[doingmybest]

I am very sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know this is a very difficult situation. I think everyone has made excellent comments.

My mother was a violent alcoholic. When she would scream at me or beat me, food was my only friend. My father was weak and would not confront her; my older siblings did nothing to help me.

I made an important decision when I was about your age: I decided what kind of person I wanted to be and the kind of life that I wanted to have. I worked hard to not let the chaos in my family distract me from my goals. I am now in my mid-fifties with a happy, peaceful life - and I am working on my problems with food.

Your father's issues belong to him - not you. Whatever is going on with him is not your fault or your responsibility. You have the right to feel safe and happy wherever you live. The day will come when you will be away from this situation and you can create your own life. Stay strong.

[Natasha1534]

Originally Posted by froggydawgy

Your mom should not be keeping alcohol in the house.
And she shouldn't be asking you to hide it.

Why not??? It's unreasonable to ask others to never have alcohol around just b/c her dad can't control himself. That'd be like all of us overeaters expecting family members to stop keeping food in the house!!!

[duckchick]

True, but alcohol isn't normally hidden. To ask someone to hide it implies that it's a taboo thing, and might cause conflict. Being caught in the middle of any conflict is unpleasant and, as we see, rather traumatizing. Whether it's alcohol, or food, or cigarettes, hiding something for someone else places you in the middle of their conflict.

That's just one perspective. you can argue either side and have a valid point.

[Natasha1534]

Food isn't usually hidden, either. It's a sticky situation either way, but the bottom line is that her father's alcoholism is her father's problem to deal with...nothing they do will make a difference until he decides he wants to change things. We didn't hide the alcohol in our house, but my dad would still be very sneaky about it...he would drink the vodka and refill the bottle w/ water. We wouldn't know it until we went to make drinks.

[CrystalZ10]

Originally Posted by froggydawgy

Your mom should not be keeping alcohol in the house.
And she shouldn't be asking you to hide it.

I agree...he has a problem, and having any booze at all is no good for him or you.
You need to talk to both of your parents, not just your dad, but mom too. You have to deal with your own issues, but you don't have to deal with your dads. You can try to be paitent, but move as soon as you can, unless he gets some help.

[2phatinvictoria]

My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober for three years. Booze doesn't come in to our house Unless his friends ask if its okay, and bring him pop. I asked him why he doesn't want it in the house.. and its because he may be sober.. BUT he still thinks about it every single day. if he gets to tired, stressed, hungry, he thinks about it. So i agree.. that her mom should not be hiding the booze.. its just asking for something like this to happen...... We dont know what hes thinking.. because we ourselves haven't dealt with it.. we are dealing with a different side of alcoholism.

[Natasha1534]

But do you REALLY think that if your boyfriend REALLY wanted that drink he couldn't just go to the liquor store and buy it??? Granted, it'd be more difficult than having it already there...but if he wanted to do it, he would find a way. I just think we're focusing on the WRONG problem here.