get a kick out of the joke. If he mentions it again, just let him know you aren't mad, but it bothered you and ask him not to do it again.
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Old 06-17-2008, 07:07 PM   #20  
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I agree. Men engage in doublespeak - they talk about things one way when their audience is male, a different way when women are around. Think locker room talk.

That said, it's a pretty sorry attempt at a joke, if that's what it was.
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