Never been thin
 

I see all these posts about a goal piece of clothing, my problem is I haven't been slim since I was 5, and I don't think anything from back then will fit me now. It's tough for me to picture myself as anything but fat because I have been fat for as long as I remember. Anyone else have this same issue?

Yeah, I agree.
My clothing goals are simple....buy new jeans in a smaller size.

Agreed--- I was a 100 pound 2nd grader!!! (I know that for a fact b/c my teacher made me get on a scale in front of the whole class... some things you dont' forget)

Yeah, I don't have goals to be "super skinny" or even "thin". I know that I got down to a small size 14 at one point and was very happy. Still not thin by any means. But healthier. And if I get there and want to keep going, I will... we'll see what the future has in store for me. Maybe "thin" is in my future--- I'm on my own, new live, new rules--- maybe thin is a possibility now that I'm living by my own rules, and not that of a school or a parent... you know?

i'm the same. the thinnest i ever was was at 165. i just plan on buying a cute outfit in a smaller size to celebrate when i lose the weight.

brandnewjen, i just saw your post, and it brought back memories. In 5th grade my teacher made our class weigh themselves, and I was one of the heaviest at 125 pounds(i was 5'3). all the other girls weighed like 98-105 pounds. it was depressing.

I remember in middle school sometime, we had a health day and had to get on the scale (and also get our ears and eyes checked and stuff). The guy weighing me was awful and didn't even wait to see where the weights on the bar slider thing (one of those old fashioned scales) balanced, I got on the scale, he pushed the weight around, and told me I weighed 200. :/

In retrospect I know it was pretty impossible for that to be true... I didn't go over 200 til the end of high school. But it sure was embarassing then to hear that.

Anyway, yeah, I've never been thin either... It will be very interesting to see what it's like! I'm aiming for a pretty average weight... I see people come into the forums with start weights that are the same as my goal weight! :lol: Ah well, I'll just have to see what happens when I get there...

I almost cried reading about your childhood memory of being weighed in front of the class. It is so sad that teachers would let that happen to any child.

I was pretty small before I had kids, but that has been a long time ago and people would laugh at me if I tried to wear those clother from 10+ years ago...can you say tie dyed shirts and tight leg jeans. :o

I was really, really slim when i was in grade , age 8 I guess. In Grade 6 I was at this height, more or less, and had a distinct tummy. I was a size 5 then, which doesn't sound at all bad now but I was overweight for my age. I was at my heaviest in Grade 9 - you can see I was heaver in my face. I'm a bit less now, maybe 10 pounds - I was depresed then :)

I essentially want to weigh now what I did when I was 12.

yeah, as sad as the story was about getting weighed in front of the class (it was "learn the scale" day... she weighed everyone and only when it was MY turn did she realize that she was reading them off in KG, not LBS... so not only did she say "Jen is 100 kg", she followed it up with "oh wait, oh goodness... no no... Jen is 100 POUNDS. Kids, it's 100 POUNDS. I've been saying it wrong" Stupid idiot!

Anyhow--- as sad as that story is, the story of how I told my mom that night and she got SO ANGRY (she's a big lady too) that she went to the school the next day, broke down in tears in front of the principal, and then confronted the teacher. The sad story is balanced by the AWESOME and funny story of how my mom busted into that classroom after school let out and "the teacher was literally using her desk as a barrier between us" b/c she could see how FURIOUS my mom was. As she says, "I really could have KILLED her that day. She's lucky that desk was there!"

:lol: For every bad, there's a good. Right? :)

Glad to see I'm not the only one! I remember having to get on the scale in front of everyone in my PE class in high school, I wasn't the heaviest but I was darn close.

*waves hands around in air* I'm part of that "never been thin" club!!!

I was 95 lbs at age 5. I was actually proud of this at the time, because I was the biggest kid in kindergarden! :lol: Mostly because I was at least an inch taller than everyone... funny how perspective can change everything ^^

I don't remember getting myself weighed too often. Yearly, perhaps, at annual doctor's visits. I was between 180 & 200 for much of Junior High. And I was over 200 for the start of highschool. I was about 250 + when I began college. And now I'm 250ish again, and working my way (weigh hee hee) back down again.

