Laurie... I forgot to respond. Hubby is retiring Army in January so trying to find a job before then. I really want to get on with the state. The job I'm interviewing for is disability determination. We will see I'm looking at it as interview experience!

calluna...I think eating is 90 percent of weightloss so you are doing great!!!

Ok my head is ADD right now so if I missed someone through my Radom posts I'm sorry!!!!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Say it ain't so!!!!

The Internet just ate my entire long post and now I don't have time to start over.

Greetings to everyone and I'll try to come back later and start over. How aggravating!

calluna I don't care if you skip me! I love reading the answers and we better be careful or it will take us all day to answer. I love how active this thread is.

Diane The slow loss thing is super annoying and I have really been plagued by it. The last time I lost, I lost the first 50 relatively quickly, but the rest of it came off really slowly-- I used to lose less than a pound a week with ZERO cheating and LOTS of exercise. I just looked at my monthly tracker and realized that for the entire month of August I only lost ONE pound-- now, that includes the time in vacation when I was eating whatever I wanted, so I'm still happy to be down a bit, but still! Your words were exactly what the doctor ordered this morning!!! And I hope you take them to heart yourself too.

Garnet, Luna is a beauty! I have a golden. Dogs are the best. I also really appreciate what you said about not wanting to trade off the sensitivity that comes with depression. It's a lovely way to look at it. Glad you are feeling better.

Laurie I've decided I'm going to call the voice in my head that tells me to binge "hooker!"

Fera, Goodness, you have a cheerful attitude toward packing!!!!! You have my admiration. I've moved more times in my life than I care to admit and it is one of my absolute LEAST favorite chores! Nice to know that you have a beautiful new home on the horizon! Congratulations on the 40 lbs off! You are kicking the hooker to the curb!

Jenni, LOL, your ADD head! Mine is like that ALL THE TIME! I justify it by saying I'm the creative type.

Toasted I haven't tried a fitbit. I'm afraid I'd be too lazy to use it, but I do have a wrist monitor that you can wear to show heartbeat and how far you've gone.

So, for me, all is well, but I was sort of freaked out when I realized that my total loss for the month was ONE POUND. I'm looking at the bright side which is that this isn't really my normal pattern-- normally, the vacation bingeing would have simply thrown me completely off course and I would have regained by now. I'm trying to tighten down the calories a bit to speed up my loss but I'm going to try to avoid getting crazy about it-- there has got to be a happy medium in there.

Jessica - Your dog is adorable. She looks like she has the kind of soft/fluffy fur that I love to just stick my face in. I know that sounds really weird, but I annoy my cats daily by picking them up and hugging them, and basically petting them with my cheek lol. They always squirm and jump down, and start bathing like "MOM YOU TOUCHED ME WITH YOUR FACE UGH" So cute.

Jenni - You are right! I forgot to do that. But I didn't forget about the real book I get to buy as a reward! I took care of it. Thanks for the reminder.

Diane - I love reading about all of your workouts. I'm pretty sure I've said that before. Just remember how much good you're doing for yourself with those workouts even if the scale doesn't budge. Are you taking measurements over different spots and progress pictures? Sometimes if you're working out a ton, your body shape changes, even if the scale doesn't reflect it. You are amazing, and it's great that you don't let the fickle scale get to you.

Calluna - Heh. Yes. Alaska would be a bit of a hike to come down. I, too, am getting pretty good at this moving thing. This will be my 4th move since getting married in May of 2011. We moved from VA, to SC, to TX, back to SC, and now we're headed up to IN... where hopefully we can stay planted for a while. Also, I know your question was directed to ToastedSmoke, but I also have a FitBit (One) and I love it. I got it for about $100 at Target and have worn it every day (except for this past Sunday) since I got it at the end of May. It's been a wonderful tool to help me get more active. And with the numbers it tells me I've burned through the day, and the fact that it syncs to MFP, helps me make sure I stay in my 2lb loss per week calorie range. I don't like to eat much lower than 1700 calories, so I do my best to get that "calories burned" number up to 2700 or better by the end of the day!

