It's certainly not a lost cause, that's ridiculous. You're only 18, and though it doesn't feel this way now (and might not for a few months) you can lose a lot of weight and look even better.
I count calories. If you want a sample day's plan, today I ate:
-1 hard-boiled egg cut up with salt and pepper sprinkled on it
-a morningstar vegetarian sausage patty
-1/2 slice of American cheese
-2 cups black coffee
-a banana with 1/2 tbsp peanut butter
-a Stonyfield yogurt with 1 tbsp of ground flaxseed
-1.5 serving of doritos (this you probably don't want to replicate -- more often I have something like almonds)
-Dinner: I am having a spinach leaf salad for dinner, with roasted cauliflower pieces on it (as well as shredded carrots and some radish) and Greek Feta dressing.
Workout: Today I exercised for 60 minute on my upright stationary bike, did 3 weight sets (of 5 movements) and did about 15 or so minutes of floor/body exercises. I do the bike every day, the weights every other day, and the floor exercises amount to maybe 1-1.5 hours per week. I should probably do more of those. Your pole workout sounds good and private. Also do some squats or whatever when you can (I do some when I blowdry my hair).
Your food plan or calories might vary, but I find that writing down what you eat right before you eat it, and counting the calories, works for most of us. I also do not go to bed without at least rough food plan for the next day. The number of calories, the dinner planned (dinner is my largest meal, and so what I eat throughout the day revolves around complementing -- I snack more when it's low cal mahi mahi with sliced peaches for dinner and I eat a lot less during when it's high cal pizza for dinner on Friday nights).
I write my next-day plan on a post-it and stick it to my diet notebook so that I can review it the next day. Frankly, I do find myself going to it like, What do I get to eat next? Oh yeah. I'm eating/packing/making X or Y. Sounds weird, but I like these preparations. When I do make impulse decisions and/or decisions to eat food devoid of nutrition, I do it by substitution only.
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