Just like many ladies here, I've always been "Plus".

I cannot buy something at goal size, because... I have NO clue what my goal size will be. I'm clueless! (Which is exciting... like a mystery I'm going to solve over time ^^) So what I've been doing, is buying just one pair of pants just one size too small. I'm pretty sure that I'm not meant to be a size 22 at 150 lbs so, I have a size 20 pair in my room, and every once in a while I'll be putting them on to see how far I can get them up, or if I can zip them up (weeee ^^).

It's fun sitting here & wondering a bit about what my REAL size is. :)

Oh boy, sorry... I could go on all day talking about how exciting it will be to finally have an answer to this riddle :D

I think it was in 4th grade that I read an article in some women's magazine about the perfect weight for your height, and they were talking about one of the actresses on Melrose Place and saying how she was perfect at 5'7" and 120 lbs. For some reason that number stuck in my head. We had a scale in the bathroom and I would weight myself every day first thing, and the week that I passed that mark was really, really hard for me.

We also had a class weigh-in. My teacher was kind enough to let us write the weight down on a piece of paper so that it was kept private. I was so relieved, but then the next week we had another class activity of taking each other's waist measurments and then calling them out. Mine was the largest :(

Sometimes I think back, and though I'm not really happy that I was overweight growing up I still think it helped form my character in some positive ways. I'm also glad I don't have the whole "I was 125 in high school, why can't I be that thin again / How did I let myself get this large?" guilt thing I see so many people struggle with. At this point, I'm the thinnest I've been since junior high, so every lower weight is an accomplishment.

I have similar feelings about it. I have this "wide eyes of a child" discovery thing going on. I didn't realize my body could do these things or look this good. It's all BRAND NEW.

Mystery Size
 

I could solve the mystery for you but I won't ruin your surpise...it's a good one! I used to be it....sometime in High School. I'm aiming for it again. I will definitely consider myself thin if I can get to 150.

I work at a very "fit" company. I've said this before on another thread. They exercise on their lunch breaks while I eat. Last year, we had a guy come from a local gym to do our body mass index or something...so bad with technical terms. I finally decided I would do it because he wasn't telling the results, he was showing the employee and moving to the next without revealing it to everyone else in the room. So I get up the nerve and I'm one of the last people. I get my result and I'm looking to see it on the chart so I know what the number means...and he says, "Oh, it's not on there. The page cut off. It's considered obese."

I know it was recent and not a traumatic childhood thing...but all the skinny, exercising employees I work with who were in the room got to know that I was considered obese. Thanks for that, Mr. Gym Guy. I'm still not joining.

I'm sorry, the first part was directed at Faerie...I just realized I was being vague with the whole jean size things. Lol.

lol! yes, please don't ruin the surprise!! :D Shhh it's a big secret. Hee hee

Same here. I have no idea what my target weight should be. The good side of this is probably that I don't feel like I have to live up to some kind of expectancy about "I want to be a size 2 again, like when I was younger", which may be something impossible to reach for many of us anyway.

Kery - Wow! You're almost at your goal! Congrats!

Yeah, I love surprises and some things are best discovered on your own.

Yeah, well... I'll be at goal the day I stop bingeing my way up a few pounds, then back to current weight, then... You get the picture. :rolleyes: (But I'm not giving up!)

Is that why it's so much easier to stay fat? If you don't have a time when you were skinny to compare..you just don't know how great it is!

I've been fat forever, one of those 101lb 2nd graders. I don't remember being skinny, I saw baby pictures--I was a string bean at 3..then just ballooned. I've always been fat, so it doesn't seem odd to me.

The thought of being really skinny seems odd. I'm starting to think that is what is wrong with my weight loss. I've lived with fat for 23 years, so what's a month longer..lets eat a cupcake!

How to get over the "fat" mentality is the question...hmmm.

