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Old 01-15-2011, 06:47 PM   #1  
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Rosinante's Avatar
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Default Dirt and blooms

So in 96 hours, I'll be tucked up in bed in Jerusalem. Wow, just wow.

At the minute, I'm so wound up:

* Crap, crappy, crappiest work meeting last week. Snarl.
*I am getting so little sleep because I have to take one of the dogs to bed because her dementia has got worse and if I leave her downstairs she howls at the washing machine all night but on the bed she's quite restless and if I go to bed too early, none of them can last through the night without pools and little gifts so I'm on about 4 hours max at the moment.
* Her dementia is making her very snappy with the other dogs, sometimes. I'm constantly on the alert. She's happy a lot of the time. I feel guilty because I'm not giving the other dogs the same attention.
* Although they're quite well, the dogs are all 14 or 15 and I'm afraid they'll die while I'm away.
* Although she's quite well, my mother is 90 and I'm afraid she'll die while I'm away.
* I'm afraid of flying.
* I'm afraid of terrorism.
* I'm afraid my head, which still hurts after the fall 4 months ago, will explode on the plane and I'll die. (It's (probably) a damaged frontal sinus, I'm on a steroid spray).
* I'm anxious about having to share a room, haven't done it in 25 years.
* I'm ANXIOUS about having to share a bathroom. What if I can't go? What if I go too much?
* I'm just keeping the lid on not over eating. I'm going up and down the same pound.
I went to my local corner shop, which has just re-opened after 6 months, and the owner told me I look fantastic, much younger, look really good in my clothes. So I didn't buy the bar of chocolate after all.

At the minute, it seems there's a whole lot of dirt to make just the one bloom but it was a good one.
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Old 01-15-2011, 06:56 PM   #2  
On a break with Baby #5
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That's quite a list!
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Old 01-15-2011, 08:24 PM   #3  
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Oh my word Rosenante!!

I can identify, all the worries before one steps out in a new direction. You're tired, anxious and worried. It feels crummy, but this too will pass.

I just know if you looked at your list, you have done the things you need already to minimize/ take care of most of the worries. And the ones you haven't, release to your higher power to handle.

You are going to see wondrous things. I can't wait for you to come back and post about them.

BTW congrats on not getting the chocolate.
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Old 01-15-2011, 10:59 PM   #4  
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I know it's easy advice to give,but stop thinking about the negative, and see if you can make them positive. For example: the person you are sharing the room with could turn out to be a great friend for life. And I totally relate to the sharing the bathroom thing, but honestly, we all have to go sometime And I agree with Bunti, just think of all the wondrous things you will see. You are taking the trip of a lifetime...I'm completely green with envy! Safe journey!
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