Wow! So much good stuff and support on here! I did read everything, but I am working against a couple of deadlines today, so I am not going to respond individually yet. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the incredible support. This is the best group in history!

I am up 0.2 pounds this morning to 210.8. Long hair don't care. Coulda been worse. A little worried about the long Labor Day camping weekend with the hubby and kids, but I think I'm going to tell him that I need to stay on plan this weekend. There are going to be times when I want to go off plan, but I am feeling really insecure about my ability to get back on plan right now. Yesterday's binge, the realization that I am approaching the Onederland milestone, and the realization that last time I lost significant weight, I gave up at 203 or 204 are all factors here. I will feel better about life if I stay on plan.

Hey everyone! How goes it today?

garnetrising: I'm sooo glad you weren't offended. I woke up this morning and I was having second thoughts about my post and if I was out of line. I'm glad you have a handle on everything and at least have avenues for support.
!!! This is so wise!! I'm super inspired by your way of dealing with this. Thanks so much for sharing! :HUG:

uber: I'm in the #noIpod #noRun school as well. I have been known to drive home from the gym to get my iPod just because I left it behind. Yay on getting back into walking! Can we do like maybe a walk or run- distance covered or number of walks or runs done challenge in September?

LaurieDawn: I've never been camping so I don't know what the food entails but maybe you can plan ahead from now what you're going to be eating whilst your family has whatever else. Trust your instincts. If you're feeling like now isn't the time to relax, then go with that. You can totally rock this long weekend! You're soooooo close to Onederland!


I didn't work out this morning mostly because I didn't go to bed till past 3 am because I stayed up reading a romance novel that I have on Kindle and could probably have read on my commute this morning instead of staring catatonically out the window dazed with lack of sleep. But oh well...#LeSigh I'm going to try and get out at the dot of 5pm today (so in 10 or so minutes) because I'm thinking if I get home early enough, I can work out before I get too tired. I finally buckled down and reordered my Fitbit... It costs twice as much here as it does America but it really helped with motivating me to get moving so it's worth it. Are any of you guys on Fitbit? And/Or do you find pedometers helpful in general? Anyway, I'll see if I can check in later on tonight. I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

The PODS container got here, so I'm busy packing up to load it... but I took a break and saw this article pop up on my facebook feed, and thought it was neat, so I figured I'd share: http://www.iflscience.com/brain/scie...hyz62s5SMF0.99

Also, I wanted to share with you guys (because I know you will celebrate with me, since y'all are awesome like that!) that today's water drop of 1.2 pounds down to 290.4 puts me just past the 40 pounds gone mark!



Don't have too much time, so I'm gonna keep this fairly brief.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who had kind words for my photo. Looking at it objectively, I see a not-too-hideous (sometimes I like my face :P) large woman happy with life in a pretty dress. But who really looks at pictures objectively? Laurie was having self-image issues, and I was just showing that I could totally relate, and that people don't usually see the ick that you see when you look at yourself.

Toasted - I do that with new books, too. I'm a big fan of paranormal romance, because I love the escape from reality they provide. I actually reward myself with a new book every time I hit a 10 (meaning in .4 pounds!)

Uber - Would you believe it's the regular comments from people in this thread about my losses being 'steady' that has kept me on track?! It's not really so much for me, it's just that I'd hate to disappoint the people cheering me on. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's working

Jessica - I hope your mood is improving, and that you have found a better headspace since yesterday morning. Sending happy vibes your way... I have a few to spare. :

Onward to packing!

Calluna-- Welcome back! You are so right about it being a positive and active thread. It keeps me sane (or at least farther back from the edge of complete insanity) through this thing.

Mandy -- I forgot to tell you how hot I think your preacher hubby is. =) You guys look so relaxed and happy together. I glanced through that exercise motivation article. Looks interesting. Happy packing and moving! I am also really happy that this group serves you well. 40 POUNDS IS FREAKING AMAZING, HOOKER! (Did I use that right?)

Lotus-- Inspiration comes in lots of packages. A ridiculous need for a seatbelt extender seems to be yours. Yay, inspiration!