Laurie - It was kind of rhetorical in that I have so much food weirdness going on in the coming week or so, with all the take out I'll be eating once my cooking stuff is packed up and before we make a grocery run (20-30 minutes to the nearest anything out there. When you're 30 minutes from the closest Walmart, you know you're out in the sticks!) And also a little bit rhetorical, because I don't like to set dates and weights. Typically when I join a challenge on here, I'll look at how many weeks it is, say 12 weeks, and losing 2 pounds per week, I should get 24... but I'll thin to myself "account for screw ups, go with 20" and then I"ll look at my current weight (say 288 - not really, not yet) and say "okay, 20 pounds is 268, but I like round numbers, so I'll say "18 pounds, and my goal weight for 12 weeks is 270"... does that make sense? I like to make very realistic, passable goals so I don't feel like a failure (and I would) if I don't make my goal... even though the whole point is losing weight, not making some arbitrary deadline. Also, I just saw that you said hubby is hot. It, strangely, was kind of a stroke to my ego like "yeah, I totally snagged that one..."

Uber - I have used the term "hooker" for years. I think I shocked hubby's step-mom when I called him a hooker in front of her. I've only done it once, though. The look on her face was priceless. She's the super religious one that got my hubby involved in church when he was younger. I love her, but goodness it's hard to be myself around her sometimes. It was tough going there for a while, because she really didn't want her boy to be dating me. I wasn't religious enough, and the nurse in her was worried about my weight, and concerned it was going to make her son a fatty, too. Pfft. Also. I HATE packing. SO MUCH. Moving is one of those things I love and hate at the same time. I really hate the packing, and the loading, and the traveling... But I LOVE getting there, and unpacking, and turning walls and a roof into my home. But part of me knows the packing and loading is good exercise, and will help balance out all the junk I'll be eating over the next week, so trying to see a silver lining.

-------

For me - Today I'm using up things in the pantry and fridge to make goodies for those coming to help us move. So... chocolate chip strawberry cake mix cookies and hay stacks (pretzel sticks, peanuts, and chocolate candy coating) are the sweets I'm making. I'm also making a creamy spinach dip with frozen spinach, greek yogurt cream cheese, and some shredded mozzarella to go with the Ritz crackers I need to get rid of. I also have tortilla chips and salsa, and a veggie tray to prepare. There's also beer and bottled water to share, and all of that will be set out to snack on instead of ordering pizza for everyone. I hope people aren't offended by the lack of pizza!

We are mostly packed up, too. Some things left in the kitchen, and under the bathroom sinks, and I'll have to pack up my computer so the desk can get loaded, but All of that can be taken care of today without too much trouble. The PODS container is sitting outside waiting for us to fill it up so they can cart it off to Indiana for us.

Today's weigh in: 289.8!

Okay, so it's not much below 290, but it's below 290 and means I can officially claim 280s, right?

9.8 pounds to go to hit my birthday goal.

Calluna, it was a much better day. And aren't they just the best? Luna is actually Pyrenees mixed with Border Collie, but she is by far the loviest, smartest, most obedient dog I've ever had. I got her when she was 5 weeks old - she'll be 3 years on December 12 - and since that first night, she and I have been inseparable. She imprinted on me, I imprinted on her and that was that.

Laurie, I really believe that you have to look at the upside a lot rather than spending your life feeling negative. It's a shame that your husband hates that you try to forgive people. You don't have to like someone as a person or trust them to forgive what they've done to you. And, you know what? I think the fact that you did forgive them is incredibly strong of you. As the child of a very nasty divorce, it really will be better for your children in the long run that the two of you are capable of being civil. It's also similar to the way I don't - and will never - regret my marriage. Marrying someone who I knew didn't love me, going through all of those bad experiences, has made me stronger.

Don't push yourself too hard. Especially if you are feeling nauseous. Make sure you take care of yourself. Speaking of rest days. I've done two days of 30 day shred and after a very long week of work (on top of extra hours, we've had to pull really hard to compensate for the guy who's called out all week) my body, and mind, are starting to feel run down. I haven't decided if I'm going to completely forgo a work out or not. It's something I'll figure out later, I suppose but if I do, I'm not going to feel bad about it because I know it'll be something my body needs. So, if your body needs a break, take it. And if you REALLY want to do something physical still, go for a short walk or something... what is it... active recovery? I think that's the phrase. Take an active recovery day.

