I work as a nurses aide at a hospital. I'm a float tech, so that means the house supervisor puts me anywhere the need is. She asked me to go to the OB unit and I said I'd never worked there but I was still 2 hands and if they really needed me I'd go. Now OB is a sterile closed unit meaning you wear there uniforms. When I got to the unit the boss had to buzz me in. She took me in back and said looks like you need 2x or a 3x, let me call and see if I can find something to fit you. I was so angry I wanted to cry so I couldn't speak or I would cry. She told me to go to dinner while they found clothes to fit me. When I left the unit I called the house supervisor which is a lady bigger than I am. She basicaly said she was sorry and in this profession people are judgemental. I said I didn't want to go back there and she said she didn't know what to tell me, and to just relax and enjoy my dinner. Basicaly 30 minutes to cool off then I had to go back there, no choice. I went back and the clothes she gave me didn't match anyone and I looked hideous. I wanted to die. Yesterday I called my boss on the phone and told her about the situation. I told her I'd been in this profession for 14 years and this has NEVER happened to me, and I hope it would never happen to one of our patients. She said that will never happen again and she will get back to me on tuesday about how this will be resolved. I still felt like ****.

I'm sorry. I know how painful and humiliating this was for you. It amazes me how thoughtless and ridiculous people can be. I'm proud of you though for speaking up and not just suffering in silence. The fact that you brought this kind of treatment to the attention of your supervisors should really make a difference in the way that others will be treated from now on.

People can be so thoughtless... I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I'm sorry, I don't understand. What size do you wear? Was it true that there wasn't clothing there that would have fit? How was she insulting? She wanted you to work, you needed clothes that would fit, by saying she would get you something to wear that insulted you?

Or was it that what she was able to find didn't match the other girls?

I worked in a place where occasionally you had to suit up in clean room attire. The extra large just barely fit me (or maybe it was 2 X) at the time. It was embarrassing to be so big, and to worry that I wouldn't be able to suit up, but that was no one's fault but mine. I had gotten that big. No one was trying to guess my size. I suppose that part might have been embarrassing, but I don't think it would have been humiliating for someone to tell me they were going to order something to fit me.

I think part of what motivated me to start losing weight was the worry about how I fit in that clean room suit. I was afraid that I was going to bust the zipper of the largest one they had! But it isn't "personal" when someone says "let's find you a size that will fit you."

Well I don't know how tall you are or anything, but I'm not much smaller than you, so knowing that I highly doubt that you'd be a 2x or 3x.

I'm sorry you had to go through that and understand why it hurt your feelings. Being in a situation like that.. the lady should have asked you your size rather than trying to guess it.

Oh, Melody, I know how humiliating that can be. I used to work at a reproductive health clinic, and there were two of us there who were really overweight and wore 2x's. Because they supplied out uniforms, once there were two of us, we needed more 2x's to fit both of us 5 days a week. When I went and asked my manager to order more 2x's rather than 1x's, she asked me why I just couldn't fit myself into a 1x. I was really mad at the time, and then got very depressed later.

I am amazed at such insensitivity and thoughtlessness. I hope your boss takes care of the situation.

Sherry, maybe it wasn't so much the actual words that Melody found insulting/humiliating ("Hold on, let me see if I can call to find something to fit you") as the tone of voice or facial expression.

The tone of voice may have said, "Da-aaaamn, we're gonna hafta look far and wide for somethin' THAT big -- you take a break, this is gonna take a while".

The facial expression may have said, "Hmmmmph, we have 3,000 outfits ready for NORMAL size people, like... me...".

There may have been a look of anger, disgust, horror, pity, you name it.

And then, having an outfit that didn't match everyone else's just put a glaring spotlight on Melody. There she is, the one that couldn't fit...

Sometimes it's not what was said as much as it is how it was said. I'll bet that's what Melody is reacting to.

