I do not post on this thread, but I saw your thread lead in and first off, honey love yourself before all others.
I am an old lady who has been morbidly obese for probably 30 years. I have been married to the same scrumptious man for almost 41 years. He calls me gorgeous, beautiful tells me he loves my body, etc. I have had two colon and one hernia surgeries, gall bladder surgery and an ostomy scar. My body looks like I was run over with a lawnmower but durn it, I am still beautiful. What my husband gives me is RESPECT. I don't care if you have been with this man 1 month or 50 years, stand up for yourself, give him a piece of your mind, tell him it is not acceptable to be spoken to that way, give him an option to love and respect you or kick his behind to the curb, period. You do not need a man who disrespects you. Frankly sweety, your body is yours and not his and he has no right to comment about it in any form. He doesn't like you as you are, tell the jerk to hit the road.
Now onto you. You are beautiful and you need to tell yourself that. Look in the mirror and see that beauty. Just because your body is not size 2 does not mean you are not beautiful. All of us are beautiful, every last one from the gal who wants to lose just 5 lbs to the woman like me who still have over 150 lbs to still lose. Get up, dress up, put make up on and go out and have fun. There is a great world out there and you surely don't have to stay in a relationship with a fathead like he is!
You don't need internet strangers to reassure you that you're not a bag of fat.
What could we possibly do or say to UNdo a loved one being cruel when you're at your most vulnerable?
If you have to insult him back just as meanly in order for it to stop, the penis joke thing, that is one unhealthy relationship. I couldn't get out of it fast enough. If I can't feel safe and secure with my husband, WHY would I put up with it for 5 seconds???
I do not post on this thread, but I saw your thread lead in and first off, honey love yourself before all others.
I am an old lady who has been morbidly obese for probably 30 years. I have been married to the same scrumptious man for almost 41 years. ... You are beautiful and you need to tell yourself that. Look in the mirror and see that beauty. Just because your body is not size 2 does not mean you are not beautiful. All of us are beautiful, every last one from the gal who wants to lose just 5 lbs to the woman like me who still have over 150 lbs to still lose. Get up, dress up, put make up on and go out and have fun. There is a great world out there and you surely don't have to stay in a relationship with a fathead like he is!
GMA22 -- I wish you lived next door to me! Such a fount of wisdom! I hope the OP takes your message to heart. Your words to her are so wise! Please, please, please... post in this group more! We'd love to get to know you!
Oh, and I vote to teach him a lesson, if this is out of character for him. I bet when he knows just how bad he made you feel, he will change his spots... and I'd let him grovel a LONG time. Hold out for an apology and something *sparkly*! You deserve it!
Thank you everyone and I did try and have a talk with him but it turns out he is just an jerk. We broke up because i am working hard everyday and dont need to come home and hear dumb things about my weight. It hurts but i am still young and there are more people out there. Thank you everyone I have low self esteem because i have always been tall and obese but reading posts on this site made me realize that i am beautiful and it doesnt matter what he or the people around me say because i will keep working hard FOR ME!
Brava gorgeous! You are stronger than you may know. You've got it, take good care of yourself first, and everything else will fall beautifully into place. Stick around and fill us in on your progress, and congratulations on your loss so far!
Thank you everyone and I did try and have a talk with him but it turns out he is just an jerk. We broke up because i am working hard everyday and dont need to come home and hear dumb things about my weight. It hurts but i am still young and there are more people out there. Thank you everyone I have low self esteem because i have always been tall and obese but reading posts on this site made me realize that i am beautiful and it doesnt matter what he or the people around me say because i will keep working hard FOR ME!
It is hard to develop self esteem as a child, when you feel so different from your peers, but it isn't impossible and it's never too late to learn just how fabulous you are and can become.
Fabulosity (I love made up words) isn't about a number on a scale or a reflection in a mirror, it's about appreciating that you are unique and therefore able to bring something to this world that no one else can, because no one else is you.
Anyone who loves or even likes you (including you) will see and appreciate what you bring into this world... not just "someday" but right this very minute.
I'm sorry for the loss of a relationship that you had invested 10 years into; but glad to hear that you won't be listening to the nonsense of that exagerrated @$$!! You deserve better.
your better off without him he isnt worth your time
the right person will love you for you ,
I had no problem meeting some very nice guys at my HW of 265 and im shorter than you so it looked pretty ugly on me my weight all settles into my lower tummy not attractive **eek**
but ive never had a guy call me unattractive or fat or anything of that sort they felt lucky to be with ME ,
and he should feel LUCKY that you picked him !
evreywoman is beautiful in her own way your weight does not define you !
It is hard to develop self esteem as a child, when you feel so different from your peers, but it isn't impossible and it's never too late to learn just how fabulous you are and can become.
Fabulosity (I love made up words) isn't about a number on a scale or a reflection in a mirror, it's about appreciating that you are unique and therefore able to bring something to this world that no one else can, because no one else is you.
Anyone who loves or even likes you (including you) will see and appreciate what you bring into this world... not just "someday" but right this very minute.
I love what gma22 said and also this^. These are such wise words! I've always had terrible self esteem, specially as a young child and have been working on it for years now. This is so refreshing to read! We are all unique and special and this is a great reminder to me of how *everyone* deserves to be treated right. I'm sorry about your relationship, mssngheart, but you'll find the one right for you in time, who will treat you as you should be treated!
Oh my darling you will see that not all men are total horses patoots. I am sorry that it didn't work out for you, but so very glad you were brave enough to walk away from this toxic relationship!
My husband was a sailor when I met him. He was basically a blind date. I met him through snail mail through an introduction from my cousin. I almost shut it down because he was shy and awkward, in fact we went out to dinner with my older sister and brother in law and he spilled tea all over the table. I was 18 and naive and he was 22 at the time. When he flew back to Va Beach, I told my sister I wasn't going to see him again, but she said give the poor guy a chance. Well, the next day I got a dozen roses delivered to my house while I was at school. The card said, "Just because I love you!" Unknown to me, he had already bought my engagement ring. He has told me repeatedly he wasn't going to let me go and how much did I weight back then, 185 lbs. I was no shrinking violet. As I said before, in November is our 41st wedding anniversary. We have a beautiful son and daughter, daughter in law and son in law and my sweet grandsons, who are 6 and 13. This man went through an emergency colon surgery when I developed peritonitis, another surgery 6 months later, and another one a year after that. He loves me with all his heart and tells me so many times a day. There is a man like that out there for you, but you must believe you are worth it. You could be some cover girl and if you believe you are ugly you will be treated like you are ugly. I hope you step out into the world with a new sense of purpose and accomplishment because you deserve the very best!!!
I know the end of a relationship (even a not-so-perfect one) is difficult. But, you just lost 150+ pounds of fat overnight! Something tells me your weight loss efforts will get even easier now, without that "glassbowl" dragging you down.
When I read the title of this thread, my eyes got huge and all I could think was "OMG."
That is just horrible! What a vile man he is! I would, without hesitation, kick him right out on his exaggeratedly inflated jerk ego.
Something similar happens on a regular basis to a friend of mine. She has been dating this man for a couple of years. And believe me, this man is no "Magic Mike" material. He tells her all the time that he loves her but she's "too disgusting" to sleep with, and that she "makes him sick to see without clothes on." Just last week she underwent gastric bypass surgery to lose weight to please this horrible man. My only hope is that when she DOES lose the weight she'll see she deserves so much better than him. And so do you.
You've got it, take good care of yourself first, and everything else will fall beautifully into place. 