Jenni, good luck with the interview.

Uber, so glad that while you freaked out a little, some part of yourself was still able to remind you that you're moving in the right direction and that you didn't allow yourself to completely abandon the goal express.

Mandy, it is exactly that type of fur. And, what's more, I do the same thing to Luna. On the plus side, Luna loves it when I do. She's all about getting Mom's attention. She's trained to jump up and give me a hug when I pat my chest and say "hug". And when I get home at night, she likes to plant her face between me and the tablet until I love on her. So I bury my face in her face and let her give me kisses while I wait for my show to load.

Congrats on being under 290, Lady! You're doing fantabulous! Your treats sound delicious, especially the spinach dip.


And that brings me to me, I think. If I missed anyone, I apologize. I've decided that I'm pretty much done with this scale. It gave me a variance of over 6 lbs this morning and I had to practically punch it to get it to give me any reading at all. The work week has taken it's toll on me. We've had extra hours, which wouldn't be a big deal but we've also been struggling to make up for the fact that we've had a guy call out every day this week. (Not expecting to see him tonight, either. And if he does show, I imagine he'll be getting an earful from everybody.) It means that my patience was pretty much non-existent from the get go and I woke up with a "I don't give a frak" attitude. Means that when my brother decided to be obnoxious (I was trying to read something and he kept telling me over and over that I might want to run away because they're going to party this weekend) I was more than ready to roll my eyes and possibly punch him. Then there was a situation where he assumed that just because I was already going out for work that I'd have no qualms stopping to by them toilet paper with my money when I'd just given him cash for the insurance. Normally, I wouldn't mind. But I've had a very long week AND I stopped by the store for myself yesterday. I really try not to make a habit of going to the store every day... Which lead to a whole other conversation. I ranted a lot about it on my blog today and I'm feeling much better. But I'll be honest, in many ways I'm very much over living with my brother. I love him but he can really rub me the wrong way at times. XD

Uber! I would never skip you. I was merely saving you for your very own, special, dedicated post. For now, though, it's off to the pool so see you all this evening. Have a great day!!

Hello hello!

I've read through everything and am trying to reply to collections of posts rather than each individual post, so please do forgive me if I miss someone or some important news.

Laurie - I am so, so happy for and proud of you for handling your refeed so well! That's such amazing growth!

You and I are so different when it comes to getting our needs met. I would never even bother with the spanx and fitted shirt. I just go up to people I work with and say, "Hey. Do I look thinner?" They give me the correct answer (because you have to when someone asks like that), I'm happy, they get left alone, and the world is as it should be.

Diane - You are becoming such a role model for me. You're so rock solid in your consistency it's remarkable (to my mind, at least). I've always been good at being flexible in my approach to things and being willing to model behaviors, but what's been harder is finding behaviors that I actually want to model. You've got some that I really like.

Mandy - I'm going to second what Laurie said. Your husband's a cutie!

Uber - That's wonderful news about the new low weight! And what with the only being down a pound for the month... You're down a pound!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! That's wonderful!!! Exclamation points are magical things. I would suggest always adding one when in doubt about something's awesomeness.

Jessica - I think I understand some of the things you're navigating at the moment and I wish I could take a lot of it away for you. That's not the way life works, though. Unfortunately.

Over the years what's really worked for me is meditation. My practice is sporadic and lousy at the best of times, but being quiet in my head for 10 minutes a day has done a lot for me to separate myself from my thoughts and that, in turn, has done a lot to help me actively manage my emotions rather than be managed by them.

What that means in practice is that if I start feeling down or anxious or whatever, there's a part of my head that watches those feelings come up and then thinks, "Hmpf. I'm starting to want to crawl into a hole. Why don't I do the dishes instead?" It sounds stupid, but sometimes it's that kind of banality that makes the difference between a day spent in bed and a day spent out of bed.