Jenni -- A job interview, eh? So exciting that this is on the horizon. Can't wait to hear how it goes. And thanks for the support and the suggestions. The binge monster seems to have receded for now.

Toasted -- I have been unsure of what to call the 20x weights. I LOVE the 2-naughties! I'm not so much a wild child, so I like to suggest that maybe I might not be as straight-laced as people assume. =) Yuck on the late nights. I get it. I can't trust myself with books when I have a lot going on in my life because I will continue to read the book until it's done. But hooray for exercising nonetheless. I find that low-sleep is my biggest obstacle to exercise. And thanks for the confirmation that trusting my instinct is the right thing here. I have no problem with finding and having my own food to eat, or even just controlling portions. But my husband has a tendency to make comments like, "You never eat anything fun," or "Is that all you're going to eat?" Blah. If I'm not with them 24/7, I can just restrict calories to little to none during the day and eat a decent-sized meal with them in the evening. But it won't be an option. So, I'm just choosing the ridiculous drama with my husband this weekend over relaxing and fighting to get back on plan/feeling depressed with my regain when I'm this close to Onederland drama.

Jessica -- I love that you know how to take care of yourself and deal with your depression, but I am still so, so sorry that you have to fight with it. I'm glad you are feeling better, and I am so excited to conquer the next decade with you!

Uber -- I LOVE that story! And it reinforces Mandy's point as well (which was emphasized by so many people here). We almost never see ourselves in the positive light that others see us in. Thank you for sharing it. And you, Missy, look at you succeed without Kryptonite! This is why you and I are going to be looking back at 2014/2015 as the time period where we finally figured this out, and boy, does maintenance suck sometimes, but check out how TINY we are!

Getting ready to head to the gym for another day of C25K. I met my friend yesterday for our weekly work-out day, and she said, "Wow, you are looking tiny." (Yes, Uber, our word! She is uncomfortably direct sometimes, and she said, "You're still carrying a lot of extra weight in your arms and legs, which is probably why your core looks so small at your weight, but you're looking very compact there." And I saw a friend on Tuesday that I hadn't seen in some time, and she told me how small I was too. No one at work has noticed any loss, and I usually start to get comments at 30 pounds down. I'm not disappointed about the lack of comments, per se, but the lack of comments contributes to the voice in my head that says, "You may be less fat, but people still look at you and just think, 'Wow, she's fat.' " But I am nonetheless feeling much better about the way I look. Thank you, everyone, for the serious support. This is the. best. group. EVER.

So I suppose it's only fair to share one of Luna since I shared one of Will. :P


Uber, yeah, I tend to believe he's adorable, too. And thank you, today's a much better day.

Toasted, thanks so much for your support yesterday. I know what's like to be up til 3am, I was up til 330 this morning. But, lol. I don't get home from work until almost 2am so sleeping until 1130am to get the much needed sleep isn't really a big deal for me. Hope you find the energy to get your workout in.

Mandy, super awesome fantastical congrats on passing the 40lb mark. I remember how unbelievable it felt when I did it and, yet, here I sit only 2 lbs from 50 lbs lost! I'm in a much better head space, maybe it's the vibes you sent.

Laurie, you've got this. I think if you're worried about stumbling, it's probably a good and a strong decision to stick to plan in order to avoid the tiger. I like to tell that little voice in my head to suck it when it tries to tell me how fat I am. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I will say that I tend to get less comments from people I see on a daily basis than those I see once and a while and, really, I'm okay with not getting comments at all. If I'm getting a bunch of comments, I feel like I'm suddenly in a spotlight and then I start to worry about people judging me because I'm losing weight. By which I mean if I've lost weight and they've said something and I decide to indulge in something, I wonder what they're thinking about my choice. Or if I eat healthy and then they say something about my "diet". But then, diet is a trigger word for me anyway... It usually triggers me wanting to punch them in the face.


