I think some doctors need to be more mindful of how the addess certain issues. Doctors being rude and inconsederate is not necessary. My mother has issues with her doctor because he wont treat anything that is wrong with her. He just tells her to lose weight. I'm not joking, she had a cold and just wanted some medicine...he told her she was too fat and needed to lose weight. She had a sinus infection one day...he told her she was too fat and needed to lose weight. Granted, some of her problems are weight related, but a common cold is not one of them!
I went to see the doctor one day, something was wrong with my mouth. He told me I needed to lose weight...WTF? My mouth...my fat...my mouth...my fat, excuse me if I cant see the correlation.
However, he was right. I did/do need to lose weight. That wasnt the time or place for that comment. I was having a problem with my mouth and he was not my regular doctor. Another doctor I went to see told me I needed to lose weight, but I was having a physical...OK, I can accept that. Even though she didnt believe me when I said I worked out (probably exercise more than she did).
So, yeah, I think docotrs should tell you if they see a health concern, but they should watch how they do it. Hopefully they wouldnt tell someone "you have cancer, you are going to die, bye" so why do it to a fat person.
I would drop any doctor who refused to treat me and only harped on my weight. There is a whole person to treat, not just a number on a scale. Harping on the weight is their job, but they need to treat other things, too. Bedside manner is very important, but I think I'd suffer a rude doctor who was very, very good at what he or she did rather than go to one who said what I wanted to hear and missed out on important issues.
I once had went to a doctor specifically for weight issues and never went back because when I walked it he said "My God! You're fat!". At the time I weight 180 or less so yes I was overweight. BUT - I never even considered filing a complaint because he was telling the truth.
And at the same time, my regular doctor has been ill for a few months so I had to go see her partner back in March. I left the office a little perturbed that he didn't comment on the fact that I had gained so much weight in such a short time. And when I brought it to his attention, he didn't seem concerned. Luckily my regular doctor is back now so I have someone that is watching out for my health.
Now that I've gone around the world with my response my answer is that I agree with the doctor. Now, he could have said it in a way that would have been offensive, but just based on what I read there was nothing wrong with what he said.
Okay...I think I might have different feelings on this matter now. I was basing my original opinion on the article linked in this thread, but have now received a message from a friend on the subject:
"Just to clarify - the doctor was on the Today show this morning and said (and I'm paraphrasing) that her husband would most likely die before her (because he was heavy as well), and she would find herself amongst thousands of other obese women who are not attractive to men, and she would be alone. He said he was stating the cold, hard facts. The woman is complaining about that statement, not about the fact that he told her she was obese and should lose weight."
If that's the case then I believe what he said was totally offensive. I don't consider a suggestion to a patient that she'd have difficulty finding potential suitors upon widowhood to be medical advice! This woman no doubt needed to receive a message but the way it was given was totally inappropriate!
I recently went to the doctor because my bf has mono, this wasn't my regular doctor, and he immediately told me that I needed to be tested for Diabetes because of my size. And he just wouldn't let it go... I KNOW I'm overweight, I don't need someone pointing out the obvious. Now I might just have horrible luck with doctors, but I went to my old doctor complaining that I was only losing 1 pound a month, even though I was running 3 miles a day, and dieting. Without even asking any questions, she told me that I was just too much. Jill, thanks for looking up that other part, it's hard to know both sides, and onesided stores just don't work. Know what? I hate doctors, infact, if I was that woman, I would totally sue my doctor too! You just gotta have some tact, it's called respect, kindness, etc! I'm done venting now!
I think it's fine to be perfectly truthful, i.e. obesity is dangerous, etc. but at the same time, I pay the doctor to dispense medical advice, not marital. That being said, all of these trivial lawsuits get on my nerves. If you are suing for a principle, donate the award for obesity research or doctor sensitivity training. If you just want to make a quick buck, then I don't have a lot of respect for that. If I sued everytime someone said something offensive, I'd be richer than Bill Gates by now .
Last edited by TakinBabySteps; 08-24-2005 at 11:33 PM.