Calluna - It boggles the mind how much weight you can lose and still wear the same size clothing when you're in the size 20/22/24/26 range. I wore the same shirt at 340 as I did at 280. There's some difference in how it hangs, but it's definitely wearable. I think that rule of thumb that says to pay attention to your weight by how your clothing fits only applies when you're in the single-digit sizes.

Toasted - I've thought about getting a fitbit, but decided to wait until the winter. I've got a lot of Apple products and there are rumors of them rolling out some sort of new health/fitness monitoring software sometime soon. I wanted to see what they come out with and what it's compatible with.

When I woke up this morning I thought my week on plan was awful. Then I went back and look at what I ate and realized it wasn't that bad. I ate and counted maintenance calories on one day (went out for dinner). I didn't count calories at all for a day and a half (birthday!!). While cheese and crackers for breakfast and fried falafel for dinner did happen, it wasn't a binge-y kind of out of control day. More just an "I can eat what I want because I'm a grown *** 40-year old now" kind of day.

What's more disconcerting is that my body is getting wonky. My period is three days late, my weight is up 3 lb, and my joints are all achy. I'm definitely not pregnant (which is a whole other depressing story about my love life) so I'm thinking it's either random, weight loss related, perimenopause, or some combination of the three. Or maybe something completely different. I don't know but something is definitely off.

I binged!!!!!!

I have no idea what happened. I ate my breakfast on plan, posted here, was feeling fine emotionally but a bit bloated and achy physically (see my post above)... and then I busted out this package of little crispbread things. They weren't fried or fatty or sweet or any of my traditional go-to binge foods. They were wheat based but didn't have any significant levels of sugar. This was about as non-binge a food as you could get apart from something like broccoli.

There was absolutely nothing going on with me emotionally. No shame or embarrassment or avoiding anything. I wasn't angry or upset or lonely at all. No hidden feelings about anything really. No self sabotaging impulses. No anxiety. No depression. None of that. I wasn't even hungry. I had a good dinner the night before and an appropriate breakfast.

I opened up a package of cookies I had set aside to give away to a colleague and put a dent in that. Then I went and threw out everything in the apartment that was off-plan. I had recently gone and got a bunch of things I usually don't have around to prepare a dish for a potluck and everything that was left over got mashed up and put in the dumpster.

The only thing I can think of that's changed recently is that I ate a few things that included wheat and sugar and those are usually things that I don't eat at all (no reason except measuring bread is a hassle and sugar doesn't fit in to my daily calorie limits).

Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm starting to be able to follow my hormonal hunger schedule, but this doesn't fit in that pattern. This also doesn't feel like the eateateat I've had before when it's an emotional issue. The possibility of this being biochemical is actually kind of freaky, but weirder things have happened.

Ideas? Suggestions?

Martini:

Does anyone have experience with this? Me. That sounds EXACTLY like something I would do. The first time I lost 110 lbs I managed to avoid bingeing entirely for more than two years BUT I had some very weird issues-- like sometimes I used to eat toasted golden flax seeds by the spoonful-- the calorie effect was minimal, but somehow the flavor and the crunchy sensation hit my "binge" spot. I definitely have a history of starting off on bingeing by eating foods that were not particularly bingeworthy-- like crisp bread things, and then once I get started, it turns into a tsunami of other binge foods.

I came across a thread on the chicks in control forum that recommended a book called "brain over binge" http://brainoverbinge.blogspot.com. I find it very insightful. Her premise, basically, is that she did therapy to deal with all of her "stuffing her feelings" issues, but that never helped her stop the actually behavior of bingeing. I thought it made a lot of sense to me. DEFINITELY I had really bad body image issues when I was a teen, and I grew up with a food police mom and I can see why I got started bingeing, but in general I'm a pretty emotionally stable person, and it's almost as if the bingeing is a long established habit that is hard to break-- more like a compulsion than a real desire. In any case, she has a strategy that seems to be drawn more from cognitive behavioral therapy which is supposed to help you break the compulsion, by changing how you think about it.

