[Louhi]

Hi everybody!
I´ve been a very bad girl and I really need to tell somebody about this.
So, here´s the thing.. in the past couple of weeks I have repeatedly let myself go off my dieting program. I´ve just let myself go to the "I don´t care about what I eat" -mood and in these occasions I have eaten pretty much EVERYTHING I can think of and get my hands to. For example, on Sunday evening I bought and ate a huge pile of candies and chocolate, and I also went to McDonalds to eat a veggie burger and a McFlurry!! My weight hasn´t gone up, but it certainly hasn`t gone down either. I have successfully and very strictly dieted to this moment for about 5 months, I still have some dieting to do, but something is obviously wrong here. I do have the motivation, but when I get those weak moments, it feels like nothing can stop me from eating. Now I´m terrified that I will give up and slip back to my old eating habits, and gain weight.

Do any of you have mantras etc. that you have found useful in those weak moments, when you´re just about to go out and buy ALL of your favourite foods and eat them?? I could really use one.. or two for that matter.. All advices are welcomed and appreciated! I feel that right now I´m in a place where there´s two ways I can go; either continue dieting or give it up. Goddess knows I don`t want to stop this, but I can´t handle the fact that I let myself slip so often and so badly.
Last autumn, a week before I started dieting, I wrote myself a letter concerning my weight. I wrote the letter to convince myself that I HAVE to diet, because I`m just not happy being fat (which I have always been). I listed all the things that were going to be difficult to deal with while dieting, but I also listed positive things that would come alongside the weight loss. I really feel that this letter helped me, and I´ve been thinking that maybe I should write myself a new letter to get some motivation or something.
Okay, thanks for reading this and sharing my pain and *****ing.. I would LOVE to hear about other dieters, that have first lost weight successfully and then after a while have found it difficult to keep on dieting.

I feel so much better now..

Jen

202/163/143

[tonic]

Grrr.. sometimes this mission to lose weight makes me so angry. I get so angry that I ask myself why the **** am I putting myself through this torture??? Why can't I eat the stuff that I *love*. Its not fair!!

So thats sorta how I feel somedays.. and its those days that spin me into the binge eating that you have described.

So the way I get around potentially weak moments... is I bargin with myself. I say "I can have one brownie if I exercise today" or "I can have one brownie if its only one.." or "i can have that brownie after I workout". If I make these deals with myself.. I either 1) only have one brownie.. and its not so bad 2) have one brownie and workout.. and balance the two 3) workout and feel so good that I dont want the brownie anymore.

Maybe for your sanity you need to go off your diet. But instead of buying ALL your favorite foods.. maybe just buy one. If you want icecream.. just get one ice cream cone and not a whole container. Then get back on plan as soon as you are done.

I dunno.. I am in one of those moods this week.. I am really stressed out.. and I really don't want to have to worry about what I eat.. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[shiver]

This may or may not apply to you, but I know that I've recently realized why I have all of a sudden stopped 'caring' in the past. I came to the realization a while ago that I was sabotaging myself, and that it had something to do with fear. I'm currently thinner than I've been in years, and I could never figure out why I all of a sudden give up when I'm doing well, when I want so badly to be thin. I've decided that for me, I'm afraid of the attention that comes along with losing weight. I've been quite overweight since I was about 11, so I've never had the experience with male attention that other's have had, and now at 20 when I'm starting to get it, I don't know how to deal with it. So in order to not deal with this feeling, I would eat, gain weight, and not have to worry about it. Anyways, I just thought I'd share my personal connection to this problem. I hope you figure out what's causing it for you.

One other thing: you said that you've been strictly dieting. Maybe ease up a bit? There's nothing wrong with having a treat every once in a while!

[lacia]

Hi Jen,

It sounds like this is something we all have problems with. I know I've been feeling the yo-yo effect of motivation these past few weeks. I notice that if I am very strict with myself, I'll feel deprived and will end up binging later.

I don't know that I have any good mantras, but I try to tell myself that I love my body and that I want to stop hurting it. I want so badly to be thinner and it's not that hard to lose the weight - I just have to do it!!! I try to think about how I want to stop feeling guilty and bad about myself. I have the power to do it - I can make myself feel better - so stop eating the cookies!

I like your idea about writing yourself a letter - I might try something similar.

[echristo]

I am so glad I logged on today and check your post. I thought I was the only one that was feeling this way. I have a history of binge eating. Although I've never been extremely over weight, 25 pounds can still be horrifying. I reached my goal weight and it seems like I am still not satisfied with my body. It was not an easy feat to get where I am and I know that I should be proud that I have gotten this far. It just seems that I can't ever be satisfied!

Lately I have been allowing myself a little of this and a little of that, just so that I do not go crazy restricting myself. But more recently I have been eating so much and so horribly that I just feel so run down by it. I literally ate all day for three days. I dont even want to tell you how much I ate but I know I easily ingested about 5000 calories! Now that I think about it, it sort of makes me sick. I know the reason that I binged like that was because I am still unhappy with myself and I am unhappy in the relationship that I am in and that just caused this massive breakdown in any rationality that I had. (FYI: It's not him, it's me)

But now that that eating spree is over and I am still recouperating from it, I am starting to realize that I cannot allow myself to treat my body like that ever again. I really had made myself sick! I am not sure if it is normal to binge like that but as in everything in life...healthful eating is a learning process and you are allowed to make mistakes along the way. DON'T BE DISCOURAGED by mistakes you make. Just learn from them!

