I love this thread and all the ideas you mentioned. I'm struck by how many of them come down to accountability and ownership, at the very bottom line. It's like you have to wade through all your own baggage before weight loss really works. Thanks for posting this!
I had to let go of the idea that I can be only be proud of my weight loss when I get to goal. Yes, I might still be fat right now, but damn if I'm not makign progress!
I'm working on that now! By the way, you look fantastic! I wouldn't call you fat
Along the same lines, I had to let go of the idea that my "real life" would start when I lost the weight. It wasn't happening, and I couldn't keep waiting. Now that I *have* a real life, I'm happier, so it's easier to lose the weight.
I also had to let go of the idea that I somehow "deserve" to eat the same junk as my boyfriend and my friends do. I used to think, well, that's not fair. I'd kill for some pizza right now. But I got myself into this mess, and doing it I ate enough pizza to last me a lifetime. Now enough is enough!
I haven't lost all of my weight yet, but I know what ideas I've let go of that let me know I will succeed.
I let go of the notion that losing this weight is going to solve every single problem and make my world a non stop happy laugh shop. I know that it will help increase my confidence and all of that but the problems around me will still be there and that's ok. I'll just be a lot more healthier and equipped to deal with those said problems!
I let go of the disappointment that I will never have a stretch mark free body. I've realized that I may or may not have loose skin. I am never going to have an air brushed model body and that's ok, I'll be beautiful and healthy anyway!
I've let go of the obsession with numbers and realized that they will fluctuate from moment to moment, day to day. Consistency is key!
I've let go of the ideas that I am not worth this. I don't deserve it, etc. etc.
One idea I'm trying to let go (it's hard) is that overeating or binging will produce satisfying fullness.
I cannot name one incidence where I ate until I was stuffed uncomfortably and didn't feel at least sort of guilty or bad afterward. I never achieve that "full" feeling I seem to crave. I just feel "stuffed," "uncomfortable," "bloated," or "crappy."
I'm working on letting go of taking care of others first and putting me first! It's ok to put me first when I'm grocery shopping, going to my WW meeting, planning meals, going to the gym. Treating myself to a long bubble bath on Sunday afternoon. These activities really don't take that long, but putting myself first, and giving my self "ME" time, makes me feel better.
I don't take my cell phone to the gym or to my WW meeting, that is MY time. Somehow that time has become very precious to me, it's a time when no one can bother me and I can focus on just me, no worries about anyone else.
For the past year or so, I've been dealing with extreme tiredness everyday. I've tried anti-depressants, and while they've helped somewhat, I still struggle with tiredness throughout the day. After some discussions with my husband and doctor, it came to light that I probably have sleep apnea. I wouldn't know for sure unless I did a sleep study, however that's several thousand dollars that would probably result in somebody telling me I need to lose weight. Duh! I can't afford that kind of money for someone to tell me what I already know.
You know, I suspected (well, pretty much knew) that I have sleep apnea for a long time, and I knew it could have devastating health consequences, but I just kept thinking, well, I lose weight and it will probably go away. I could never quite make it there, and finally I got to the point where I was so damn tired I just was hanging on by a thread. Literally using every bit of energy I had just to get through a work day, then pass out on the couch and eat in between. This was after years of getting progressively more tired/sleep deprived that I finally got to that point and asked my doc about a sleep study. I knew it was good for my health to get it treated, but NOTHING prepared me for how much difference good sleep would make in my life and how I FEEL. THAT has been what it's all about -- yes, greatly increased risk for cardiac disease, stroke, etc diverted, but the part I wasn't expecting --feeling absolutely UNBELIEVABLELY better, and THE MISSING LINK for weight loss that I've been searching for for what seems like forever. Hunger hormones acting like they are supposed to (satiety cues, appetite control), the "get up and go" in the morning that I don't recall EVER having. NEVER waking up in the night to go pee, turn over, get a drink - just sleeping right on through and fully ready to tackle whatever the day has to throw at me upon waking. It has been nothing short of miraculously life changing for me.
Losing weight may well help you, and it's most certainly worth a try! But I just wanted to advise you not to take getting a sleep study totally off the table. Because you may find, as I suspect in myself, that *maybe* your obesity isn't causing your sleep apnea - but that your sleep apnea is exacerbating your obesity. I was losing and gaining the same 20 lbs for years, but AS SOON as I started sleeping well I ran with it and have lost 90 lbs since last May, life is just getting better and better, and in my heart I feel like I owe it ALL to the sleep study I begrudgingly went and got.
Quote:
Originally Posted by synger
I've had to let go of the idea that I'm a glutton and have no self-discipline. it's not solely mental. It's physiological. I didn't become obese because I ate too much. I ate too much because my body was over-pushing fuel into my fat cells rather than using it for fuel. I have a disease. It's not easy, and it's not "fair", but once I've learned new tools for my toolbox the weight is slowly coming off.
