Driving 5 hours today to get my kids from the airport. They are visiting for 2 1/2 weeks. I am SO excited! But it will be tough to keep up with the exercise. And you know what? That's absolutely okay. The weight control is a rest-of-my-life thing. It has to take a backseat sometimes.

Jessica - I know EXACTLY what you mean about the food thing. And I have been in your shoes, where money was really tight, and if I had splurged on a healthy food item I really loved, it would have made me absolutely crazy if someone had taken it. Hiding it in the bottom of the garbage meant that person knew it was wrong.

Jenni - Hope you're feeling better and that the hunger has subsided. Thanks for the words of support. I feel good about the challenge.

Uber - That's the biggest benefit of being a re-loser, I think. Knowing ourselves well enough to know what we need and what won't help. I hope you can afford the high-end gym soon. Your walk sounds great, and I love that it's a functional form of exercise that benefits your kids too. But swimming. Oh, how I miss swimming.

The scale finally unstuck. Down 1.4 pounds from yesterday to 206.4. Part of me wants to really power through until I FINALLY get to Onederland. (Though my latest push hasn't been that long, I have been focusing more on than off since June 2012.) But with kids here, I think I'm just going to try to chill. Adopt Mandy's calmer, more sustainable, approach. We'll see.

Hi all!
I didn't go to the gym today, which is kind of weird for me, but I just felt like my legs were still sore and since I'm going to mow today, I think that's enough. I have a big, uneven yard and a crappy mower that doesn't roll well. It takes a lot to get this done. So that's all I'm going to do. I got on the scale today and it was down some more. Scary. I'm happy about it, but I hope it keeps that way by Monday's weigh in. Someone else said something about the disbelief of seeing the lower number. Yep. I get that.

So excited to go to the football game tonight. Even though my son is not playing, I'm looking forward to seeing the game and getting to know the team a little better. I haven't been to one of the college's games before, so it will be fun to see the new traditions.

Jessica: Yep, you're the one who said it. Glee and disbelief. That's a familiar feeling! Congrats on your losses!!!!

Uber: I'm like you. I had a treadmill here at home and hardly ever used it. I finally gave it to my mom, who loves it. My gym is pretty inexpensive, too, so that helps. I just have to be able to go somewhere and get out of the house. My house is loaded with lazy vibes.

Jenni: I would miss spinning if I couldn't do it. I do like that workout, probably the best of all the ones I do.

LaurieDawn: Glad the scale cooperated! Enjoy the time with your kids. Weight loss will be there when you are ready to get back at it.

Well..... off to mow. Oh joy.

Uber, CONGRATS ON YOUR NON-SCALE VICTORY! In some ways, I feel like the NSV's can beat the awesomeness of a scale victory at times.

Laurie, have fun with your kids while they're visiting. Yeah, I don't eat a lot of sweets and I wanted something that would feel the ice cream craving and be more satisfying. The HC Frozen Greek yogurt cups do that. It made me sad. The bigger thing is that I'm hoping they don't try and eat a bunch of the regular food I bought this week either. I have a limited budget and we all know I'm going to have to move out eventually, I need to be in a situation where I know how far my money is really going to meet my nutritional needs. Not to mention, I need to be sure that if I leave in the middle of the month, I haven't spent all of my food budget already because they've been eating it, too. For example, I dropped about $12 on cheese yesterday. If I'm the only one eating it at the rate of about a slice a day, that's a month worth of cheese. If they end up finding it and eating a bunch of it, my cheese stash could be gone in a matter of weeks, or less. Here's to hoping I'm able to end the month with a good idea of how much of what types of foods I can afford.

Diane, have fun mowing the yard, it can fill the void as something of an active recovery to let your leg muscles do a little resting. I'm so happy you saw another loss today. Seeing the fruits of your hard work is the best feeling in the world.


Scale didn't quite hit 206 today, but I'm honestly very content with 207. It's already 3 lbs down from last week's weigh in so as long as I can maintain it, I'll have another impressive week.

