i find online "family"/friends to be a better support for me. not sure why, possibly because real life family and friends are much to personaly involved or something. i cant quite figure it out.
Last edited by MysticPoet; 05-07-2002 at 12:23 PM.
I find my family and friends at home are the real support. My family is always cheering me on and friends from my TOPS group are praying for me all the time. I do get alot of support from my friends on line I just feel the ones here in person are better support system for me. I also love the support I get from everyone here.
From my family.... the support is just not really there. I'm sure if my mom & sisters started seeing HUGE changes, it may be different. But they've always been so materialistic..... Their weight "problems" to *ME* are so minimal. My sisters range in size from about a size 2/4 to a size 8/10. Beautiful... popular.... wealthy... Then there's me, the outcast. I'm not trying to grab sympathetic hugs, because that's just the way it has always been. I tend to follow the Knutson gene pool. Sturdy, plump, stout Scandinavian women. Could live on carbs alone. It's crazy.
In my experience, online friends like you less for the way you look on the outside. They get to know your inside persona (if you are truthful, and they honestly care). You can meet others who you have *SOOOO* much in common with. You never have to feel guilty about your mistakes, because others have "been there". The support is so much more unconditional.
Hey, you got no option for those of us who have perfect balance!!! I guess I'll go with online, because Johnny has a tendency to see me pout, and wanna buy me ice cream, stuff like that...
icewoman: then you got the world a fully supportive family is actualy quite hard to come by anymore. in a society where we are taught to be loners and ignore everyone elses problems for our own, it is honestly awesome to see some people have a good tight family setting
sakk: just know that we are here for you through "thick and thin" (been waiting to find a time to say that here ) you just stick with us and we will walk you into becoming more beautiful than your sisters
sinner: i tried modifying it after i made it to include that, but it can only be modified by a moderator
Steven...I can't vote! I am blessed to have both, too. My best friend lost 100+ lbs within the last couple of years, so she KNOWS!! And my mom, bless her heart, is cooking the way I need to eat now. And I also have a wt-loss group that I go to all the time and they are GREAT!!
And then, there's here!! What can I say...this place is awsome. And all of you are SOOOOOOO supportive...I live a charmed life right now! Thanks to all of you!!!
(And my friends stick by me thru 'sick and sin'!!!)
actually, your questions weren't all that easy, steve...
my family is crazed, and not exactly supportive, except for one of my sisters. i think they just don't always know how to help. and my mother has alzheimer's so she's just, well, she's just herself.
friends have been absolutely fabulous, always there, always supportive. but they have families and busy lives, so i can't be in their faces all the time.
online support is great... it's possible to post something about all those frustrations, and someone will have something warm and sensible to say. i've been so grateful for all the support i've gotten from these boards.
I really wish I could say it is my family that is the most supportive but I just don't feel like I have them 100% the same way as I have the people here at 3FC.
My mom has been on my back about losing weight for over 22 years starting when I was just 11. She still hasn't learned yet that nagging at me gets nowhere. Also her idea of a diet is not eating any bread, eating very low calorie foods, eating practically the same food every day. Yet this woman smokes, never exercises, has high blood pressure and has the nerve to nag me about losing weight.
My husband is semi-supportive. It drives him nuts listening to me talking about points or calories or whatever. I think he is a little more impressed with WW as it is actually working! He also thinks that I am depriving myself of eating what I really want to eat. Yes I'd love to eat the same way I did before but that is what got me to this point. He hasn't quite figured out that you have to make some sacrifices in order to lose weight. And in the end are they really sacrifices?
My husband's family are all slender and therefore have no clue what I am going through. As well we are not close enough that I would ever confide anything to them about this.
So there you go. After thinking about it, having people who know how I feel about being overweight and the struggles that come with trying to lose weight are more important to me than any support I might get from my family at this time.
My friends and family are really very supportive but of course as true as that statement is they have seen me succeed and fail so many times that the doubt lingers in their eyes and a trace is reflected in their words and attitudes. That can be a killer upon occasion to the happiness when I succeed but after all. They are used to me being and acting a certain way. As I change it is a bit uncomfortable for them but they try so hard not to show it that it is quite endearing. Mom will soon be 80 and at that age she often talks first and thinks later! She and Hubby want all those things I cannot breathe. The junk. I have to cook for them and make goodies which can sometimes be difficult but I found I have to keep my attitudes straight about what I am doing and why.
Back in September of last year I realized I had better reach out and find those who live what I live and fight the battles I fight. We so often have our ups and downs but this board has been a Godsend to me. Here everyone knows what I have to deal with , everyone has been there or is there now. Inspiring people who have reached goal or close reminds me the battle is not only worth it but in my reach. Here I have had support through laughter and sorrow. Success and failure. Here I am at home in my deepest darkest corners of my being and can be totally open and honest about anything. So as important as my family support is and as vital. This place, all of you are what makes my success,
my goal a reality. My family has always been there as have my friends and are golden but you all are the titanium. This group and the LOw Carb group I always come back to because you are the wind beneath my wings, the platform that assures me I will get there ........and I am.
Pam
At first I felt a bit guilty because my first instinct was to say my "online friends". But then I thought about it..it's the truth. But not only with just my weightloss, with alot of things in my life.
I love my family, and they never make me feel bad about my weight. It's actually really never been a topic. But as far as being "supportive" in any aspect, no they aren't. They aren't unsupportive, just kind of there.
That sounds horrible. I don't know how to explain it. lol
I voted for a mix of both. My family is supportive ~ encouraging when I do well, and there with kind words and more encouragement when I mess up.
My husband is sort of frustrating sometimes. He is encouraging to me when I am doing well, but just totally can not understand why I mess up. It sort of hurts that he does not understand, and he gets frustrated with me as I try to explain, because he just can not make any sense out of it ~ at which point he throws up his hands and won't even try to understand.
He had been thin most of his life, then the 40's hit and he gained. His cholesterol and blood pressure were high, and his dr. put him on a diet. He had about 50 pounds to lose. He changed his life style, and lost the weight and has kept it off for about 2 years now. He never messes up! He doesn't show off about it or anything like that and make me feel bad, but it is just hard to live with someone who never messes up and does not understand or want to understand me and why I do.
My family all live far away. My mom and I wish we lived closer, because we would like to walk together. But on the other hand, maybe it is a good thing we don't live closer together, because I have a feeling we could get into trouble together with the food.
So, this brings me to the part of the on-line support. Because my family is far away, being able to come here and share with people who understand had been so much help. Everyone here is wonderful!!!
I would have to say that I get support from both my "real-life" friends and my "online" friends. My husband is supportive, although it tends to be not tremendously consistent. I am fortunate enough that one of my close friends and her husband are both on Weight Watchers (she's already lost her weight, and he's getting close to goal!) so that really helps to have support from her when I need someone who will really understand. My parents and my brother are also very supportive and encouraging as well.
As far as my husband, he really has been wonderful, but sometimes he just doesn't understand what it really takes to do this. He has been thin as a rail his whole life, and then put on the right amount of weight, and is very fit and muscular. Because he's never fought with being too heavy, its hard for him to understand what its like to lose weight. So, that causes snafoos every so often, but for the most part he really is great. This past week when I came home having lost almost 4 lbs, and having my ribbon from ww, he jumped up and gave me a huge hug! He's also bought me "Yay for you" presents as well
Support
I guess I'll go with online, because Johnny has a tendency to see me pout, and wanna buy me ice cream, stuff like that...