I have to be honest-- it sounds like you handled it SUPER WELL. Stopping where you stopped and then throwing away all potential binge foods is an amazing way to deal with the issue.

Except for my issues while on vacation, I've not been bingeing recently, but my plan is the next time I hear the voice telling me to binge, I'm going to shout:

SHUT UP HOOKER!

I just realized that I didn't address you actual question, which is whether this could be a biochemical thing? I don't know. In my own long (and largely unsuccessful) journey, I have found that restricting whole categories of food tends to lead eventually to bingeing on the food-- even if I can restrict it for a really long time, eventually, I end up "making up for lost time." Truth is, I haven't fully figured it out, but I can certainly relate!

Laurie It is so odd how people comment at different times about weight loss. Some people seem to notice when I drop 10 lbs, others really didn't notice much until I was down almost 100. I'm with Martini. I walk up to people, twirl around and say "don't I look skinny?" LOL. The funniest thing is that my mom was always the one who was HYPER about my weight and caused a lot of my food issues-- and now she's legally blind so she always thinks I look perfect! But girl, PLEASE give yourself a rest day-- you sound a lot like me last time around, and it's a recipe for hard core burnout.


Diane I have an idea for you. At your gym, can you get your body fat measured? I know that back in 2010, my weight simply wouldn't budge, so I met with a nutritionist who measured my body fat-- both she and I were surprised when it measured within the normal range for my age. At that time, I weighed about 190 but I was very fit. I think part of your slow loss is no doubt the fact that you have a lot of lean body mass. It might encourage you to find that out.

Mandy - All packed! That's great! You are a paragon. Love your snacks idea. I always enjoy hearing about how much you enjoy preparing a wide variety of foods even as you are losing weight. I've been trying to model myself more on your approach-- you seem to keep it flexible, while I tend to get super rigid.


Jessica - I'm so sorry about your issues with your brother! I have been living with my extended family for more than a year now-- my parents are older and both have health issues. I love them, but sometimes they just totally get on my nerves! Him hitting you up for money like that is immature and you should feel comfortable taking a firm stance. You work hard and he should not take advantage of that-- I feel like that's something my son would do, and I'd tell his sisters not to let them mow over them.


Calluna - it is so important to notice the little advantages of weight loss, and I second your observation about sleep quality. When I regained after losing 110 lbs, one of the things that was totally weird was that my weight redistributed. Before I carried most of my weight on my lower belly, but when I regain, much more distributed to my upper torso neck and arms. For the first time, I had super gross, really fat arms. But also, I started to have trouble sleeping, because when I lay on my side, the boob and neck fact seemed to squish my neck and make it hard to breathe. Fortunately, getting off the first 28 lbs has solved that problem and I've been sleeping great.

Martini I responded at length about the binge but wanted to say a word about the irregular cycle. In my former life I was a women's health nurse practitioner and there are tons of things that can throw off your cycle-- travel, weight gain or loss, or just random. You probably don't need to consult an MD unless it goes on for several months. Not sure how old you are but I'd definitely say that perimenopause is the LEAST likely reason unless you are in your late 40s.

Hi All! Great thread! I love you guys!!!

We are getting ready to go fishing, so I don't have a lot of time right now. It will just be my husband and me, so kind of looking forward to this one!! We'll stay overnight in a mobile home that my parents have near the lake. So excited. Anyway, if I delay fishing too much, he would file for a divorce. Ha, just kidding.

Anyway, I will come back tomorrow and post more personals to everyone because I just want to reply so badly to what you all are saying!!! In the meantime, I just wanted to let you all know that I didn't mean to sound too discouraged. I just really prefer losing lots of pounds! But, as I look back to past numbers, I'm not that stalled. I think my body likes to regroup after some good losses and hold onto those pounds for awhile. Then, it seems to let go and let me have my way again. I do feel like the scale will soon cooperate. I checked it this morning, and I am down, so that makes me happy. I try to keep Mondays as the official day, so I hope to have a really good report then.

