If people are upset, of course there's no point saying they shouldn't be; but I see no offence in the OP - when you've lost weight it is just so hard not to share the how with others. No judgement, it's just a passion.
I'm sorry how is it judgment? How is the overwhelming desire to help others judgment? How is the overwhelming desire to want to share what we've discovered judgment? No one's actually gone over to anyone and told them what, how or why they should do so and so and not do this and that. No one. I just don't see if as judgmental
Maybe it's just me, but I always notice overweight people. Actually, I notice people in general. Maybe it's because I'm quiet and tend to just people watch. I sometimes wonder if an overweight chick is struggling like I am to lose weight.
Well, it is judgement, if you went up to people in person, then it would be rude AND judgmental.
But, I have yet meet anyone who hasn't judged another person for some reason or another. We all have things we are passionate about, and it is blaringly obvious when we see things that directly go against this passion. And we judge.
For the life of me I don't know how anyone could get in a gas guzzling suv when men and women are dying in a war for the oil used to stuff these oversized cars. Not to mention what its doing to our planet.
I know most of these people don't know any better. I would love to show them the way.
I know i am being judgmental when i think this. People have a right to think and say or write what they please and people will either chime in or get insulted, so is the way of the world.
It is judgement because saying you want to rip unhealthy food out of peoples hands and telling them to "get off the sauce" is implying that they do not understand that those things are unhealthy....or they are overweight.....or they dont have the knowledge that the OP stated herself that she wanted to share with people.That is simply JUDGING someones intelligence, insitefulness......JUST MY OPINION
I notice too. I also wonder, like you JasonsLea, if they struggle like I do.
Robin, I was here long before you arrived, I supported you through your weightloss just like I offer support to everyone else. But never, ever would I be so presumptuous as to force my vast and perfect knowledge on anyone else. Nor would I presume that I had the only key, and that anyone who has not completed their journey is a poor unfortunate sod who needs my divine intervention.
I'm guessing that none of you have actually approached a fat person, and interjected your opinion. And I'm very glad of that!
I also DEEPLY respect your (and all other maintainers) dedication and commitment to your weightloss. I'm SO PROUD of you all!
BUT,
This was posted in the 100 pound club!
A discussion about how some of the successful losers wish they could *SAVE* all of us imperfect, uneducated...and I also believe economic class was mentioned, people....was BOUND to cause some hurt feelings, and anger....don't ya' think????
I can't speak for Lori Bell, she does have a way with words now, doesn't she? But I don't believe she really meant it in a judgemental sort of a way. I think it was more in a "I'd love you to know what I'm experiencing kind of way".
Quote:
Well, it is judgement, if you went up to people in person, then it would be rude AND judgmental.
Though I still disagree about it being judgmental, I surely agree 1000% that it would be rude to actually approach someone and offer them unsolicited advice. Rude. Inappropriate. Insensitive. Hurtful. etc...
Linda, we posted at the same time. Again, I can't speak for LoriBell - but again I'm pretty certain she didn't mean to be judgmental.
But I will agree with you on one point, seeing how so many peoples feelings are being hurt, I think this may have been better off in the Maintainer's Forum.
I know when I first was close to goal, the 100 lb club was my home for a long time and it was automatic for me to post here. It then became a little bit uncomfortable for me to state certain things and talk about certain realizations and issues. Since this was my original stomping grounds, it took me a while to realize that some posts WOULD be better off in the Maintainer's Forum. And something tells me that Lori Bell is going through the same thing right now. She's on auto pilot here. It takes some time to transition from 100 lb clubber to Maintainer.
I totally appreciate that Robin. I know you would never do such a thing, and I don't think anyone else would either.
There are SO MANY people here who desperately WANT your advice, myself included!!! And we do ask for it, often
It's just the thought of that unsolicited preaching that turns me off, makes me feel angry, and frankly turns my stomach. I'm not pointing fingers at any specific person at all.
Like someone said above, we all judge inside our own minds! But actually pushing it onto others, is positively futile, and hurtful.
I agree that the maintainers forum would be a much better place for this topic.
Last edited by famograham; 09-20-2009 at 05:51 PM.
What an interesting thread. I will say that as I started losing weight, I did start to notice more about what others were eating and buying. And once I wasn't always one of the fattest always, I started to notice that more people had weight issues than I had ever noticed before. It really was eye-opening. In a way I realized that I was a part of a bigger group than I had thought. I really only just ever saw me.
As for the judgment issue, it's occurring to me that if other people feel judged by what someone is saying, and feel hurt by it, that maybe that's more important than the intent of the person who is making the comments. If I say something inadvertent that hurts my husband's feelings, I try to apologize and figure out what I said (or how I said it) that hurt him. If I say "I didn't say anything hurtful" it kind of denies his feelings.
It feels like there's some of that sentiment going on here. Some people are getting their feelings hurt. And although it may not be intentional, perhaps we can find a way to not hurt feelings in the future.
I sometimes wonder if an overweight chick is struggling like I am to lose weight.
on anyone else. Nor would I presume that I had the only key, and that anyone who has not completed their journey is a poor unfortunate sod who needs my divine intervention.
