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Old 02-11-2008, 10:49 PM   #1  
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Default Someone tell me something funny!

I'm having one of those days where nothing seems to be going right. I just feel so stressed, even though I can't pinpoint over what. Probably just PMS, but I just want to curl up in a ball and cry for a good hour! ...I should probably exercise, instead!
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Old 02-11-2008, 11:39 PM   #2  
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well normally i am a pretty funny gal..but i am not so good on the spot!! i just hope your day gets better.. i have pms as well and i just got done working out and i feel a million times better!! so don't get done cheer up
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Old 02-12-2008, 12:02 AM   #3  
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Alright here's a joke. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One cannibal looks at the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?" And now for my awful ghost joke. What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet. Umm I have a bunch of dirty jokes if that would help. just let me know. Oh oh!! Guess what happened to me yesterday. I locked myself out of my rental car while it was running. Had to call the cops to open the door. Then four hours later I did it again and I had the exact same cop unlock the door again. Awkward!! Any of this helping?

Last edited by SeekingBliss; 02-12-2008 at 12:05 AM. Reason: thought of another funny thing to say
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Old 02-12-2008, 12:20 AM   #4  
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man walks into a bar and says owwwwwww
horse walks into a bar
bartender asks why the long face?

i could find some dirty ones
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Old 02-12-2008, 12:24 AM   #5  
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A little bearskinrug might help...

Survival Instincts

see this one too

Umbrella

Get a good night's sleep. Don't think too much. Have some good music on. Meditate.

^_^ CHeers

Last edited by lbs2; 02-12-2008 at 12:30 AM. Reason: More ramblings
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Old 02-12-2008, 12:32 AM   #6  
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theres two potatoes standing on the street corner. how do you tell which one is the pros.titute?










the one with the "idaho" sticker.







(say it outloud)



feel better!
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Old 02-12-2008, 12:36 AM   #7  
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Person A: Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house?
Person B: No.
Person A: Yeah, neither did she.
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Old 02-12-2008, 01:27 AM   #8  
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Ok this is the lamest joke ever--but it's by far my favorite of all time

Q: What's green and very dangerous?












A: A Thundering herd of Pickles!





(hahaha:P) Feel better!!!

~Kat
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:58 PM   #9  
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All better guys! Thanks for the laughs... My Dad used to tell me that cannibal/clown joke and it still cracks me up!
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:30 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KendraLynn View Post
Person A: Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house?
Person B: No.
Person A: Yeah, neither did she.
I love horrid humour like this.... and i was so glad to read it at work... it made my day!
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:40 PM   #11  
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its not a joke but its something that will make you feel alot better!
1.stretch out both your arms
2. put your right on arm on your left shoulder
3. put your left arm on your right shoulder
4. now squeeze!!
thats a hug from me to you letting you know ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers to make sure you have a great day!
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Old 02-28-2008, 11:03 PM   #12  
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My favorite terrible joke is either:

A) Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. (Say it outloud.)

B) Two ions were walking down the street. The first one turns to the second and says "I think I've just lost an electron" The second asks "Are you sure?" The first replies "I'm positive."
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Old 02-28-2008, 11:53 PM   #13  
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Two sausages were in a pan. One says to the other "Geez it's getting hot in here!" The other says "AAAAAAH! A talking sausage!"

Two parrots were on a perch. One says to the other "Do you smell fish?"

What's green and has wheels.
Grass. (I lied about the wheels)

What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want, it still won't come.

Where do find a turtle with no legs?
Same place you left it.

What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs!

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The polar bear says, "I'll have a gin........................and tonic."
"OK, but why the big pause?"
The polar bear looks down, "I dunno I've always had em."

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this some kind of joke?"

A pirate walks into a bar. He's got an eye-patch, a hook, a peg leg and a steering wheel in his pants.
The bartender says, "Hey, what's with the steering wheel?"
The pirate replies, "Arrrrr it's driving me nuts."

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated Arrrrrrrrr.

Shall I go on?

Last edited by Tamaroot; 02-28-2008 at 11:55 PM.
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Old 02-29-2008, 12:01 AM   #14  
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http://www.chunkysalsa.net/screenclean.swf
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Old 02-29-2008, 12:39 AM   #15  
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Quote:
Alright here's a joke. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One cannibal looks at the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?" And now for my awful ghost joke. What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet. Umm I have a bunch of dirty jokes if that would help. just let me know. Oh oh!! Guess what happened to me yesterday. I locked myself out of my rental car while it was running. Had to call the cops to open the door. Then four hours later I did it again and I had the exact same cop unlock the door again. Awkward!! Any of this helping?



well i wasn't looking for a laugh but between the jokes and the story, you got me.

And if you're still looking, this one you have to pay $.95 for, but it's worth it if you have 20 minutes to listen to the hilarious hijinx of a cop and a squirrel:
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radi...px?episode=115
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