Guacamole - I really do know how you feel because there were many times I felt exactly the same way - except for one thing. First off, I'd describe myself as having average looks - nothing fantastic, but I don't make small children run away screaming. I don't think I ever thought of myself as unattractive. I'm not sure how to explain that, because I certainly knew I looked better by most people's standards when I was thin. But gaining weight didn't make me unattractive in my own mind. And I never felt unhealthy, either. But here's a story that should make you feel better. I think in a very short while people may still remember the heavy person you were, but the thin person will be the "real" you. My daughter lives about 600 miles from home. We see each other every few months - 4 times a year on average. So I've been heavy for almost all of her 29 years. All her memories of me are of a heavy mom. OK - I'll say it - All her memories are of a fat mom. Last year, I saw her at -30 pounds in March when I visited, -50 pounds in May at a family wedding, -75 pounds in August at another wedding, and -90 pounds when I visited in October. She didn't have a lot of time to adjust how she "sees" me in her mind, if you know what I mean. She only saw me 4 times while I lost 90 pounds. then we saw each other at Christmas, but not again until April when I went to visit. She casually said, "You know what? When I think of you and see you in my mind, I see your thin face now. That only started happening recently." I thought about that for a long time and came to the conclusion (non-scientific) that it probably does take a while for others to adjust. We all have that way we picture someone in our mind and then all of a sudden the picture changes. I really think that people will start to remember the new you and when the surprise is no longer there, they won't comment anymore.
1987 - my thought would be to never hold back a compliment - just be wary of what you say rather than being wary of actually giving the compliment. I think everyone appreciates "You look great." I'd rather do that than have them think I didn't notice. Or worse, that I noticed but didn't care enough to tell them.
Lin
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