So, to all of you for all of your support yesterday. I'm in such a much better place this morning. I've thought about it a lot over the years and I know that my bad days with depression tie heavily into how deeply I feel things but the truth is that, given the choice, I'd still choose to struggle with depression than give up how deeply I feel. Because my empathy makes me who I am. It gives me a greater appreciation for life, for other people, and for the small, quiet moments in which life is truly lived. It allows me to understand people and to help lift them up when they're down and that is something I'd never, ever want to lose. <3

As for the scale, it's back to giving me a steady reading. Of course that reading is 212.0 lbs... It would have been nice if it was a lower number but I'm really just happy it wasn't higher!

Just got back from the gym. When my C25K lady (the voice of the app that tells me when to walk and run) said, in my ear, "One minute left," I replied (in my mind), "Shut up, Hooker!" Thought you'd be proud, Mandy.

LOL Laurie - That's the proper usage.

Just decided what I want to give myself for my birthday.

I would like to give myself the gift of being a total of 50 pounds lighter.

My birthday is October 9. That's in 6 weeks. I have 10 pounds to go.

Think I can do it?!

Busy day ladies it's midnight and just getting in bed!!!!

Mandy .....yes you can girl!!! And you need to add another book to your weight loss 40 woohoo!!!!!

Hi all.
Although I came here and read everyone's posts yesterday, I didn't get back to post anything myself. Kind of a busy time here at work. But it is always so nice to see such support for everyone! What a great place to be!

Got on the scale this morning and it was down a little. So that was good. I hope to have a good number to report on Monday. It is annoying to not have it go down every week, but I feel like I can handle it better now. It will take as long as it is going to take to lose this weight. That's all there is to it. I actually read a story by a guy on MFP that was celebrating reaching his goal weight. He had lost 77 pounds, and he posted that he had been working on it for 1700 days. That totally blew me away. I would have trouble keeping going if it took me that long, but I admire that he kept with it. I don't know what his story was, if he lost and gained back, or if it really just was a slow weight loss. But, his photo was amazing and he looked 10 years younger than his before picture. I posted to him that I felt like he was the shining example of the motivational quote: Don't give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Went to the spin class that uses the heart rate monitor. I will say that it is getting better, but that class just about kills me every time. Feels good to sit here at my desk.

Diane....It is so VERY frustrating when the scale does not move!!!! Last year I lost 30 pounds and got so frustrated when it stopped moving I stopped I wish I would have just kept on going!!! This time I realized even if I lost 4-5 pounds a month that would be 40-50 pounds in 10 months and that is still so much progress!!!! Hang in there!

And I got to say....YOU ALL rock!!! Yes all of you rock like there is no other good rocker on earth....(don't know if that made sense) This has been one of the best support threads I have EVER been on and I am so thankful to be a part of it!

Scale was down again 234.2!!!

I'm not sure which is busier - work or this thread! I hope it doesn't bug people when I don't get back to their posts to reply. I want to because I'm enjoying the thread so much and want to give it back!

Diane, you're right... the time will pass, and it has passed, and you're 55 lbs down. Remember where you've been as well as where you're going.

Garnet, I love your dog! I have two Great Pyrenees, so of course I would. Hopefully yesterday was a better day overall. And... depression is a serious business; I'm glad you're deliberate in your thinking about depression and who you are and what makes you what you are. Such introspection is the kind of thinking that will in all likelihood make it possible for you to succeed in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Go girl!

Laurie, I'm finding myself appreciating your direct friend with her honest and pretty gentle critique. There are far two people like that in the world... and I laughed at your "hooker" comment to the C25K trainer. Maybe you ladies are on to something and I should try it!

Fera, enjoy your packing! What a great reason to be moving. I've been moving around since before I could toddle, and unfortunately I'm a world-class packer. In January I bought my first house and I'm really ready to grow some moss for a while. I hope I get to. I'd offer help, but alas! Alaska is far, far away...

Jenni, congrats on the scale move! Keep it up!

Toasted, I'm a bad one for staying up way too late reading something interesting. I read on an iPad, so it's easy to lay in bed, read, and know I'll regret it at work in the morning. I'm an inveterate reader. I've never had a fitbit, but I've been hearing and reading about them and should investigate them further, I think. Anything you'd like to share...?

