I have had weight issue since I was 6. I am 59 now, and although I reached a "normal" weight a few times along the way, somehow I never quite believed it.... Funny.... if I ate an extra slice of pizza or whatever two days in a row, there it was... the spell was broken the carriage turned back into a pumpkin and I was fat again, and slipping faster. I wonder why that is.
I have been reading on this forum for months but never wanted to comment on anything until I read this. I could have very easily written this myself. I have been overweight my entire life except for one brief moment when I lost 109 pounds twenty four years ago. As soon as the scales hit 151, I was off and running, putting every pound plus more back on. I have now lost 103 pounds and am reaching the place where I want to start maintaining. I've never maintained anything in my life and it just scares the crap out of me. I know all it would take would be one good binge and I'd be off and running towards 290 pounds again. I know I'm quite capable of putting the weight back on, but I don't know if I'm capable of keeping it off. This is totally unfamiliar territory to me.
Oh, I SO hear you on this, I am struggling with these same thoughts right now. Even though I am losing weight, I still feel like it is someone else, or that I'll never really get to goal. Every pound lost feels really surreal, because my mind thinks of my identity as 'fat', like I am never supposed to be 'thin', and rebels against that imagery.
How could I want something so badly and yet be subconsciously repelled by it at the same time? I'll never know.
What I DO know is that I am DONE being fat, so even if my mind isn't entirely on board yet, my body will prove that it CAN do it, and I just pray my thoughts and self image will follow along and see me as I really am, not stuck in a depressing, fat cocoon that isn't me at all.
Nebraska, Arctic, I am so glad you are there. I thought I was by myself for a while. Not to play psychologist, but I suspect all this stuff...the bad dreams...the terror, and the ease with which the nitemare can supplant success are all the same.....but of course, you speak so clearly, when you say "the cocoon isn't me at all". In the end ther really is no choice but to persevere and know that we can create positive images with our minds as well.
**ALL YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GO VISIT THE MAINTAINERS FORUM**
Go! Go now!!
I spent a few days in December with 209 on the scale then it did what it always does, thumbed its nose at me, and I'm back in the 2-teens. Yeah, so what. I'm stronger than it is. Really, I don't care. Maybe I'll plateau here for 3 months. Maybe 6 months. Maybe a year. Who knows. I don't know, I don't care. So long as I don't GAIN, I'm OK with it. I have put my poor body through so much, gaining, losing, gaining, losing...I'm just trying to be kind to it. I have been 100% OP about half the time and about 95% OP the rest of the time. Consistency is key.
If you are consistent, really consistent, and keep plodding along...the weight WILL come off. It will. It will come off on its own timetable, not yours. That is the way of the universe. But the key is, don't give up and remain consistent.
Excuse my bragging but frankly I look so darn good now, if I never lose another pound, I'll be OK with it. Nobody and I mean nobody ever guesses I weigh over 200 lbs. It's mine and my scale's little secret. But...one day (soon I hope) I will see a 1 on the scale rather than a 2 and you may rest assured I will start the biggest, baddest thread ever on here that day.
Y'all, you can do this. Just keep plodding. Stay on plan. It works. Really.
The only way for your weight loss to stop, is if YOU STOP doing what's necessary to get the pounds off. And you said you're not going to do that. It is your choice. You have the power. You hold the key. It's your choice, your decision. As long as you keep putting forth the effort needed to make it happen, there's no way that it can't.
You've got to allow your practical, knowledgeable, intelligent side win an *argument* every now. Keep telling yourself over and over and over again that there's no reason on earth why you CAN'T do this. It's a doable thing. Weight loss IS a doable thing for every one and any one. It's not some crazy, wacky, hare-brained out of this world scheme. As long as there's excess fat on you, there's excess fat to come off of you. KNOW that you CAN do this. Because you can and you should. And you WILL!!!!
Last edited by rockinrobin; 01-09-2010 at 09:45 AM.
I absolutely feel that way too. I said it to my physical therapist yesterday, I'm afraid that I'll wake-up and have gained all of the weight back... he looked at me like I had 2 heads, and then calmly, reasonably explained how hard I worked to get here and how I need to just stay focused and on track...that this is a priority for me. I actually believed hm when he said it. I guess it's all part of the process!
I SO needed to read this today because I thought it was just me feeling like this.
The scale has been going up and down between the same 3lbs since before christmas and it's driving me mad.
I'm trying to stay on plan so much but it's getting harder and harder when I'm not seeing any results. I have this feeling of total panic and dread that this is it for me and I'm not going to be able to lose anymore weight, or worse still that I'm going to start gaining again.
I actually feel sick thinking about it and have been near to tears on lots of occasions.
But reading how everyone else is feeling and deals with it I am just going to try to keep going. I know I'm very stubborn, so maybe my body is just being the same way for a while, or preparing itself to work it's way down to onederland in 2010!
Mikayla, we've all felt this way at one time or another. If you go off your plan, you just have to dust yourself off and get back on. You can't let your fears control you. I'm terrified in my weight loss journey, I've never been thin. I ask friends if they can picture me thin cause I can't. I've been heavy since I was in 3rd grade and been in a size 18 since high school. We are all in this together. I need you just as much as you need may need us!!
That post made me feel re-motivated.
OP: I feel the same way, but I know that it isn't logical. Just Keep on Keeping on and everything will fall into place.
I'm glad I could help. I'm very glad I found this site, I have no close friends where I live, they've all moved away. I'm over 300 miles from my family so finding motivation when you're down in the dumps is hard. I meant every word I said. I really do need you guys!!
Destiny - bah, humbug. You can get to your goal. Look at what others have done. Heck look what you have done so far!
It is so important to keep your self-confidence up. I agree that reading the maintainers forum will be a great source for all of us as we hit barriers - mental and physical - during our journeys.
but frankly I look so darn good now, if I never lose another pound, I'll be OK with it. Nobody and I mean nobody ever guesses I weigh over 200 lbs. It's mine and my scale's little secret. But...one day (soon I hope) I will see a 1 on the scale rather than a 2 and you may rest assured I will start the biggest, baddest thread ever on here that day.
