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Old 01-16-2012, 01:01 PM   #1  
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Default Where do I start? (help for a newbie!)

Hello everyone!

I am new to this forum - I just signed up after what has been weeks of telling myself I need to find a support place. I haven't known what is a great website to find a motivated and active community for weight loss and have had little time to do research.

A little about me - I realized some time ago (in horror) that I now weight 100lbs more than what I did on my wedding day. This fact is so depressing that I basically try not to dwell on it because otherwise I would only keep killing myself over it all day each day when it is not something that can change overnight.

I have never been super skinny thin - I have only dreamed of being as svelte as I wished I could be. Instead, I gained a ton of weight over the last 5-6 years. I had 2 children and an extremely stressful time/life period where I put myself dead last. Now its time to face the facts.

Honestly, simply getting out of this "obese" category would already feel like a win to me. And it would be a cherry on top of the cake to then later once again weigh what I once did. But my initial goal is to at least get to a point where I can remotely consider myself as looking good.

I never thought this would happen to me, and am ashamed for being here. I'm officially fat and not just "overweight" but FAT. My wakeup calls started coming when I had some people assume I am pregnant, when I was classified as belonging to a group of "large girls" and much more. It all hurt and I just pushed it away in order for it not to bring me down, telling myself I will do something about it. Well, its time to do just that, cause time just keeps flying.

I have losely taken steps here and there of trying to lose weight here and there, where I would work out for several days or eat healthy now and then, but I have to admit that this is not enough. This is going to take a serious and focused effort and it going to be more difficult than it has ever been before (I am bigger and older).
I have had successes of losing weight in the past when I weighed a lot less, but I never seemed to lose more than 20lbs in any one attempt. Meanwhile, in between, my weight kept crawling up a lot more than that over the years.
I am now at my all time high. And I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

I know that joining a healthy and supportive community will be critical. Is this the right place for my profile? And where do I begin?

thank you all!
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:35 PM   #2  
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You have come to the right place, this forum is a wealth of resources and information as you start on your weight loss journey. Listen, one thing we have in common here is that we are all in the same place or have been. I too have over 100lbs to lose, when you look at the overall number, yeah it can really seem impossible but take bit by bit. Start with 5lbs, you can work to lose 5lbs, then another 5lbs and another...keep it short and sweet and small goals will help you achieve the bigger picture. Have you found an eating plan that works for you? There are lots, it might take time to figure out what works for you but don't get discouraged! Find something you know you can live with, be easy on you, this journey isn't easy, honestly it isn't, but I'm telling you it is SO VERY WORTH IT, in every way imaginable! I promise you, just keep coming here, research, find what works for you, log your food if it helps you, join fitday (where you can log your food and activity level) the only thing you have to do is TRY, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to TRY, if you fail, TRY again and again and again until you get into the swing of things. And come here if you need some advice and help. Glad you are here and starting the journey to a much healther you
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Old 01-16-2012, 02:05 PM   #3  
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Welcome, FacingFacts!

I think having a perspective about "gaining health", as opposed to "losing weight", is crucial to success.

The truth is, for those of us who have gained this amount of weight, we will have to watch what we eat for the rest of our lives. We need to be counter-cultural regarding food, as what is most readily available to us is generally not compatible with health.

If the idea of limiting fats, sweets, and salty things strikes fear in you, fear not! These are addictive, and it doesn't take that long to reset our satisfaction levels so you don't feel like you're sacrificing. If you're afraid of going hungry, don't worry. A healthy diet is satisfying. Whether you choose to make up your own plan, or choose a commercial eating/fitness plan, like InsideMe says, make sure it's something you can live with. You can always change your mind along the way. Be persistent until you find something compatible with your lifestyle.

I have a personal bugaboo when it comes to the concepts of "shame" and "blame". I don't believe any of us have anything to be ashamed about regarding our weight. There are so many anthropological forces (both, cultural and physical), and the issue is too complex to blame ourselves. I think learning to love and accept ourselves in our own skin is also crucial to gaining health. That means enjoying our bodies right now at this very moment, as well as each moment we get healthier.

There's lots to explore at this site, enjoy yourself. Ask questions, there will always be people to answer them. You're not alone in this!

Last edited by Salley; 01-16-2012 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 01-16-2012, 02:38 PM   #4  
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I post this suggestion to a lot of 'newbies' because it was where I made my first mistake. I joined, looked around, got overwhelmed, didn't find anywhere that I thought I fit in, so I didn't 'stay' here for very long. I enjoyed reading others stories but never connected with anyone.

So I suggest you look for a Challenge or Support group to join; small check-in groups make it easier to connect, get involved, and be accountable. We have groups centering around specific diet plans, themes, or age groups, so find one that inspires you and just post to join!
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:29 PM   #5  
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That makes a lot of sense, Penguin. I'm still a newbie, and pretty much stayed in one thread (a daily weigh-in thread) because it was so overwhelming. It's getting easier to venture out now...
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Old 01-16-2012, 09:09 PM   #6  
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Welcome to the forum, FacingFacts. Your other post asks so many great questions that I'm not going to try to answer again. I know you'll go back and read what everyone had to say in the other thread.

I really like this sub-forum because it's very active. There are lots of very friendly people in here. It is very overwhelming trying to keep up with too many places, I think, unless you have tons of time to just be in here, so I agree that it's a good idea to find the spot that seems like a good fit and start there.

This 100 pound club is great for many reasons. One being that it takes a while to lose 100 pounds so we all get to know each other a bit. I think that helps. There are "decade" threads for every 10 pound segment of your journey, too. That helps focus on just 10 pounds at a time.

There are lots of challenges, too. If you don't see one you like, start one - people will join in. It becomes a little mini-club.

You're very frank in your assessment of yourself. That's great, because it shows you are facing reality, but don't be too hard on yourself. Look at the positive. You said it took 5 -6 years to put the weight on. I bet it takes a lot less time to take it off. You'll be doing yourself and your kids a great favor by getting healthy. They'll learn better eating habits and everyone will be healthier in the long run.

Don't feel too overwhelmed at this. JUST DO IT. There is no failure except giving up. You can do this.

Lin

Last edited by linJber; 01-16-2012 at 09:11 PM.
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Old 01-17-2012, 10:09 AM   #7  
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thank you so much for all the response so far! So many truths have been stated, and linJber, I didn't even think about the fact that in a 100lb club people stick around longer and get to know each other better - so true!
I will try to figure out how to set up my profile, story, goals, progress, etc.
I see a place for that in the profiles thread I guess
I stepped on the scale today hoping to maybe see just a little reward and it showed me a pound lower I know that first week or two a lot more weight is shed, with water weight etc and such, and wieght loss overall is not linear, but maybe that's a good thing - cause at least you shed a bunch up front and can start feeling better.
I am psyched to do this!
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