Went out to see Will, he's been dropping weight some so Rhieannon's gonna find out how much it is to get his teeth floated (filed down so he stops dropping grain) and she said she's willing to cover that cost until my next paycheck because it's important that we get it done as soon as possible so he can put back on some of the weight he's lost before winter. She's also going to supplement his diet with alfalfa. Hopefully my boy starts to perk back up again here soon.

Additionally, chatted with her in general which was nice. I also asked if they'd had a chance to talk more about the living quarters thing and they haven't, but she stated in no uncertain terms that YES she wants somebody out there. Things are just a little all-over the place for them right now, so when they settle down, we'll talk again. It's a relief though to know how adamant she is to have the company. Her kids just went back to public school this year and she said she had no idea what to do with herself that first day. Lol.

Hello everyone!

I'm struggling to stay on plan and I am so very ashamed to say it. Your voices are all in the back of my head cheering me on and that's what's making the difference between me simply disappearing and me continuing to fight the good fight by posting on here.

Adjusting to the food differences between Country A (my summer home where weight loss happens) and Country B (my regular home where I invariably gain weight) has been much harder than I expected. I also just turned 40. It's not like the birthday took me by surprise, but it's still a transition. There are some other issues that have also popped up recently that are taking some emotional energy to deal with.

I haven't stepped on the scale in more than a week. I don't quite know what kind of dots I need to connect in my head to get back on track. So I'm kind of stuck. I'm sorry I can't provide a lot of support to others at the moment, but I will continue to hang in there and post despondent little updates in hope that doing so will shift the direction these sad little winds have been blowing in.

Hi all!
Had a really fun day yesterday. No, mowing the lawn was not the highlight, but it is done and I always feel a big sense of accomplishment from doing that. It is really hard to get done and it was hot yesterday, so by the time I got done, I was one sweaty, dusty mess. I'm glad I got it done when I did, because the mosquitoes were coming out in force as I finished. It seems like we have a new batch of them and they are vicious. Anyway, I got that done and had gone grocery shopping in the morning, so that was done. I took a shower and was sitting on the couch when I looked at the clock and realized that I didn't have much time before my son's football game. No, he isn't playing, but I really wanted to go. He will be redshirted this year, which just means he is still on the team, but he won't be playing, so that he saves his college eligibility for another year. He also has a concussion, so he has to get past that before he can even practice. Anyway, I hurried and made it in time. I haven't been to a college football game since I was in college, and I had forgotten how much fun they really are, and the level of play is so much better than high school, understandably, that it was just an exciting night. I had so much fun!! Then, they went into overtime, and ended up winning. So great!! My son said that even though he didn't play, this was just a great time for him. Makes me smile! Oh, and my daughter has a new boyfriend, so maybe that will settle her down for a while! Just sayin.

I didn't get a chance to get dinner before I left for the game. When I went to the concession stand to get something, I just couldn't bring myself to eat what they had. It just didn't look good. It may have been because I had a late lunch too. But I did get a Pepsi, and I haven't had one for months. It was great! I figured I could absorb the calories for the day, and I ended up way under anyway.

Just needing to get some stuff done around the house today. The game went really late and since I can't seem to sleep in anymore, it might be a nap kind of day, too.

Martini: I'm sorry you are struggling. You just keep posting here and do nt give up! Sometimes we have to just keep moving through these funks, until we come out the other side. It reminds me of that country song that says, "If you're going through ****, keep on going, don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there." Just take it one day at a time, and just keep in touch with us. We know what it is like, and we're here for you!

Jessica: Sorry to hear about Will. I hope he picks up soon. Could he be wormy? You might try some wormer if the the floating doesn't work. Just a thought!

Diane, he was dewormed recently with her horses and then after we talked, she did another full-spectrum deworming just to be safe.

Martini, stick with us and we'll help you through your transition.


