Nelie, I deeply apologize for offending you. I did mention that I think this holds true for the most part, unless the woman is taller then the husband. I also didn't mention a thing about a woman not being feminine due to her size, so I'm not sure where you got that from my post. Although I didn't mention it, I will say that I personally didn't feel very feminine at my large size, but that's neither here nor there. I should have also written that this is my opinion. Because well it is my opinion that it was wrong for ME to weigh more then my husband. I'm 5 foot nothing and well it would be *wrong*, probably wasn't the right term to use, it would be unhealthy and unwise of me to weigh more then my husband. Truth is, at my height, it would be unhealthy of me to weigh more then most women.

And you're being 5' 6" and your DH being 140 lbs, I could see where this wouldn't be necessarily part of your plan! But that is something we all have to decide for ourselves. It doesn't matter what anyone else "sees" or doesn't see. It's all up to us. Again, I apologize for offending you.

Back when I was married, I never weighed less than my husband but 1987-1990 then again in 2003 right before the divorce I was smaller than him, at least. He was tall and scrawny and I remember what a good feeling it was to throw on one of his shirts and have it hang on me. (And with these boobs, and him wearing a men's medium, that was quite an accomplishment!)

Now, I could never wear his pants, even during the one interval he "got fat" all of a sudden, went up to a 35 waist, then lost it all again quite quickly. Even at my smallest, and his largest, there's no way these hips would have fit into any pants of his.

But I do remember what a great feeling it was to be SMALLER than him. I no longer felt like Mrs. Jack Spratt. Congrats CF Mama!

I don't equate weight with health but I can say I understand how one can feel better weighing than their husband. I can say I felt good when I was able to wear some of the same clothes as my husband (tops, coats, etc). Also he can lift me which is a bit scary because I still see myself as someone who is over 300 lbs.

I do. I really, really do. Now mind you, I don't think it's the ONLY thing that determines health, but I do think being a so called normal weight is a major factor.

And I'm real glad that you can understand this, even though it may not necessarily be the case for you. Just as I clearly see you not having to get down to your DH's weight. I was *lucky* with that. I did not/do not have one of those skinny minnie husbands. And yes, that was a sarcastic lucky. How I wish he were slimmer.

Nelie,

I'm right here with you on this one. I'm 5'8" and my husband is only 5'6" if you're generous. I think he weighs just over 150...he's slim and very athletic and runs all the time. Honestly, he would have no trouble lifting me right now.

When we first met, we were about the same weight and could even share clothes sometimes, but honestly, I don't think I'll ever weigh less than him now.

I see NO correlation between weight and femininity-- some very thin women aren't feminine at all, some morbidly obese women are very feminine.