I think it's so much easier for people who were once skinny and then gained weight to lose it, they know how good they looked before and have something to compare it to.

Wow, I never thought of it that way before. I've been there, I know what I'll look like if I can get back to it. I know that the way I look now is not acceptable. But if I never had the "smaller" image in my head, I wonder if I would be more motivated to find out or more comfortable with my body at a higher weight. Good point.....I watch Biggest Loser. It's the first time I've ever watched it and there's a girl on there that started gaining weight at an early age...I think age five. Though she never put it together before, on the show she was helped to realize that at age five, her parents split up. She replaced the void in her life...the empty feeling...with food. If there's something like that going on in your life and you can come to terms with it, they said you're more likely to have life-long success with your weight-loss. Just something else I thought was kind of thought-provoking.

yeah, I had TONS of family/life issues in my short 23 years...I always wondered if my weight issues were caused by that, but still haven't been brought to terms with that the issue is.

I used to think it was my mom, wanting me to be fat because she is. She is jealous of my weight loss now..and I live with her right now. hmmmm

yes, lots to think about.

I also, have never been skinny. I went from "Pretty plus" (Plus girls clothes at JC Penny) to maybe a 13 in juniors, and then like a 16 in ladies when I was in middle school. In high school I was strictly womens sizes. As an adult, this is the smallest I have ever been - actually just a size smaller than I was when I graduated from HS. I am looking forward to knowing what I look like "underneath" and what it FEELS like. Other people can see my weight loss but I can't yet, so I am hoping that in another 15-20 lbs I will be able to see it. Who knows? I am just excited to find out what size I will be too! I know that 140 (my goal) seems high for some people at my height, but heck, I'd be thrilled!

I'll Be Hot - That's definitley something you should think about. I mean, what if she did it unintentionally...like, subconsiously, because she was afraid you'd leave her or something. Like, some parents try to live through their children, some parents are jealous when their children achieve what they didn't, some fear their children leaving them. You never know. Not to say it really IS any of those things but definitely something to consider as the voice in your head says, "What's one more month?" Who does the voice belong to?

I am one of you too!!!! I have not been thin since I was 5. I remember in 4th grade we had to make a child information card incase we were ever kidnapped or whatever. It had our picture and stats on it. I remember begging my mom to put 97 lbs because I was ashamed to be over 100. I had SO much shame. It didn't help that my mom has always weighed <100.

I went to a hypnotist and we did a lot of soul searching. It brought back a lot of memories. When I was 5 I lost both grandparents. My mom was put on tranquilizers and basically disappeared for 6 months. My dad has no clue how to deal w/ kids so whenever I'd cry or get upset or hungry he'd give me Cocoa Puffs. Needless to say, that is still my comfort food of choice.

The hypnotist thinks that until I deal with those issues that weight will always be a big issue for me.

God, I hope they they don't still weigh kids in front of the whole class...how traumatizing.

Hey, I'm 5'4'' and aiming for 140 too! I think I was about 150 when I reached my full height at the age of 12, so that would be the lower than I've ever been at this height. I looked really fat and awful at that age, the pictures are pretty embarrassing, but I was pretty much completely sedentary so I figure with the exercise and healthy eating I'll look pretty slammin' at 140 if (oops! I mean when) I get there. ****, I think I look better now than when I was 12.

I don't remember what weight I was in high school (blocking it out) and I know I didn't weigh myself while in college. I do remember renewing my passport just after college and the 280 I put on the application was a lie (and has been ever since). I would guess that I was probably pretty close to the 200 mark in high school as well.

i was a fat kid. i was a chubby pre-teen. then i became very aware of how fat i was and very ashamed of it. i began working out and dieting. i weighed about 125 pounds through high school. but it wasn't easy and it wasn't natural. i starved myself and worked out hours a day.

for me to weigh 125 pounds i have to be near fainting at all times. i just don't understand how people the same height as me can weigh 125-130 without being near death all the time. so weird. i don't even LOOK good at that weight...i'm one of the girls you would see and be like, "yeah she looks HUNGRY." haha

so i have been thin. i've had eating disorders. i've been fat. then thin then fat again. now my goal isn't to be thin. it's just to be healthy. for me to be what society considers thin? that's a full time job. i'm just not into it.