Scale gave me 206 lbs. Holding tightly to the victory of being 1 lb from my lowest adult weight and 7 lbs from Onederland. I have to right now... I got a letter saying that they're going to drop my food stamp status to $16 because on paper it looks like I get to pocket all the money I make. Which isn't the case. Going to try and appeal the decision and hoping that if they look at the numbers they'll realize that I can't afford it. Not going to hold my breath though, cause things always seem to fall apart for me. I had the biggest panic attack I've had in months, longer, while talking to my mother about it. I was crying hysterically, couldn't breath, and had a strong urge to hide in a closet while rocking back and forth and talking to myself. Not like I normally talk to myself, but full on crazy talking to myself. Feeling as good as I possibly can about it today and spending my day in bed cuddling Luna. To top everything off, that time of the month decided to officially hit today. Yay me.

Jessica I just love the image of you standing on the scale and thinking that you're seeing 212 when it's really 207!!!! I really admire the way you are hanging in there in spite of the fact that you really have some home front stresses to deal with. I know exactly what you mean about budgeting out the food and then having someone go in and eat up a whole bunch of it. It does sound like your life would be a lot easier to manage if you were on your own-- and yet, you are managing really well! Kudos

Laurie Another 1.4 down! LOL about adopting Mandy's approach. Whenever I start to get nuts about eating very little I always hear Mandy's voice in my head!

Martini So glad to hear you piping up here even if now is a struggle time. Transitions are ALWAYS hard for weight loss purposes. I want to share an old thread that I stumbled across. This was me about 14 months ago. I was losing weight and doing great, then I went on vacation, and when I came back, I was having trouble getting back on track and started bingeing. Apparently this thread was my last cry for help. Obviously, I never came back to read all of the supportive comments that people left for me. During 2012-2013, I gained 25 more pounds, ending up at 285 before I finally buckled down again in late May of this year. Looking back, I feel like if I had just stuck with it a little longer, I probably could have gotten my groove back and saved myself a whole year. We are here for you whether it's working for you or not! The times when it's not working are definitely part of the overall process. Hang in there, and you'll have your groove back before you know it. Oh, and And PLEASE don't be glum about entering your 40s! I'm a classic late bloomer myself-- I sat down to write my first book the year I turned 40. Five years later I was a published author, and by the time I was in my early 50s, I hit the New York Times bestseller list. Forty is the perfect time to set and accomplish new goals!

Diane Your day sounds wonderful, and I LOVE how you weren't even tempted by the food at the concession. What a wonderful NSV that is! Mowing sounds like a lot of work-- I'm sure you got a good workout. And, how fantastic that the number on the scale is making you startled!

As for me, so, a couple of days ago I had what I would call a STUPID food incident. There was a fund-raiser at my kid's school with food trucks. We went. I figured that it would be a "cheat meal" or not really on-plan meal and I had planned for it. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and garlic fries. I think it was the greasiest food I've ever eaten in my entire life. I ate every bite, and then suddenly i realized that I felt sick. I was so pissed at myself-- not so much for the off-plan eating, but just that i had been stupid enough to waste calories on something so fatty. I've been on plan since, although I haven't been in the hunker down keep my calories super-low phase. Feeling a little "wobbly" just because I didn't weigh in for 2 days-- it wasn't a plan, just that my scale is in the guest bathroom and I couldn't get to it first thing in the morning.

In general, doing fine and just chugging along.

Jessica I just realized that you ninja'd me. I'm SO SORRY about your food stamp issue. That is just absolutely horrible and so distressing. I really hope that your appeal works. Money stresses are the absolute worst!!! Hang in there! I hope it all works out! And by the way ONE POUND FROM YOUR LOWEST ADULT WEIGHT???????? That is an enormous achievement. You must be incredibly proud of what you've accomplished.

I'm really discouraged I feel like I have been in the 230s forever followed plan count calories this is so hard when my weight slows down I want to kick and scream then cry

Jenni Go ahead an kick then scream then cry! But stick with it. Look at me. I was stuck at 260 forever then I dropped 7 lbs lickety split. You can do this. It's frustrating when the scale doesn't move but I promise that it will!

