I briefly mention a broken friendship in my "
snapping back to reality" thread. Even though I don't mention what happened between me and my online friend (whom I've met up with in RL and had considered my closest friend) and even though you and I are in totally different situations, your recent threads were what made me decide to post my experience.
In fact, what happened between that friend and I gave me some realizations and is part of the reason I'm so anxious to get off my duff and make some positive changes in my life.
I get the impression that even though you've gotten some good out of this friendship, it has been emotionally draining on you. Perhaps it's even prevented you from finding a relationship that would be less one-sided and much more suitable to your happiness.
Something we all seem to crave is the comfort of the familiar. Sometimes it's easier to put up with a bad relationship/friendship than look for a new one. New things are scary, and I doubt many people get more scared than I do when it comes to this stuff. I've never been one to be able to hang on to friends for long so I tend to cling for as long as I can.
Maybe we didn't go through the exact same things here, but perhaps you can relate to the fact I lived more in fear of losing a friendship than in an the actual enjoyment of having it.
This girl had been my best friend for years, yet I constantly let her put me down and take advantage of me. I literally cried for months when I realized the type of person that she really was. She had been someone I used to relate with and talk to for hours every day, so it about killed me when she purposefully disappeared.
It took your friend days to get back to you. It took my friend nearly a year. And since she's now throwing unfounded accusations and contradicting stories at me upon her return, I've decided not to reply to her. The first time around hurt enough. I can't keep caving in to her drama or subject myself to being second-best in the relationship. Maybe that's something you need to ask yourself as well?
I won't pretend that standing my ground doesn't hurt. In fact, it hurts like ****. But at least I'm healing now, which I don't think would be possible if I went back to her.
Whatever the future brings, I hope you get things figured out, and that you make sure your well-being is your priority over anything else.