As for me... I didn't get outside to be active yesterday as it poured rain all day. Bummed me right out! It's not now, though, so I'm going to get out there and do for a little bit. This afternoon I get to go to the pool and run the scoring computers for my older son's swim meet. Nothing like a fun-filled afternoon of people screaming and me breathing chlorine!

I'm feeling pretty good and eating well. There are lots of little things I can celebrate - measurements, ring fit, sleep quality, clothing fit, ability to see the scale past my toes... and I'm quietly celebrating all those things while I work on changing my personal health code. Have a great day, everyone!

Jessica...btw what a pretty dog luna is! I have a 3 month shih Tzu had her at 5 weeks ...I will have to post a pic soon...but she is sure pretty!

Jessica I read what you wrote yesterday, but didn't comment on it at the time. I have been thinking about it since then, though. My husband only rarely seems to come out of his neutral emotion zone, if you know what I mean. He's just pretty even keel, generally happy or slightly annoyed. I have often sort of envied that. But maybe I am really selling my own experiences short. I have cultivated a sense of empathy for just about everyone I know. I work hard at liking people who rub me the wrong way initially, and I try hard to forgive those who hurt me in some way. He hates that about me, actually, interestingly enough. But when my ex finally confessed to me that he had been having an affair for at least a year (probably longer, but who knows? He lies too much to know for sure.), I worked really, really hard to forgive them both. And now, I enjoy a good relationship with both my ex and his new wife, also known as my kids' father and stepmother. And it's good for both me and my kids, though it was really hard. Maybe being prone to depression is part of the package. Still going to think about this, but it really hit me.

Mandy I am not sure if "think I can do this?" was a rhetorical question or not, but I will answer it as though it's not. Of course you can do it! You have been doing this long enough to know what works and what doesn't work for you, and how long it takes for the scale to move on your current plan. You also know what obstacles you have to face. (Moving comes to mind.) So, if you factor in all of these things, shoot for 2 or 3 extra pounds to compensate for the fact that every 10 pounds will be a little slower coming off than the previous 10 pounds, and calculate all these things, you can absolutely do it! Good luck! I can't wait to celebrate your birthday with you!

Jenni It's inspiring to see you stick with this through life changes, the needs of so many kids, and the possibility of returning to the work force. Thanks for checking in!

Diane Can I admit to sometimes checking out the 230s/220s thread to see if you post your weight on the scale? It feels a little stalkerish, but I am always so impressed by your persistence and your commitment to exercise. And I loved, loved, loved your story. When Martini asked me about people not noticing my weight loss, even though I was about 60 pounds down on my ticker, and I explained that my ticker tracks my weight loss from May 2012, I felt like a bit of a fraud, and contemplated changing my ticker. But you know what? I worked really hard to get those pounds off, and even though I gained back almost 40 pounds, it was a relatively slow gain (at least in my world), and I felt great that those 40 pounds have never come back (and never will!).

Planned on going for a walk last night after I got home. If I really want the scale to move, usually I will hit the gym for my regularly-scheduled afternoon work-out, then walk for about 4 miles after I get home. Doesn't always work, but has a fair rate of success. But I just felt bone-tired, so I chose not to push myself. As the evening progressed, I felt worse and worse. I can't decide if I am sick or just tired. Today might be a rest day for me. But, like Diane wrote about a week or so ago, taking an unplanned rest day feels so unsavory. So, I may just pop some headache meds, ignore the nausea, and do a relatively light lifting day.

Also, confession. I want someone at work to notice my weight loss! I am dreading getting into constantly-discussing-it mode, but the fact that no one has mentioned it makes me feel (irrationally) like it's not noticeable. So, I am wearing Spanx at work and a shirt that hugs my curves. And I am going to find an excuse to talk to every woman in this office that I deem most likely to notice and comment. I am also totally embarrassed by the fact that I intend to do this. ;-)

Have a great long weekend everyone!

Calluna! You ninja'd me, my friend. I love swimming. Not sure I would love scoring it, though. Hope you get an opportunity to be outside and be active. It's one of my favorite things ever. And I love the taking inventory of all the things to be grateful for. It's actually one tool I use frequently when I'm dealing with depressive episodes.