I never want to forget how it feels not to fit into the stupid little towels they provide at the gym. Ultimately I'm always flashing my bum to everyone.

I never want to forget that moment of horror when I realized I had to struggled to wipe my own bum.

I never want to forget how my husband's favorite Christmas snapshot was my 16yo son hugging me in pure happiness after opening a present he did not expect. I refused to let my husband put it in his FB Christmas album because I was horrified at how big I looked in it. :(

Fantastic OP! :-)

I hope I will never forget my double chin and feeling the strain on my lower back.

Such great reading! There are so many things I never want to forget --

-- feeling TIRED all the time
-- DREADING the booth situation as many others have said. And going to the same restaurant all the time even tho the food was terrible lol but the booths were roomy!
-- shopping in the tiniest clothing section of big department stores, and wondering WHO ever invented skinny jeans for bigger people??
-- letting my gang of friend 'go ahead without me' on excursions because I couldn't keep up
-- having to put my foot up on the bed to put socks on, and on a bench to put shoes on.
-- the weird 'panic' I used to feel if there wasn't a case of diet coke in the house, and about 14 different snacks every weekend, like I had a schedule to keep
-- worrying about dying young

I never want to forget being on vacation with all my friends and feeling so bad for the guy that stayed back with me when everyone else went Zip lining, just so I wouldn't be alone.

I miss Eliana! I hope she is doing well :)

I love this thread. How do I save it? I'm new to this site so still haven't learned a lot about what I can do.

Is there a thread that tells you what we can do on this site?

I would like to come back to this thread it is very motivating for me.

I am the opposite I am just starting and I would like to use these lists as motivation to keep me going.

After reading this I had the best supper of measuring and portion control in a long time.

I've just begun my journey in earnest. Of course I've gave halfa$$ efforts before but I've never felt this serious. I will put my list here and I will come back and add to it as I go. This is only my third post.
*it's hard to get up from a deep couch.
*I can't ride roller coasters
*My a$$ rubs against the arm of my computer chair and my pistol tears up my shirts (don't panic... I'm a firearms instructor LOL)
*I have to roll off the couch if I'm laying down.
*constantly humiliated by my appearance.
*I wear the biggest size clothes available at the mall
*never let anyone take a picture of me.
*hate going to the dr. because they're not helpful, they just focus on my fat
*Not being able to get fun t-shirts
*constantly knowing I was going to die early
*people never say I'm pretty
*being fat makes me think my talents are worthless
*addiction to the food hangover
*always being the fattest person in the room
*not fitting in a booth at a restaurant
*constant stomach aches
*when a chair broke under me at a private class
*sneak eating
*hiding behind people in pictures (when I can't avoid them)
*people not arguing with me when I say I don't want my photo taken (they don't want to take my picture either)
*hygiene issues
*having the husband say not once but twice "well, you could try gastric bypass if you wanted"
*getting in the floor at CPR training and my hands swelling so bad I thought I would die. I also couldn't reach the mouth of the mannequin because my fatness was in the way.
*being afraid I couldn't get out of the floor at CPR training
*needing the "big" armband for my BP readings
*thinking "I should put some latex gloves in my purse incase I have to "go" in public"
*crying the first time I tried to exercise.
*Crying the second time I tried to exercise.
* (April 2 ) acting like I'm buying all the clothes I took into a dressing room to try on because I was too embarrassed to say none of them fit.
* (April 4) the way my upper arms have fat rolls like a baby leg.

I remember

giving up and thinking being fat is all I will ever be.
fear of riding in the back seat of a car because the seat belt wouldn't stretch.
that crossing a room required me to map it out so that I would not get stuck somewhere.
Never riding the roller coasters at the amusement park because I was sure I would not fit.
Staying home while my husband and kids went hiking (now I not only keep up but can pass them up :) )
Feeling completely exhausted all of the time.

Thanks for bumping this thread. It is important to remember!

I'm updating my list every time I think of something. One day I'll look back at this list when I think I've lost enough weight and say "nope.. you aren't there yet... keep going" Then another day I'll look and say "that seems like a million years ago but you can regain it in a blink of the eye. Don't quit!"

*Feeling like I was wearing 5-10 permanent leather coats, limiting my reach and mobility, always feeling hot, always feeling claustrophobic in my own body.

*Being top-heavy and sometimes falling from simply losing my balance.

*Not being able to sit at the folding lunch tables when I worked at a school.

*Breaking a chair in front of every single person my husband worked with at his boss's house during the company Christmas party.

*Pants splitting in the middle of a work shift. :o

*Not fitting into a booth at McDonald's and grumbling about them not catering to their target customers. :p

*A little girl innocently pointing to me at the store, saying, "Mommy, that lady's fat!" Which prompted the mom to harshly shush her, avoid eye contact with me, and rush away. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed.

*Going to a water show at a theme park and overhearing the family behind us laughing at me, thankful that they had someone my size to shield them from the splashing (they weren't speaking English so they assumed we wouldn't understand).

*Waiting in line with all my friends to get on a ride, and getting to watch them have fun on it from the ground when the operator couldn't get the safety harness to lock over me . . . and this was after I'd already lost 75 pounds.

*Being unable to bend over, and having difficulty getting up off the floor.

*Being told I was too fat to wear dark or bright nail polish, since it brought attention to my chubby fingers .

*Only being able to wear thumb rings or men's rings on my ring finger when it came to costume jewelry (I wore my high school class ring on my ring finger and it was a size 10).

*When my earlobes got too fat to snap on the backs of my earrings. :o

*Being limited to clothes that somewhat covered me, nothing flattering nor even anything I remotely liked. And super-expensive. And eventually reaching the point that not even the plus size stores carried jeans big enough to fit me.

*Incontinence, diabetes, always thirsty, always hungry, always anxious.

*Knowing I wasn't the nice girl or the good worker at one of my old jobs, that I was simply "the fat one."

*Being confused for a teacher at my high school when I was only a freshman there! My clothes, hair, and figure were all very matronly. :(

*Spending way too much time being a doormat out of desperation of wanting to be liked.

*Making runs to the store just for candy or ice cream; sneaking food when no one was looking. Eating frosting by the spoonful directly out of the can. Ordering a fast food meal to tide me over while I was trying to figure out what I wanted for dinner!

*Barely being able to walk across my living room because it would put me out of breath. Not going up any stairs, just walking across my living room!

*Crying in pain the morning after working a 9-hour shift because my feet were still hurting.

*Pretending I was cool with wearing men's shirts when I simply did because the cute girly ones wouldn't fit me.

*Pretending there was nothing girly about me period because it didn't seem to suit my figure; I was better off being one of the guys since none of my friends found me attractive.

*Not going on my first date or getting my first kiss until I was 25.

*Staying with the wrong guy for far too long because I figured no one could possibly love me.

*Not wearing dresses because they'd emphasize my belly and make me look pregnant.

*Being congratulated on my non-existent pregnancy, and then being asked if I was sure when I explained that it was my co-worker that was pregnant, not me. :rolleyes:

*Pants either rolling off me, having to be fastened all the way up to my chest, or painfully cutting into the middle of it.

*Being told not to bother with dieting because I won't stick with it anyway.

*Weighing too much to be able to use a regular scale and believing that I'd always, always be morbidly obese.

*Probably my most embarrassing and possibly TMI memory (you've been warned): discovering that I didn't have enough room to . . . uh, work with at a particular gas station bathroom stall to actually use it.