And this speaks to what I have experienced! I was not just a big fat slug who can't get off her a$$ and take some control. I had a physiological problem that was making it near impossible to get control. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful and feel so lucky to have gotten this sorted out, so that I can get down to the hard work of weight loss -- with all the TOOLS in place.
Okay, I know, I go on about this! It's just the change has been so dramatic for me that I can't keep the good news to myself!
This thread is a real keeper! At the ripe old age of 56 I finally learned that just because I "crave" something doesn't mean I have to have it. This behavior has been so childish and ridiculous. You can get away with it in your teens and twenties but after that, not so much. I also learned to put myself FIRST instead of at the bottom of the list, my constant going to the gym interferes with other things but I don't care, it's about my health now.
Oh my gosh, pagmata, that is really, really flattering! Thank you so much.
I went and had a sleep study, and found out that I stopped breathing in my sleep about 2 times per minute, every minute, with my oxygen saturation levels falling as low as the 60s at times (should always be 95-100%). Yikes! I was prescribed a CPAP machine, it's a mask that blows air up my nose when I sleep and keeps the airway open.
It sounds daunting and scary, but honestly, I love the air now and as soon as I strap that mask on, it's like a Pavlovian response, I fall asleep within 5 minutes. I usually wake up 7 or so hours later in almost the exact same position I fell asleep in with no wakings in between. I go to bed around 10pm, and I wake up every morning without my alarm between 5-6am. It's amazing. I have never slept like this since childhood, so I suspect I have had sleep apnea most of my life. As I said before, I really wonder if I'm obese BECAUSE of it, and not the other way around. I won't really know which came first until I get closer to my goal weight -- but whatever came first, I do know that successful weight loss wasn't possible for ME until I got it worked out.
The reason I talk about this as often as I get a chance on here is because I have had conversations about weight with my sleep doctor. He has told me about some of the hunger hormone stuff that goes so badly out of whack, and that MILLIONS of people have sleep apnea and don't know it. I suspect that there are quite a few here in the 100+ club because of what I have found to be such a huge correlation between obesity and sleep deprivation from my own experience. I obviously still have to do all the work involved with weight loss, but now, for the first time ever, I feel like significant, sustainable weight loss is possible. Very possible!
Feel free to PM me if you want more info, I could talk about it all day long!
Thank you for such a quick response. I was busy reading all of the other responses right down to the first person,careysings, who started this thread. I am just so d***n glad that we are all wising up about what it takes to lose weight. I just wish some other support groups that I am a member of would understand that it is not about exercising to the point of falling down, avoiding "white stuff", drinking water vs drinking diet soda, etc. We all know the "rules" and yet it is so refreshing when someone has the "guts" to admit that it could be something that we often overlook like a good night's sleep.
I discovered that losing "just" 25 lbs opened up new possibilities in my life: being able to sleep better (like you mentioned) since I have HUGE breasts and they were in my face literally. That was the first place that I lost weight---my midriff and bust. I could actually stand longer than 10 minutes which then opened up new possibilities of being able to walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes.
I started drinking water because I wanted to fit in with another diet support group but after I drink 64 oz each day I switch back over to my diet soda. There I said it. I will admit that I do like the water when it is ice cold but it also makes the taste of the diet soda taste even better. LOL I got chewed out by that leader of that group for God forbid drinnking diet soda. She sent me an article (how many more studies are these experts going to do?) that really didn't say diet soda per se was bad for you, only regular soda. Duh! So, now I am closet diet soda drinker. It's human nature, what we feel is going to be judged we take it underground. Silly, silly, silly!
I say that anyone who can figure out what works for them and then proceed instead of the "pack mentality" that exists even in this "world", I say BRAVO!
After all, we don't applaud the fact that you drank 64 oz of water every day , or whatever else worked for you, during your journey, we celebrate that you did what we all want to do and will do, once we listen to our own "still voice", and that is reach a personal goal of health and a new lease on life.
I've come to a couple realizations the past few weeks. Some have already been pointed out but what the heck.
1) Cravings are no different then the 100's of other things a day I can't do as soon as the desire manifests itself. I don't just leave work in the middle of the day and go home and have a nap do I? some days I want to do that just as bad as I might want a donut.
2) same with exercise. I wouldn't go weeks without cleaning my toilet just because I don't enjoy it do I? why treat exercise differently than all the other things I do every day that I would rather not.
3) I have been in control of my eating all along. I'm choosing to shove crap in my face that will make me miserable later. I can choose not to do it as well.
2) same with exercise. I wouldn't go weeks without cleaning my toilet just because I don't enjoy it do I? why treat exercise differently than all the other things I do every day that I would rather not.
Thank you! That visual will help me a lot next time I find myself trying to talk myself out of getting on the elliptical or the bike!
ShannonMB What Helped You Sleep Better?