I didn't take what the doctor in the article said as particularly offensive.
I didn't either. I think he did his job, and would have been remiss not to have addressed it. As it was depicted in that article, his communication to this woman doesn't seem out of line to me, and the fact that her complaints escalated the situation to this point is just sad. Denial is a very powerful thing.
Her doctor's still an ***. Your medical degree doesn't give you carte blanche to diagnose my personal life. Telling her she was going to be alone crossed the line, IMHO.
I started to respond to this post, had to leave the computer for a while, and then finished up my post. Now, on reading Jill's post, I see that maybe the article doesn't give the whole story. The article doesn't make it seem like he was out of line. I understand what he said on the Today show; did he say that this was what he'd said to her initially? Obviously he's an *** and has an unfortunate case of fat phobia.....I'm just still not hearing that he said that stuff to her directly back in the office. Of course he could have!
Suing though, if she's doing that, is a real misuse of our already overburdened judicial system, and is downright silly, in my opinion.
His saying she was killing herself was one thing. If he made the personal statement that she'd be alone with no hope of finding a spouse should she be widowed? That was beyond necessary, though he probably said it in hopes of shocking her into changing her ways.
Did she just file a complaint? I don't recall there being a lawsuit filed, right?
It's the stupid lawsuits that make medical care so dear to the pocketbook and the wait so long to see specialists. Howie's neurologist told us yesterday that in just a few years' time, the number of practicing neurosurgeons in the U.S. has dropped from 5000 to 3000. I'm sure it's high malpractice premiums, the insurance plans dictating what care their patients can receive, and the risk of lawsuits that did it.
Since when is someone's "desirability" a medical condition? He overstepped some bounds there in informing her of his obesity diagnosis. Yeah, I think some sensitivity training is in order.
My understanding is that the woman's unsatisfied with the response to her complaint (by both the doctor and the board of medicine) and is now considering legal action. I hope she changes her mind and doesn't sink to the doctor's level to prove her point (however valid).
I'm suprised a doc would say something that inconsiderate to a patient. But maybe I've just been lucky with the docs I've seen. Of course, none of my doctors have said to me, in anyway, subtle or point blank, that I needed to lose weight. And if it had been said and then was followed up with an offer to hook me up with nutritional counselling and other help, I wouldn't have been offended. Embarrassed, YES. Relieved the issue had been brought, YES. Willing to accept the help offered, YES.
The only comment regarding my weight came from a doc while I was pregnant with my 3rd, when she told me it was OK I was maintaining the same weight for most of my pregnancy and could probably lose a little and it would still be OK as I started "ahead of the game so to speak" and she is keeping a close eye on the baby's growth and baby is growing fine. (With my last pregnancy I started out at 280 and was 285 right before I delivered-after delivery I was down to 260, but packed on 29 lbs over 23 months getting up to 289. I wish my doctor while I was pregnant with my first would have cautioned me to lay off the ice cream and eat healthier. I ate what ever I wanted (lots of junk and fast food), including almost 1/2 gallon of ice cream per day the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, and figured I would lose it easily while breastfeeding. How foolish of me. :duh: )
Anyway, I think the doc was trying to do his job, but he crossed the line with the remarks about not being able to find anyone attracted to her, after her obese husband dies. File a complaint? Sure. Reason enough to sue? NO! Reason enough to find a new doctor? DEFINITELY!
Okay, now having heard what the doctor actually said, he is an a**! There were a lot better ways for him to phrase to the woman that she needed to lose weight. I would have complained about him as well.
my answer is that I agree with the doctor. Now, he could have said it in a way that would have been offensive, but just based on what I read there was nothing wrong with what he said.
This woman no doubt needed to receive a message but the way it was given was totally inappropriate!
I think he did his job, and would have been remiss not to have addressed it. As it was depicted in that article, his communication to this woman doesn't seem out of line to me, and the fact that her complaints escalated the situation to this point is just sad. Denial is a very powerful thing. 
