I might put a little twist on the wording instead of saying "I want to stay fat" I want to say "I will stay fat because":
I have this obsession with food. It drives to the brink at moments I can not describe. I can go at something with a wild abandon that scares me sometimes. I find myself just whipping through a bag of chips in five to ten minutes and then licking my salty fingers. It makes me so made that I let myself get to that point where nothing but nothing can stop me.
I also have a food love affair. I like all of it. I have nothing except a few odd local delicacies that I can not eat (pig livers, live (yes live) octopus) I love the smell, the size of the large portions and the textures as I chew. The only thing I hate is the stuffed sensation I get at the end where I can't move and just want to sleep.
I might put a little twist on the wording instead of saying "I want to stay fat" I want to say "I will stay fat because":
I have this obsession with food. It drives to the brink at moments I can not describe. I can go at something with a wild abandon that scares me sometimes. I find myself just whipping through a bag of chips in five to ten minutes and then licking my salty fingers. It makes me so made that I let myself get to that point where nothing but nothing can stop me.
I also have a food love affair. I like all of it. I have nothing except a few odd local delicacies that I can not eat (pig livers, live (yes live) octopus) I love the smell, the size of the large portions and the textures as I chew. The only thing I hate is the stuffed sensation I get at the end where I can't move and just want to sleep.
Both of these are soooo hard to give up.
Like an addict in a daze....................
Amen sister! That about sums it up for me. It is trying to get over that all consuming love of food that is the battle. For me it will be the inner fat child having a temper tantrum every time I say no to something I want to eat that is bad for me.
Not because I want you all to be miserable and stay overweight.
Because I know that I"M NOT ALONE.
I've tried explaining to my skinny friends that my fat is like a shell- only people who really want to get past it will try, adn they won't have ulterior motives. Of course this is a very flawed logic, and even though I know it's wrong, it feels SAFE becuase i've known it for so long.
People who aren't overweight don't understand. I could sit here and talk about having meaningless sex because I want love (which isn't the case, I'm just pulling out something I've heard a lot of) and they'll understand, but they wont understand how being fat is a defense mechanism.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. It's really helpful.
This is a really good thread. I'm scared to lose weight because I've never been skinny. I've been fat since I was a toddler.
Just the fear of not knowing what it's like scares me. I've never really been one for taking risks and jumping into the unknown.
I just don't know what my role would be if I wasn't "The Fat Girl" and that scares me. Who am I? While I'm losing weight, I'm trying to get to know and love myself. I don't want to be the fat girl. I'm moving to Florida and I finally have the chance to start over...and just be Cambri, not the fat girl, and that's what keeps me going.
1) Right now life is hard because I'm fat. That's why I can't find a job or friends, why the landlord gives me grief, why noone will talk to me at the gym, etc etc.
2) Right now men have no interest in me because I'm fat. But what if i lose weight and they still don't look at me? What if I don't even have "a pretty face"?
3) I have a very addictive personality. Before it was food (well still kind of is). Now it's anything related to losing weight/weight training. But when I'm "done", what will I do with myself?
I agree with pretty much everything everyone has said!
I want to stay fat because:
1) It's easier from a practical stand point to eat whatever is handy and not cook healthy meals (although I still make healthy meals for my son so that makes no sense!)
2) I'm worried about sagging skin
3) I don't know who I would be as a thin person because I've been heavy since I was 20
4) I don't handle the attention from men well when I'm thinner because I'm worried they will hurt me like all the men have before
5) I'm worried I'll have a chip on my shoulder to men because they weren't interested when I was heavier and I'm the same person either way
6) Like Stacy, I feel like I've traded an addiction to food for an addiction to weight loss and what will be next after I'm done losing weight?
7) I'm worried that the relationships I have with my overweight friends will change (I saw this when I lost weight the last time)
8) I'm worried as many others that losing weight won't change the problems I have in relationships with men and won't attract more men and I'll find out there is something worse wrong with me than being fat
I will say though that being a person that lost 96 lbs in 10 months and then gaining all but 17 lbs of it back in following 13 months, I'm not afraid of gaining back. I found a plan that works for me so I know physically I can do it. It's the mental part that I have issues with.
I want to stay fat, because food is a big pleasure for me, and my life has very little pleasure to begin with.
I feel like if I take my junk foods away ... then what do I have left to enjoy?
I think about food so much. I will look forward to my next meal like a child looks forward to Christmas morning, and I will try to make it as good as possible by pairing foods I love together with a movie or show that I want to see. What will I look forward to when I'm not allowed to eat these foods or as much of these foods anymore?
I'm a cute fat chick and still get attention, but I like being invisible to most men. I have a healthy sense of confidence in intimate situations, and knowing that I'm going to be left with hanging slabs of skin leaves me less than enthusiastic. I'd rather be a cute fat chick than an unattractive thinner one. I work in a male-dominated industry, and I'm one of the few women that the guys take seriously...and I wonder if that will change as I become more traditionally attractive. I'm lazy and really don't like to exercise or watching what I eat. I like that women don't exhibit jealousy toward me.
I want to stay fat because I have a fear that I will develop an ego like I am better then other people.