Thanks to everyone who mentions my consistency with my workouts. I am pretty proud of that effort. My food plan isn't always as consistent, but I love working out. Yesterday, I really pushed at the MOI spin class (with the heart rate monitor workout). I felt totally wiped out after it, but it showed me that I can push harder and not die. Today, I went in and did some running/walking and then did the body flow class. It was awesome!! I'm feeling really good right now and just looking forward to going fishing.

To the dog people, we have a Chesapeake Bay retriever, so I'm a dog lover too. We also have 6 cats, a fish that just won't ever die..., the horses, chickens, turkeys, ducks and geese. We live out in the country on 8 acres, so we have a mini ranch. We used to have a few cows, too, but with the economy crashing, we had to sell them. Hopefully we can get some more in time.

Have a great weekend everyone! I can't wait to read more tomorrow!!

Hey everyone. First of all!!! Yayyyy!!! It's the weekend and I am. Not in hiding from 3FC... Which means.. I'm sticking to plan!!! AND I said NO to cake! Yes I SAID NO TO CAKE!!! Y'all don't even understand. I love cake. Not even in the offensive stereotypical "fat kids love cake" sort of way, it goes beyond that. My regain is 90% due to getting into gluten free baking randomly last year. I have an app on my iPod that I've used to track my calories over the past 5 years and I can pinpoint to the very day when my calories went out of control. I baked whole cakes, gave away a quarter. And then ate the rest all by myself. Anyway suffice to say I'm a cake fiend! AND then my dad made a dinner today I actually have had days where cake and got in this luscious carrot-walnut cake from a French bakery... And I said "no thanks." As I type from my parent's house. I have served out several servings of cake AND I am looking at said cake in the glass cake safe and though I am looking with longing, I'm pretty firm in my resolve not to have any because there is absolutely no room left in my calorie allowance today. I may just have found a smidge of my old discipline.

Ferafilia: I'm still in awe that you're doing so well with all the upheaval in your life. I loathe packing. It always ends in tears and therefore food for me. Someone usually has to smack me out of the hysteria of being so overwhelmed. And then you're here zen and with everything together. It's awesome and amazing and inspiring! If you can keep on plan with moving etc then I have no excuse, I've got to get it together! Using books as a mini-goal reward is an excellent idea. I'm constantly buying new stuff on Kindle and when I check my expenses at the end of the month, it REALLY adds up. I need to curb that habit. I think I just might do that maybe every 5lbs! Thanks for the tip! Congrats on your 40-lb milestone AND making it to the 280s!!! Wooooot!!! Well done you!! What book will you get? Did you decide yet? I think you can definitely do 10lbs in 6 weeks for your birthday! What an awesome gift to yourself.

LaurieDawn: I'm also not a wild child. I used to have a lot of angst over the fact that I felt I was incredibly boring compared to maybe other people but I like what I like and I've come to terms with that. I do also enjoy the remarks that make me seem a little... less straight-laced. I hope your weekend goes amazing. I know how it feels to be the food joy-thief and not joining in with everyone. I try to stay low key about it and pull that trick of taking a bit of the same food as others but not actually putting any of it in my mouth and just eating what I planned. People may notice but I just try not to rise to the snark once I've explained myself. At least that's how I used to roll when I was successful in the past. Now I'm weak as a kitten in discipline terms. I totally feel you about the frustration of people not noticing your weightloss. But being that they're people who see you everyday, it may be a little harder for them to notice. My colleague I share an office with did not notice how much weight I'd gained over the last year until she went on vacation and got back and THEN made a big deal about how plump I'd gotten (which she means a s a compliment, strangely enough. She's one of those really skinny people who dreams of being curvy and plump and constantly tries weight gain diets but falls of the wagon because she "forgets to eat" HA! I have NEVER in my life forgotten to eat. I'm constantly thinking of my next meal!) Anyway suffice to say, it's easier for people who aren't constantly around you to see the change than for people who see you everyday especially since it's been gradual. One day, you'll see they'll notice randomly and be wowed by your efforts!

garnetrising: Your scale is crazy and would drive anyone batty! Hopefully you can replace it soon. I had a basic $6 Walmart scale for years and even sold it (for a dollar, which I was almost ashamed to take) when I was moving away from America.I'm sorry you're having a tough time with your brother! :/ I'm praying for you that the possible new living situation works out.

