I'm so glad she is back, now the next time you are on the phone with her or what ever and she is acting really crazy, you do know you can call the police in her town and have them check on her. Just tell them you think she may be a risk to herself (and others?) and that could quite possibly get her the help she needs.
Still sending you lots of happy thoughts! You handled this well.
We've done that before. She either sends them away, or once she was fleeing the house as the cops were walking on her driveway, ran over one of their foot, and sped away, drunk, and they chased her as she drove 100 mph up the street!
Everyone is saying there is stuff I can do, there is nothing I can do. Only her husband who would prefer her dead so he didn't have to pay her alimony, is the only perosn who can commit her in her state. I HAVE TRIED. I was told flat out, that only he could do it.
Oh goodness, I really think you may need to distance yourself from her then... I know she is your mom and you love her and worry about her, but she is an adult and now so are you... it's time for you to worry about you, and let her deal with her own life.
I know it was one of the hardest things I ever did, cutting my mother out of my life, but really she is the one who did it herself because she didn't like being called on her games and once again tried to turn it all around on me... umm wrong move. I haven't talked to her in I don't know how long, my life is much more stable and I am able to focus on MY family.. you know me, hubby, the kids.. they are what I need to worry about now. They need me way more than a grown woman who acts 2.
Good luck sweetie, and remember we are all here for you!!
If the police can't help, have you called social services in her area and requested a welfare check? You've probably done it, but I haven't seen it mentioned. Sometimes, they can step in when others can't.
I would call my son who is a State trooper, but he's at SWAT training. He will be home this weekend, I will ask him about his thoughts on the situation.
In the meantime, glad she is safe and you hang in there!
I think it's worth calling and doing a welfare check on her that way if nothing else they have a paper trail of her unsteadiness the next time she goes missing. Maybe after x amount of welfare checks, they'll really jump in and take her options away. We've done a welfare check on a former roommate, as well as my brother before - for my brother, they put him in a 72 hour hold, but he was a minor at the time.
It may shake things up more in the immediate future, but in the long term - you may find comfort in knowing you really DID do what you could from where you are. There are also several suicide helplines for friends and family that are worth giving a call.
Is your mother, or her husband for that matter, religious at all? Do they attend a church? I'm not spiritual by most means, but that may be a type of social connection your mom would be "allowed" to have, in order to give her some kind of ground to stand on. Just a thought.
Lottie -- There is not much you can do. I don't know who is telling you, that you can do more than you have. When they act that way you can call the police and give them their location and they will investigate it, but there is nothing you can do. I KNOW. My ex husband is a nut job sometimes. He was seriously nuts for about 3 months, trying to kill himself cuz I wouldn't let him come back and I did not want to be with him. He had me have the police chase him all over one day, texting me all day about the pills he was taking and about laying in a stream, sending me pictures, telling me I can have this and that, yadda yadda. However I come to find out after everything he wasn't as bad off as he was letting on. He wanted the attention so I would let him come back. I made him go get help, he went to hospital that night and they got him into a program and then he checked out cuz they could not force him to stay!!!! I denied him visitation with our daughter. After about a month he calmed down and I allowed visiation, and I have let him come back (seperate lives), but to help me with getting our daughter to school. If he EVER EVER EVER does what he did that day again, he will NEVER and I mean NEVER see our daughter again. I will have his rights removed and move on with our lives.
Believe me I do understand the helplessness you feel, but unfortuantly there is nothing you can do in this situation. Your mom needs to get help, but she has to want help. Most people who try to commit suicide and don't do it are mainly looking for the attention. Your therapist should be helping you on how to deal with this sort of behavior. Even if the person does commit suicide, this is their choice and you can't fix it. I have had to accept this and it's not easy for me cuz i'm a "Fixer upper" I have to accept that no matter what my ex does or threatens to do I can't fix. I will not be his hostage. I love my ex, but my life is valuable to me and I want to live it. It's his choice to end his if that is what he wishes.
So I'm with ya on family drama and it can make your life **** and eating ****. My ex is 12 years younger, we live in same house again not together, he's still a dang kid and gives me drama. My mom who has always been a loving caring person has turned into this nutjob user person that disownes you if you breath wrong, her sister that lives down here is also nuts, bipolar and refused to get help, omg she can make you sceam daily with her rants and crap. I wanted to move back home to IL, but then realized I have nothing to go home to. My little sister and her husband both alcolics, My dad and step mom are okay, but my dad has two sister and they are NUTS and their kids are NUTS, everyone is on perscription drugs, or alcolics, etc. So alas, I'm stuck in TN with NO friends cuz they dont' like outsiders, and half wacky ex husband and the most amazing little girl. The only thing I have good in my life is my child and that is what I live for. So I'm right here with you on the drama stuff and I really do feel bad. It does help to vent. Sometimes I don't get to do that with no friends, but trust me. Vent as often as you can. It will help relieve some of the stress.
About the welfare check, there should be an office of aging or an adult protective services office in her area, you can call them and request they go check on her. If you can't find that, find the number you would use to social services to turn in child abusers and they can refer you to the appropriate office.
People in the office of aging and adult protective services work specifically with older people and their issues, much like a social worker would with kids in dangerous situations. Generally they will have more experience and education dealing with their issues.
lottie--BIG hugs to you sweetie!!!! Wow. You certainly have been through a lot. I really don't have anything to add, I was just wondering about an adult protective service in that state, but I know all states are different. Please take care of yourself.
Only her husband who would prefer her dead so he didn't have to pay her alimony, is the only perosn who can commit her in her state. I HAVE TRIED. I was told flat out, that only he could do it.