Melody, I feel your pain. Why do people think they can say hurtful things to an overweight person, do they think we have lost our hearing or our feelings when we gained weight. Maybe they think we don't realize that we are fat and they are doing us a favor by telling us. People would never think of making fun of someone with a handicap, but we are fair game. Just because you have a right to free speech, doen't mean you have to exercise it. Hold you head high, and don't let it get you down.

Terina

I don't think I would have taken it as an insult at first until the moment she gave me an outfit that was obviously very different from everyone else's. Talk about standing out in a big way! I'm glad you spoke up about it, and hopefully they do have on hand sizes 2x, 3x and so on because not everyone comes in a size medium here. That's just common sense, but her behaviour was deplorable.

I wear a 1x. I went to reach for one and she said I think you look like a 2x or a 3x. Thats when I became speachless. I was so angry if I said a word I would have started crying. So I just took it. Like I told my manager I don't think this very skinny lady meant to insult me but it does need to be adressed before we ever let this happen to someone else much less how we address our patients.

Ohh I see....I would've given her a look and just proceeded to try on the 1x uniform. This is a little different, but still much the same treatment. A few years ago, I was enrolled in a deaf college and was learning ASL. A man came up to me asking me for directions to a building on campus. He was deaf as well. I proceeded, in my halting fashion at the time, to sign to him where to find it. In the middle of doing this, he interrupted me and asked me if I was hard of hearing. I said yes, and he stuck his nose up in the air and walked off. You see, because I was not completely deaf and fluent in sign, he considered himself above me so to speak. This is a small minority of deafies that act this way within the deaf community. I was so upset and almost convinced myself to not even try to learn sign. I had a rough year that freshman year because I had to deal with so many prejudices against hard of hearing in this community. But if you stick with your guns, and stand tall, you will earn respect and you will be proud of yourself for making your voice heard.

So really the thing is that this person thought you wore a bigger size than what you actually are. Probably best just to say, I think I know what size I wear thanks, and continue on. I'm a RN and I've had to search for larger size scrubs and it is embarrassing that it is such a chore to find something that fits. Seems like they've got a million scrubs in size small and medium. The male staff grab the large right away and unless you've got a couple of larger sized docs or nurses they won't have more than 1 or 2 of the extra large so it can be difficult to find scrubs. I would be interested to hear how your boss is intending to manage this, please keep us updated.

I think a little assertiveness would have solved the problem then. Like Eleanor Rosevelt said, "no one can make you feel inferiour without your permission." (or something like that). I would have reached for the right size and said to her "these will do fine" and that would have been the end of it. You let her embarrass you by not standing up for yourself. Then you let the problem become compounded by not asserting yourself. I'm sure she didn't mean to be cruel, she was just ignorant. But you had a responsibility to yourself in there too. Each of us has the right to be respected and to respect ourselves. We don't have to allow someone else to dictate to us how we feel about ourselves. She must have intimidated you in some way or else you are a naturally shy person, but you could have simply told her "I wear a 1x". The rest of all that was unneccessary and a little bit of proactive assertion on your part could have prevented it all.

I agree that this wasn't an intentional insult, even when she questioned you believing you could comfortably wear the 1X. And, while having a different uniform as everyone else would have made me feel self conscious under the circumstances too, I doubt this person thought to herself, "I'm going to make the fat lady stand out. This will be GREAT!" I mean, when I was the biggest person in the room it wasn't as if nobody was going to notice I was fat if I wore the same things they did.

So, my question is whether or not the size she brought you fit or if it was too big. If she was right and you did need the bigger size I would say no harm was done and it was more of a situation where she wasn't judging your size but just was very familiar with how their uniform sizes run. Sizes do vary by brand, after all. If what she brought you was too big and she misjudged your size (maliciously or not) then that would have been the perfect "in" to prove her wrong by insisting you get the proper fitting uniform in a 1X.

Melody,

I am sorry this happened and I know how hard it can be to respond right away to something that hurts us. Usually I am so shocked I get speechless. It is easy for other people to give opinions about what you should of done or said ....... but the bottom line is your feelings were hurt and you were insulted. I hope you do not have to deal with this at work again.