I've missed a lot of comments so I'm just going to insert myself into the ongoing conversations and apologize for any- and everything that I leave out.

Toasted - I actually bet you really are a joy to be around, even when you're not being a joy to be around. Protest all you'd like, but you've got a charm that you just can't hide. I hope you have a lovely time in Italy!

Laurie - I am really bummed out about the fact that I don't think I'm going to make my goal on the trainer boy challenge. We'll see. This might end up being a lesson in the hubris of setting weight loss goals when all is going well. That little snot actually popped into my head a few times this past week when I was thinking how I didn't want to stay on plan or that I wanted to give up on it all.

Jessica - OMG I know that things are tough in a million different ways and you're being hit from a lot of different directions, but you're almost in the 100s!!! That's such a big deal - if only because it underscores life being so amazingly complex and richer than all good or all bad. I'm so proud of you and happy for you!

Diane - Those song lyrics were just what I needed to hear. The idea of keeping my game face on when things get tough... it was a really good reminder that I have a lot more power than I recognize sometimes.

Uber - What stood out for me with the cheese and fries food truck food was that you're actually thinking like a thin person about what you ate. There wasn't a trace of equating food with shame and moral turpitude. You were just upset that you have a finite number of calories in your life and you wasted them on something that wasn't great.

Jenni - Echoing Uber's comment... kick and scream and cry if you need to. Go with it if that's where you're at. This process is frustrating and tedious when it's going well so you won't hear a peep out of me if some venting needs to take place.

I had a day on plan. I also stepped on the scale and updated my numbers because I thought I was being stupid by trying to hide from it. I'm up a few pounds, but some of that has got to be water so I'm just going to note it and then move on.

When life hits there's a part of me that wants to fold up within myself and play possum until everything is over. Posting yesterday about how lousy I felt reminded me that I can actually exert some agency in my world, even if it's only choosing what to put in my mouth or reaching out for support. That makes a difference.

I hope everyone is doing well!!

Martini - You totally DID make the trainer boy challenge! It was 12 pounds in 2 months, and you have done it! That little snot has been defeated. Twice. =)

I am so glad you're still here and still posting. When I first joined this forum in 2007, I would see people who had been members for years who had dropped relatively little weight, and I would think, "I hope that's not me." But I soon learned that it was exactly those people that I wanted to be like. The ones who just don't give up. Don't stop trying and posting and just regain weight, like I have done more than once. Keep coming here. We'll figure it out together. We are the village, and we are here to get you thin.

Jessica - Your money stuff is so relatable for me. I am extremely grateful that I am in a position where I don't have to be as worried about enough money to meet basic needs as a few years ago (literally two years ago, when I finally graduated and was able to get a decent job). But I feel your struggles.

Uber - I LOVE that you continue to rock your post-vacation, newly-revamped plan. Getting back on track is the hardest thing, and you have done it. It's totally in your rear-view mirror. And I love that you planned for your cheat meal, and that it's not throwing you off. I also love that it's another new experience in your arsenal.

Diane - Hope your legs fully recover. Mowing my lawn sounds similar to yours, and it's definitely a work-out. I always come in a sweaty mess. And your son playing college football is such a huge accomplishment! Hope the concussion clears up quickly so that he can get back to practice and start preparing himself for a fabulous college career. And that your daughter's new BF keeps her distracted and happily busy for a while. =)

I went full-blown off-plan for a day and a half. And I am up to 212.6 pounds. I told my husband about it this morning (even though I rarely talk to him about weight loss), and he was in disbelief. And I said, "Spoken like someone who doesn't weigh daily." I considered not weighing for a few days until it stabilizes, but I know myself well enough to know that in that direction lies only self-deceit and denial. And more binges. (For others, it's the perfect choice.)