I had never been thin- ever. That is, until now (depending on what one's definition of "thin" is). And lemme tell ya it is strange. It has taken me about 6mos to figure out my "set-point" or "normal" weight (which is 127-132 any higher I feel flubby any lower and it is impossible to maintain).
But, whew is it ever better. I mean I still have all sorts of insecurities but life is so much easier. Clothes, restroom stalls, airplane seats, moving in tight spaces, interacting with guys, etc. you name it.
I'm still wrapping my head round it, but I am slowly identifying and "bonding" with the new me. The new identity of Charlotte as not the fat girl anymore.
I'm liking it. :)

There was an article a little while back about kids getting fatter when they start school. I wish I could remember what it was about, but I just remember thinking that was totally me. In kindergarten I was normal sized (maybe a little larger) and then 1st grade hit and I ballooned. I wish I was at home cause I'd post the pictures. I tell people I looked like Bobby Hill (from the king of the hill cartoon) just with really long, permed hair when I was six. :lol: I am not exaggerating. From then, my awkward phase lasted until I was about 17 and lost a little weight and started feeling better about myself.

My dad's girl friend brought out pictures from my brothers wedding when I was about 9 or 10, and its so embarassing and horrible. I think most kids are cute, but even my family laughs at how I looked then. It didn't help that I developed acne and man-boobs at 9. It was really torture being in my skin then, I think especially because no other kids my age understood.

For me, the school weigh-ins were bad, but I remember being tormented for things like.. physical fitness tests, or bringing "diet" food in for my lunch. Kids are horrible sometimes.

Anyway, I'm totally rambling but as a person who's never in my adult life been smaller than a size 16 (maybe for a day or two when I bought those skinny jeans) I thought I'd add my experiences.

I think for me, its more of an issue because weight and food and working out have been things I have thought about Every Single Day since I can remember. Thats, what, about 18 years at least? It's never been ok or comfortable in the sense that I was perfectly happy with myself, but obviously if I've been this way for so long I have been TOO comfortable to change it for any substantial amount of time.

I think people who are thin and gain weight don't have that looming over their heads the same way.

I've always been in the 12/14/16 range since like....mmm...I'd say 8th grade (so when I was 11) -- I CANT WAIT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE ONE NUMBER IN MY PANTS SIZE!! WOOOOOOOO!!

Also, the idea of being able to, if a pair of pants/skirt doesn't fit, just GO UP A SIZE in the store is amazing. I've never shopped at "plus-sized" stores, I've just always been content with only owning 1-2 pairs of jeans!! haha.

Now that I'm wearing 12s (a little snug when I bought them, but fit perfectly after about 4-5 wears), I'm realizing that an 8 is only 2 SIZES away and that a 6 (my ultimate goal) is only 3 sizes away. It feels really close, but so so so far at the same time!

I was a normal size kid until about 8 years old. I didn't really look fat...but a little chubby compared to some of the other kids. I really started gaining in middle school. It was hard because all my friends were wearing the "cool" jeans and I HAD to have them as well. The only problem is I could barely stuff my fat self into the size 13. It was so embarrassing because I couldn't get a bigger size. So I would take the size 13, try it on, and of course my mom would want to see. I remember not being able to button them. I started wearing only baggy shirts so I could still have the jeans and no one would notice I was busting out of them at the top.

Its hard to say where the problems started for me. We did move away when I was 7...so that is probably a big part. My mom also was struggling with eating disorders. I can remember many times when she would feed us whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it because she really wanted it herself. I look back and its kind of sick. I remember eating at McDonald's and she would NEVER eat anything...just a HUGE diet coke and watch us eat. She would always say she is not hungry. I just remember the disgust on her face when I couldn't wear certain clothes. It made me feel even worse about my size. I never knew what size I really was since I MADE 13's fit until one summer when I needed to buy shorts for a vacation. I didn't want shorts but who wears jeans in San Diego in the middle of July? That is when I found out I was a 16...and only 14 years old. I didn't feel too bad in the shorts until we got to my family's house and my Uncle's new girlfriend was kind enough to tell me I should really consider working out. Thanks for the tip! I didn't want to leave the house after that! I think that was the last time I ever wore shorts. I was about 160lbs then.