Also, I have a fear that if I lose the weight I will leave my boyfriend of a year if other men finally pay attention to me. I love my boyfriend, but I don't know how I will feel if other men are actually interested in me.
I want to stay fat because I am afraid I may not even love myself thin.
I want to stay fat because I have a fear of loose skin...
Last edited by Asherdoodles87; 01-24-2011 at 01:08 AM.
I want to stay fat because it's way easier than being healthy. I takes little to no effort on my part.
I'm also with Helen and I think the fear of failing would be a big reason to stay fat.
This thread really surprises me because I do not have any of these fears. I'm reading it with great interest in how different we are all wired. Barbygirl, yours in particular took me by surprise. I have to disagree and say that staying fat is not easier! It may seem like it in the moment. It's easier for a moment to give in to whatever temptation is in front of you, but it is so, so much easier in every way to be thin! I painted my dining room yesterday and got up and down off a kitchen chair while working my way around the ceiling. The last time I did this at 235 pounds I was so sore the next day. This time, not a bit of soreness. It's no different than the squats I do at the gym all the time. It was a non-event, not a workout at all. The other example I can give is heart burn. I used to have such bad attacks. It was painful, scary and hard! Those are gone, not a concern in the least little bit. Everything is easier including getting in and out of my car, bringing in groceries, shopping, running upstairs just to turn off a forgotten light, standing at the sink to do dishes, tieing my shoes, picking things up off the floor, mopping the floor, getting up from the couch, just everything.
I can't speak to the mental things. I have been mentally thin all along. Now if you reversed this scenario and asked my why I was afraid of getting fat, I'd have the biggest list ever for you!
My bf is a 'chubby chaser'....we've been together since we were 14 and 15 respectively...I was never thin, but once I hit 260 in 2004 I got sick of it and lost 70 lbs. He was surprised at how much he liked me that way...
Then I gained it back and we didn't have sex for 5 months.
I'm kind of scarred by that. We had a big fight, and I gained 40 more lbs.
I kind of wonder if it was because I was mad. Because he was attracted to me at 260 before, but after I lost and regained he wasn't.
I was resentful. I still am a little and it's been about 5 years since that happened. He said he's sorry, and he doesn't think like that anymore. I can SEE where he's coming from ....but...I dunno. The last time I got down to about where I am now, I started regaining. I honestly worry that I'll be resentful of him for being more attracted to me again as I lose, which is stupid, but, it's how I feel.
Eliana - I don't think barbygirl meant LIFE was easier. She said if was easier to stay fat. It's so much easier to drive by McDonald's for dinner than to have shopped for healthy food, planned a meal, cooked a meal, and then cleaned up after a healthy meal. It's easier to stay on the couch watching TV than to drag your low-energy self (from being overweight and no exercise) to the gym. LIFE is not easier, by no means. But the steps required to stay fat are easier than the steps required to get thin. Much like others have said.
Along with some of the other reasons, for me, I love my husband, but what if the things that need work do not get better when I lose weight? What steps do I take then?
Volleyball, yes, and no. I guess it goes back to what Robin always said about "choose your hard". That's why I like the method of keeping everything simple in my plan.
I don't WANT to stay fat, however there are fears that are making my motivation that much weaker. I restart a commitment every few weeks, to exercise more, eat healthier, etc. I make it about 3 days and then find myself thinking much like many have stated previously; things are not good now, but what if after all this work, they aren't any better? Why should I bother?
This time around, I find myself thinking and saying to myself "Self.... "
Even if most things aren't better, or changed YOU will be
Your health WILL improve
You will have more energy
You will be able to do more fun activities without feeling like you're holding everyone else back
The final thought that really excites me is...
You will have accomplished a major goal! You will have SUCCEEDED!!
Losing weight is not easy, it's not easy being obese, however staying obese takes less concentrated effort than making that change. Not making those efforts over the last 15+ years has gotten me right here, in the same obese body that it was 15 years ago. I'm making the change today! I'll keep making the change each with each & every choice I make, even if my choice is a poor one for that moment. My goal is not to succeed immediately, but step by step. This board (and my lurking) gives me encouragement & motivation.
Last edited by u2can; 01-24-2011 at 11:00 AM.
Reason: missed a word
I have to disagree and say that staying fat is not easier! 
It may seem like it in the moment. It's easier for a moment to give in to whatever temptation is in front of you, but it is so, so much easier in every way to be thin! I painted my dining room yesterday and got up and down off a kitchen chair while working my way around the ceiling. The last time I did this at 235 pounds I was so sore the next day. This time, not a bit of soreness. It's no different than the squats I do at the gym all the time. It was a non-event, not a workout at all. The other example I can give is heart burn. I used to have such bad attacks. It was painful, scary and hard! Those are gone, not a concern in the least little bit. Everything is easier including getting in and out of my car, bringing in groceries, shopping, running upstairs just to turn off a forgotten light, standing at the sink to do dishes, tieing my shoes, picking things up off the floor, mopping the floor, getting up from the couch, just everything.
That's why I like the method of keeping everything simple in my plan.