So I am here. And staring it in the face. And ready to fight it. I can't really comfortably eat yet this morning. It's part of the cycle when I'm in full-swing binge mode. I wake up feeling like I want to vomit, vow I'll never do that to myself again, maybe drink a lot of water, and food will seem like the height of physical discomfort. Until the hunger hits. Suddenly and outrageously. Then, I will hunt for whatever food is available and will give me relief, which will start the eating part of this binge phase.

Just not going to happen today. I can't let it. I'm standing here at my desk in a size 14 skirt and size 14 shirt feeling nauseated and bloated. This is not happiness. This is misery. Why would I court misery, especially knowing that if I continue on this path for a few months, my size 18s will start getting unbearably tight again? I did not avoid the scale. I did not avoid this forum. I will drink water all day, per usual. When the hunger hits, I will slowly eat my on-plan foods. And I will weigh tomorrow and the next and the next, and recognize that even if I have lost 6 pounds of progress (and I know I haven't really), I am still only 12.5 pounds from Onederland. And there's no way to get there without going through here. So, gonna do it.

Thank you UBER and MARTINI!!!! I really needed that. Although I am still frustrated....I went into this knowing it would be a long process....I have done this so many times to fail. I don't want to fail I want to kick my fat out of my body.......its just so hard sometimes. I guess when you see some who lose so fast and I feel like I want to give my fat an eject just as fast. I feel like I am being a child about all this but I guess working it out and crying and typing helps. I have been in the 230's for literally over a month.

Uber...I know not planned meals are a pain but sometimes it can help kickstart things too! Be proud you got right on plan after that is a great accomplishment for anyone!

Martini...so glad to see you and glad you had a good on plan day....and the best thing to do is weigh...I know that is weird but it lets us know where we are at. I am beginning to think I am not such a great daily weigher and I may need to pull it back to 2-3 times a week...I get too angy..LOL

Laurie...I am sure those pounds will fall right off usually huge gains like that is water weight!

Hi all! Well, good news on the scale today. I lost 3.6 lbs! Very happy to see the loss this week. It's been a long time since I've had much of loss and now I feel much better, being closer to the 220's. I also made it past the halfway point to my goal, so that made me happy!! I know that NSV's are great, but I really wanted to see some movement downward on the scale. It's been too long! I actually might have had an even better number, but I had a higher calorie day yesterday. It was just one of those things that I had more than what I intended. It's ok. I wasn't totally out of control, but just not very restrictive with myself. Back on track today, and I went to spin class this morning. It seemed a little difficult, but I'll just say it is because it was Monday.

Jenni: You can certainly be upset and throw as big of a fit as you want! I totally get it! And then, just stay with it. The 230's haven't been kind to me either. I broke into the 230's on 8/11. And I'm still waiting to get out of them! Maybe we can cross that line together, very soon!!!

LaurieDawn: Sorry about the off plan stuff, but what really stood out to me about your post is your mature thoughts about it. You aren't throwing in the towel at all. You acknowledged it and you're moving on. Good for you. AND, I also noticed that you mentioned that you're wearing size 14's! Cool!

Martini: You are sounding better now! I totally understand your wanting to curl up in a ball and withdraw when things aren't going well. I'm glad you are still posting! We would miss you very much!

Uber: It's funny (and good news) that the food bothered you so much. That type of food was probably not a problem in the past. But now, you're body is expecting much better! I think that's the thing to recognize. Even though you think it is something you really want, it may not be as good as you remember. We're all making progress!

Jessica: I'm sorry to hear about your financial troubles, too. I really feel like financial problems are so difficult to get through. My family has been struggling to get back on our feet after a few rough years and it is just the most heartbreaking thing to have to go through. Hang in there! I hope it all works out for you very soon!

Diane...thank you! Yes I started on 8/2 or something like that it is SO irritating! Good luck to you and great loss!!!!

Jessica...I totally understand the financial thing too. I was a single mom for 8 years with no support. I went to school full time worked full time and struggled with finances!!!! Hang in there!