Slashni: What a great story about the guy on MFP! It's so true time will pass. We might as well keep on keeping on plan. Yay the scale cooperating even if only a little. A little means A LOT in the long run. How was fishing?!

jenjenangel: YOU rock! This IS an awesome thread. I told you guys this week that I was going to try to stay on plan this weekend and each time I look at the cake I think of you guys and I'm like, no I've got this. So yes, I'm totally with you on our cumulative awesomeness on this thread! I'm super frustrated because the scale isn't moving as much as I feel it could be (and yes part of that is my fault with weekends past) BUT still! But I'd rather the scale stagnated as it's been than continue on the upward trend of this year so there Is that. Well done swooping down the 230s!

calluna: I don't mind being skipped and I totally get it. I usually read this thread on my way to work in the morning if I'm not driving but I rarely respond then because it want to respond to everyone as you say, but thinking about it now, I'm never bothered when people just check in, I'm so happy to hear from them and find out how they're doing that I don't mind whether they do individual mentions or not. I'm an iPod Touch reader and often fall asleep with it in my hand. I'd actually rather lose my phone than lose my iPod, it's that serious. EVERY book I've got in the last few years is on there and it's definitely in the high hundreds. I'm an emotional reader and eater. I have books for different moods. So basically I'm an emotional sedentarist. The Fitbit is pretty cool. Sure in a way it's like a glorified pedometer but it's a lot less clunky and I find it really motivating. Like on a particularly sedentary day I've been know to jog in place just to add a few steps to my total. It also does calorie tracking such as it were based on your age, weight , height and how active you've been that day- so it will suggest to you how many calories you've burned at any point during the day. I haven't cross-checked that with my Polar hrm to see how accurate it is but it's a cool feature. I believe it syncs to the MFP app as well and the Fitbit app also does meal calorie tracking and exercise tracking as well if you're into that. You can add friends with Fitbits to the app and get a leaderboard of how many steps you and all your friends are covering all day. I REALLY liked mine so much so that I'm getting another. I've used it with both iOS and Android and it's pretty good with both. Yay all the wonderful achievements you have to celebrate. We're all celebrating with you.

uber: 1 lb lost is better than no lbs lost which is better than 1 lb gained! AND you went on vacation for a good chunk of the month! AND still managed to log a loss overall! I mean... Rock that one pound!!!! You've earned it and totally NSV'd this month with going on vacation and not undoing your progress.

martini: I sometimes binge for no apparent reason either. I start the day well and on plan and then out of the blue, eating a seemingly innocuous post-workout snack can turn into swimming through a box of Quest bars mouth-first, following that up with more and more senseless eating. I think where YOU succeeded is that you were able to stop yourself. And then be disciplined enough to get rid of the other "threatening" items in your kitchen. That's really difficult and impressive and something to be proud of. However bad you think it was, it could have been worse, but you, amazing YOU, called a halt to the out-of-control behavior and found your control. And that's awesome! Well done!


About the workout I said I was going to do the last time I posted, I DiD it. Yes it was half-hearted and I didn't go running even though I got home from work early enough to do so, I instead did a couple of tabata, interval-training-type apps in my bedroom. But I'm a whole-hearted believer in "something is always better than nothing." I'd really rather half-as* a workout than lie around thinking about working out hard. I'm hoping to go to bed early tonight. It's already 23:45 so that dream is slipping away but if I go to bed immediately after I post this, all is not lost. I've calculated it (wouldn't need to if I had my Fitbit- it has a sleep tracker #shamelessplug Fitbit should pay me) and I've slept about 11 hours out of the last 72 and that ridiculous. I feel run down, my digestion is confused, I have heartburn and I'm kind of a wreck. And the thing is that it's not like I'm not tired or I can't sleep. I'm tired, I can sleep, I just need to put my technology away and sleep. I could've slept in today but I woke up thinking I'd get out early, run a few errands and then go to the gym and then instead of going back to sleep when I couldn't make myself get out of bed, I lay in bed working on my Fantasy Football team (for English soccer not for American football). For HOURS. Then I got into some really funky traffic and listened to my soccer team's match on the car radio and we're going through a really bad patch the last couple of seasons and I got emotional and started to cry. In the traffic. It was ridiculous. And I know it's just football but still! By the time I ran my errands I was so emotionally drained that I didn't want to go to the gym but I did. And according to my Polar HRM burned 957calories. So I don't regret going. But I'm really emotional, everything (working out, climbing stairs, thinking) feels like a lot of effort and I know a lot of that is from not enough sleep. So yeah... I'm going to stop typing and go to bed! Happy Labour Day you guys in the States!!!! I wish you a safe, joyful time.

