[ubergirl]

Originally Posted by ledom

So sorry that you were embarrassed. I have to say though that my Dr. told me nicely and I STILL felt humiliated. It is the elephant in the room (I didn't say I'M the elephant in the room ;-)), I don't want anyone to notice it and I sure don't want anyone to mention it. I am in my 50s and no one teases me anymore about a lifelong issue with weight but I still am sensitive when anyone, including my Dr. mentions it. In my opinion there is no nice way to talk about it. So try not to be humiliated, try to take it for what it is, a fact of life.

Thanks ledom. You said this better than me. Since I'm obese and a health care provider, I TOTALLY know that it is the elephant in the room. I know it and the obese woman knows it.

And (not to toot my own horn) I'm WAY more tactful than Nik's doctor. But I DO try to bring it up when the time is right.

Bottom line-- there are things we hate talking about: fat, sexually transmitted diseases... there are things we are getting better about talking about, like depression and psych issues, and there are things we feel comfortable talking about, like cancer. The easy health issues to discuss are the ones where the patient feels like it's nobody's fault. It just happened, like cancer. The hard ones are the "self-inflicted" ones, like obesity. But obesity is caused by a complex combination of environment, genes, and behavior and it isn't anyone's "fault" either. So we need to learn to talk about it.

[Shmead]

Originally Posted by Lori Bell

Well, since this is the most successful I have ever been at weight loss, and now maintaince, I don't believe I would change a thing. I think for me, my whole life I always thought I had to have more, More, MORE. I became super-morbidly obese because I thought I needed MORE. When I finally realized that I didn't need the max, but could easily live with the minimum did things begin to click. When I filled the void with things other than food, I didn't NEED to eat as much.

Everyone is different, but for me, severe calorie restriction was part of the MORE MORE MORE pattern: when I was eating, I would think "if a small is good, a large is better" and when I was dieting, I would think "if some calorie restriction is good, more is better". Learning moderation continues to be a struggle for me.

But there are many, many ways to do this right. The best thing about this site is that it gives people access to all those different ways.

[nik1305]

Wow! You guys have no idea how grateful I am for your responses. I have tried eating 1200 calories a day. It's hard. I usually aim for 1300-1600. I also know that I it would be easier to eat less if I ate better, more filling foods. I was already "back on the wagon" before I went to see the doctor, but he just added to my motivation.. So I guess that's the only positive thing that came out of the experience.

I need to learn how to plan my meals. I am so not a planner. I hate planning anything lol, but I know to succeed, and maintain, I will need to plan. I think for so long I was in this downward spiral(even before the doctor) that I just didn't have the motivation. I am slowly getting more and more motivated. Being on here helps so much. I do agree with those of you who were saying that we need to overcome the 'fear' of talking about obesity. It would be so much more beneficial to everyone. I appreciate everyone's thoughts and input. I guess my next step is to do some researching and find some wholesome foods that I enjoy, and meals that I will actually cook.