I also was a victim of the whole school gym weigh in. During orientation, we all had to line up and get weighed in and they weren't discreet with your numbers. How embarrassing. Especially since we had to line up alphabetically and my crush was right behind me. They really need to stop doing that.

Anyone too embarrassed to eat at school? I think that is part of the weight gain in high school for me. I never wanted to eat at school. I felt extremely self-conscious about it. So after school, I would be SO hungry I probably ate about 2,000 calories when I got home. Plus dinner, snacks, or whatever else I felt I needed.

Oh wow...just reading everyone's replies makes me feel so much...I don't know...I never really thought anyone else knew exactly what I've been through by just being overweight. But, everything everyone's written I can relate to in some way.

It's hard to be fat. I weighed 130 lbs. in 3rd grade, and was a tight size 16 in 6th grade. I'm having a hard time believing that I'll ever be able to shop somewhere besides in the plus size section.

I remember when I was alot younger when I'd go shopping with my Mom, who was thankfully VERY supportive no matter what my size, we'd pretend that we were shopping for her, because I was so embarrassed to be shopping in the women's section at such a young age. If I liked something I'd be like "what do you think about this Mom?" and she'd pick it up, and carry it to the dressing room where I tried it on...

GurlyGrl: I'm with you on the eating thing, not so much in high school, but now. If I'm out with people, no matter how hungry I am I only let myself eat as much as everyone else. I feel like I don't 'deserve' to eat like everyone else because I'm so overweight....

Sheesh...I need to work on some issues on this journey.

I can't wait to be surprised, either!! :D

Artsnsmarts: I'm 5'9" and I know being between 145 and 155 are healthy for my height. I see you also are 5'9" and have a goal of being a size 6. Is that possible? I remember being an 8 backin the day but for some reason, I thought fitting into a 6 was for people in their 120s...I could be way off so I had to ask to see where you got that number (6) from.

Wow...this is a good thread. I have also been overweight pretty much my adolescent life. My mom kept this piece of paper that I wrote on about my daily chores and the exercises I was going to do that day...I was 7. So, I know I was thinking about needing to lose weight. I remember in 4th or 5th grade being weighed and I was a little over 150lbs. There was one other girl around that weight and I felt very relieved that I wasn't the only one. In highschool, around my senior year, I remember being 190. I told someone that when I reach 200 I'm going on diet. So, yes, I totally understand the way it can be to not have a picture in my head of what I will look like when I'm smaller. However, I was lucky enough to be very popular in school. I was a cheerleader for 2 years and I was also a homecoming maid for 2 years. So, being overweight did not affect me in the ways that other people have been affected.

I'm in the same boat. But I DO have a goal piece of clothing: a pair of jean shorts I wore when I was around 9 and about 145 lbs. I STILL have them, they are still in good condition.

Isn't it weird and kinda comforting finding gals who went through the same stuff you did? I was actually a little bitty thing when I was really young. Then my mama got with my stepfather when I was 8, I grew depressed, and started to gain weight. You can actually SEE my weight going up in school pictures! I was extremely depressed and suicidual up till very recently. I had/have a hard time making friends and being in crowds.

Kara ~ That's how I got my rep as a nerd. I used to hide in the library and read instead of going to lunch....or ANY school functions. I became good friends with my school librarians so I could always have a getaway. They would write my teachers notes, saying they needed my help when my class had a sub or I was done with all my work and just couldn't stay in the classroom anymore.

Wow, a lot of people have thi issue. I was suprised. I am SO looking forward to seeing all of you when you're at your goal weight! Yay!