Finally saw some progress reflected on the scale. Only about 0.6 lbs, but it's better than nothing. Of course, I haven't done anything physical yet today and I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to get done or when I'm going to do it. I'm feeling lazy. >.> Thinking about loading up Luna and taking a drive out to visit Will. I'll go through later and do individual responses, but ya'll have a great night.

Hi all, haven't checked in in over a week so I thought I'd pop in to say hello. I got down to 266.2 this week and then right back up to 268.2 (as of this morning) but I'm not going to let that stop me. I just REstarted my journey on 8/04 and have lost (as of this morning) 13.2 pounds. I can't complain. I know that the numbers won't look like this for long so I am enjoying it while I can and planning to fight for ever ounce! I'm tired of my weight defining me!
I have a wedding to go to October 11th so that is a big motivator. Then the Holidays both motivate and scare me to death! My goal is to have a great start, on this journey, by the time the new year rolls around so I can start it more healthy than last year!
I've started a water aerobics class. It's an hour a day M-F. While I don't like the instructor of the Friday class, I love the rest of it. I'm hoping that this helps as I try to add some more exercise to my weekly routine.
I wish everyone luck this week (hope any Labor Day picnics don't throw a wrench in out weight loss!)!

Martini, that's exactly what I use my walks with Luna for - getting me into that mental head space that allows me to meditate and analyze everything that is going on in my life in a non-threatening way. It puts me in what a chaplin friend likes to called "the nothing box". As he says, it's not really that you're thinking about nothing, but that everything you're thinking about is coming and going without active thinking and that, usually, you don't remember half of what you thought. It's a create way to work through things without the pressure of forcing yourself to figure out what's wrong. Lol. If that makes sense.

Meep on the binge. I'm not sure if I have any insight to give or not... I know I get omg I'm starving hungry as I go into tom but aside from that or an emotional issue the only time I think I've felt the urge to binge for no reason is when I've tasted barbeque chips... Usually, that's the only thing I want to binge on at that time, too. It kind of shocked me a little when I realized how much self-control I have to exhibit around them. :/

Uber, I think it comes back to the fact that as bad off as things are for each of us financially right now, my problems stem from a bad marriage that destroyed my credit and being left, literally, with nothing whereas his are largely of his own making. He was given a pretty hefty severance package when he got out of the Army and, to my understanding, it was gone in matter of months. Not only was it gone, but bills that should have gotten paid never did. I simply don't understand how that happens... We're two very different people and I'll probably never understand because of how hard it is for me to justify spending something on myself.

Diane, hope you had a great time fishing! Your divorce comment made me thing of that Brad Paisley song, "I'm Gonna Miss Her". She gives him an ultimatum, her or fishing... he chooses fishing.

Toasted, good for you for getting your workout in AND for turning down the cake.

Jb, glad to hear from you. Hope the weekend goes well and know that you've done awesome in this first month! Down 13 lbs? That's great!


I saw 209.0 three times before the scale gave me 210.6, 212.4, and 212.6 lbs. While part of me trusts the 209.0 lbs, the bigger part of me decided to do averages for today's official weight of 210.4 lbs. At least it's moving again. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised, too. I slacked off a lot last night, consumed way more sodium than necessary and my calories were rather high. Not to mention all of the calories I couldn't track from bits of frosting here and there... I made cream cheese frosting from scratch last night. And then frosted cupcakes. The tip fell out of my frosting bag and it turned into a bit of a mess...