The next time you feel like putting something in your mouth just for the sake of eating, drink a glass of water and call a friend or go for a walk. Sometimes deep breathing can help. Try to focus on what you are feeling at the moment rather than occupying your mind with what you can put in your mouth.

I think I need to take my own advice! Feel free to send me a personal message if you'd like to chat. I hope you are doing better! Keep us posted with your progress.

Eleni

[Louhi]

Thanks for the replies everybody!
I`m not sure what I`m going to do right now.. Should I go off my diet and try to continue later in the spring, or what?? A break could do me good, but I`d still have to watch myself so that I wouldn`t start eating the wrong way. I just don`t know.. I have to think about this.. sigh ..

Jenni

[echristo]

Jenni,

What I think would be really helpful to you is to maybe to consult a professional about an eating plan. Whatever you do don't think of yourself as being on a diet. Try to think of yourself as moving towards eating healthfully. When you are about to make something to eat try to think about it first. Personally I know if I sit down and eat a plate of pasta I am tired, sluggish and very full. If I eat a peice of grilled chicken and salad I feel better than if I ate the pasta. The best advice I can give you is to make little changes in your diet every week. One of the first things that I would make sure you do is eat breakfast. Even if you aren't hungry when you get up...eat anyway. Eventually you will be hungry when you wake up...I know I am starving when I get up in the morning. This will help make sure that you're eating enough to fuel your metabolism. If you dont eat enough, you will slow your metabolismand it will be harder to lose weight. Another important thing is to make sure that you are drinking enough water. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. (Visit this site for some more details about the benefits of drinking water http://www.myramichaels.com/water.htm) Aim to drink your body weight in ounces. (if you are 150 lbs. drink 150 ounces) After you are drinking enough water, try to add more fruits and veggies to your diet each day. If you currently eat none try to get two servings into each day and work your way up to 5. Also, pay attention to your body. Eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full! Don't overeat....this is the hardest thing and I still myself have not mastered it. If you change small things each week, eventually you will be eating better, feeling better, losing weight and you won't feel as crazed about. When you uphaul your diet and restrict yourself of everything you will be burnt out and probably fall off your diet. I know if I say I can't have this or I cant have that I will just burst and eat everything in site. I wish you good luck and I have faith that you can do it.

I know that was probably a little more info than you asked for but I hope you find some of it useful.

Eleni

[Louhi]

Howdy y´all!

I´ve come to a decision (yay! ) which is that as Goddess is my witness (I almost typed fitness.. ) I am going to keep on dieting and I am NOT going to dwell upon my slips! I´m going to be successful and I`m going to feel light and good and happy! ´
I´ve got a lot of goings going on!!
This decision was actually quite easy to make in the end. I´ve been binge-eating for about a week now and I´ve felt how my body has just started to gain weight. I weighed myself today, the reading wasn`t pretty I can tell you that! But I am motived again and I hope that I have learned something from this slip.. I´m trying to figure out what causes my binging and my occasional "I don´t care" -moods.

Eleni - Thanks for your advice! For me the biggest problem in dieting is to eat when I´m actually hungry. It is so difficult to try and listen to your body when you´re used to eating whenever you feel like it. I like veggies (I´m a vegetarian actually) and fruits, I drink tons of water and I eat regularly - so there´s no problem there. I just need to stay motivated and that will help me to avoid binge-eating. You sound like my friend when you say that I shouldn`t think that I´m on a diet at all! And I think you`re right, diet sounds and feels like something that´s temporary and I really need to make this a lifelong thing. My friend also told me to not diet too strictly, because that will increase the risk of slipping and binging. Maybe I should eat, for example, 5 extra WW points once a week..?
And thank you so much for your support! You have no idea how much that means to me!

Monique - You wrote that you`re either on the plan or off the plan, and I just realized that it`s completely the same with me! For me it just isn`t possible to try be off the program and not eat everything! This means that I can´t really take breaks from dieting because I will start to gain back ammeadiately. But obviously I can´t be on a diet for my whole life, so while I´m dieting I absolutely have to learn to eat right and make it a lifestyle.
Dieting is a *****, but so is being fat! Let´s put up with the other to get rid of the other! We can do this! In case you`re wondering, I´m not on speed.. I guess I got some extra getting-on-the-program-again -energy..

Jenni

[Louhi]

FYI:
The word you´re trying to make out from my last message is, of course, IMMEDIATELY and not AMMEADIATELY. I tried to change to message, but couldn`t do it.. Damn my poor computer-skills! What the **** is "ammeadiately" anyway..?! Maybe I AM on speed!

Jenni

[echristo]

Jenni,

You are welcome! I guess I jumped the gun and assumed what your dieting needs were. I suppose they were a reflection of my own. I am really glad that you have decided not to put your goals aside and continuing pursuing what you want. That take a lot of strength and perserverence! I really admire you for that.

Good Luck! Keep posting...I would love to know how you are progressing.

Eleni