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-   -   It's the innocent comments that burst your bubble! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/169438-its-innocent-comments-burst-your-bubble.html)

midwife 04-17-2009 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ailidh (Post 2702274)
I know she didn't mean to insult me, that was my point. She meant to be nice, I didn't like the comparison.

And midwife, what a truly beastly thing to say to me.

Hmmmm......what I meant was truly that I hope she doesn't read it. I think it would be hurtful. I know if someone wrote stuff like that about me, it would be hurtful.

My point was not to be hurtful to you, however, although it appears I was and I am sorry for that. I suppose inadvertantly it underlines my point that what we write might not be intended to be hurtful, but it can be.

Jen415 04-17-2009 10:37 AM

Nevermind......

All is well!!!

Glory87 04-17-2009 10:45 AM

The media is ALL over the story that the such a surprising voice came out of that body - if it bothers Susan Boyle at all, she can find 100 internet pages that basically say "HIDEOUS WOMAN SINGS" - Ailidh's little story is a tiny blip compared to this news storm. She's not a story because she can sing - she's a story because she's a frump who can sing. She's a story because she came out and Simon Cowell assumed she'd be a joke (because he's a look-ist) and then she surprised him. We were all ready to be William Ho'ed and we got Kelly Clarkson'ed.

Call me cynical, but I wouldn't be suprised if the producers of that show didn't FRUMP her up as much as possible to make a good story and then to later "transform" her into a beautiful swan. A good eybrow wax, flat iron and a flattering dress is all she needs to go from "homely" to "attractive."

I hope this is experience is making her happy - too get attention for a lovely singing voice is one thing, to get attention for a lovely singing voice which really stands out because you aren't great looking seems to be a different situation (and when I say "aren't great looking" I mean, traditionally, TV good looking, she isn't homely/hideous, she's a regular lady who needs a good eyebrow grooming).

saef 04-17-2009 10:46 AM

Hard to tell what exactly the clerk meant by the comparison, since she didn't elaborate. Maybe she meant you have a "presence," which Mrs. Boycle certainly does.

I was interested to find this thread this morning. I've been examining my conscience over my reaction to Mrs. Boyle all morning. I was watching her on CNN on the overhead TVs at the gym this morning. I am appalled at how "looks-ist" I really am. No wonder I am so unforgiving of my own body & its so-called imperfections.

I think she is a pleasant, unaffected person who's had other things on her mind than ensuring that her appearance is anything more than tidy, clean & presentable. And for the sake of human relations, really, that's all that's needed: Tidy, clean & presentable. But we forget this a lot. We think we've got to go a lot further to be "acceptable" in public. I don't know why. We do ask an awful lot of ourselves, don't we?

midwife 04-17-2009 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saef (Post 2702311)

We do ask an awful lot of ourselves, don't we?


And of other people too I guess.

Rosinante 04-17-2009 10:57 AM

I would like to know her, she seems nice, and her voice is nice. Like I said, what made me cry watching youtube was that the thunderous applause was for the fact that she didn't look the part showbiz wise.

I think the cashier meant simply, you look like her to me, nothing more, nothing less. I was upset because, however good I was feeling about myself, I was innocently compared to the woman at the centre of, as Glory rightly says, the 'Hideous woman sings' press storm. I can't think of anyone who'd have enjoyed the comparison.

Devsmama 04-17-2009 11:22 AM

yeah, I usually get Queen Latifah...

irishsarah 04-17-2009 11:36 AM

When I was in high school I used to get "Molly Ringwald" ALL the time. I HATED it!

Now I wish someone would say it. :(

I think when you are working so hard on something like your weight that we are so hypersensative to others comments. I am NOT saying you over reacted or anything of the sort...I am just saying, I understand. Even if the person's intentions were good, it is almost the nature of the beast to look at it critically.

TJFitnessDiva 04-17-2009 11:38 AM

I don't think it was a comparison to be hurtful, only you can judge the tone the clerks voice was when she said it. If she did it innocently then she probably meant it as a compliment. Susan Boyle looks like she has a lot of spunk even if they had her seem quiet and almost shy at first :)

kaplods 04-17-2009 12:04 PM

My husband and I were watching a clip of Susan Boyle (we were channel surfing, and didn't even catch the part about her singing). My husband made a comment that I won't repeat here, because it wasn't very nice.

When I saw the full clip and heard her sing, I took a better look at her, and realized that she wasn't really ugly at all. Her body wasn't all that bad, either. With just a tiny bit of polishing, she could be quite attractive. One small feature can make a person seem unattractive. I think for Susan Boyle, it's her eyebrows. A good eye brow waxing and she'd be nice looking.

I used to watch a show on TV Guide channel that did celebrity look-a-like makeovers. It was funny how someone could have a strong resemblance to a very attractive celebrity, and yet be UNATTRACTIVE - it was like "you must be so-and-so's ugly brother/sister."

The reverse would happen too, a very attractive person would audition who strongly resembled an unattractive celebrity. I did notice that the show never did THOSE makeovers.

JayEll 04-17-2009 01:00 PM

In my exceedingly humble opinion....

The POINT is that it's NOT HOW YOU LOOK!!!!!!! Man, I can get so worked up over this!

Yeah, she's no fashion statement! So what??? The POINT is MUSICAL TALENT! And she has that. Her voice isn't just "nice." It's an amazing, stage-ready voice. Her pitch is superb, her delivery was perfect, she did not make a single misstep. She is a natural TALENT! And the thing is, had she been a frumpy looking guy, a lot more people would have been willing to wait and see... instead of judging from the appearance.

I thought the whole performance was a complete revelation of the stupid, shallow judgments that all of us, including me, make every single day.

OK. To the original poster--the comparison was probably stupid and shallow, just like all of these sorts of judgments are. No need to take it personally, though, because the individual who made the statement knows absolutely NOTHING about you! Or about Susan Boyle, for that matter!

All right then.
Jay

Redflame 04-17-2009 02:29 PM

THighs Be GOne:

If you look like Monica Lewinski be proud....and know YOUR dress is clean!

Jen415 04-17-2009 02:36 PM

Would Susan have gotten this much attention if she looked more like a model than a housefrau? Not sure.......

And who knows....maybe Susan will WANT a makeover! Can't wait to see how the show turns out!

JulieJ08 04-17-2009 03:15 PM

I once had a kid in a drive through who thought I *was* Dana Delaney. He didn't believe my denial, I heard him telling his co-worker :) I weighed about 180 then, and she sure didn't. I was also not dressed up at all. But anyway, I think when we remind people of someone, it could be for lots of reasons: our whole face, just our eyes, our general appearance and dress and manner, maybe it's the hairstyle. Or the way we talk.

rockinrobin 04-17-2009 07:23 PM

I don't know where I've been, but I haven't heard a thing about Susan Boyle until this thread.

I just saw her on youtube. And she is AMAZING. I found her to be adorable, charming, gutsy, unaffected and MUCHO, MUCHO talented. AND not so harsh on the eyes either, for that matter. Even before she started singing, the first thing that came to my mind was, "this is a very pleasant looking woman".

Again, I haven't heard all the furor. But I can't believe with a voice like she's got that anyone's got the gall to talk about her looks. What is wrong with people?


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