I don't understand why people feel it is ok to say things like that just because you are losing weight now. Like, the fact that you have lost some weight makes it ok to say rude things about the way you "were". It's not right. My husbands aunt said to me one time, "if you don't over eat, why are you so heavy". Let me tell you, she's lucky she's 350 lbs herself & could squash me, cause I should of punched her in her stupid face. Why would you say that to someone? Especially when you should KNOW what it feels like to struggle with weight. You really should say something to these people about how you feel. Let them know it's not ok now to say things about the way you were because it's not nice & you just plain don't want to hear it. Don't let them get you down. You have your own reasons for being on this diet & trying to get healthy, don't let a bunch of jerks ruin that. Especially if your reasons have NOTHING to do with them, they have no right to say stuff like that.

Wow. That is over the top.

What is with people feeling they can speak freely about weightloss and how much better you'd be when you're thin?!?!?! This annoys me to no end. So what if we are bigger, we have a lot of qualities probably better than those insulting us and do we call them on it? NO

This has always been a huge pet peeve of me, double ended compliments. I once had a guy friend say I was the sexiest bigger girl hes ever seen. Compliment? NO not to me, it made me cry.

I feel like weight in general people are very out spoken about and its not fair. I feel like telling the next person who insults me or anyone on their weight, that maybe they'd look a little better if they got that big ole' nose of theirs taken care of! HAH, sorry about my little rant, but I just think its so unfair that this area in particular people are so rude about!!

I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I know how painful this must be for you.:hug::hug:

My aunt used to touch my back and ask me if being so fat hurt. ****. I wanted to go crazy. Her husband, I won't call him my uncle, used to make fun of me and act like he had a hard time walking around me. The last straw was when there was a large male singer on TV and he told me that I looked just like this guy. I visited them one more time and never saw them again. They got very upset because I never returned to their home, but I could no longer take their insults.

I am not convinced that mean-spirited people like this do not know what they are doing. When they are older relatives, I think they know that they are pulling this crap deliberately. In regards to friends when they do this it might be because they have no manners. I cut loose of friends like this a long time ago. The same goes for boyfriends. It's bad enough that I have to struggle with losing weight, dealing with the psychogical part of it and then to have to tolerate an abusive friendship. Life is too short. We have to love ourselves first and foremost.

I don't really think there is ever time where one can hear this kind of stuff. It's just rude.
I hate to say it, but be prepared for a lot of people to have foot-in-mouth disease when it comes to comments as you progress.

I got one where someone started off well, saying I looked great, then followed that with "You were *so* huge before" and then proceeded to make things worse.

Just remember that their thoughts and comments have absolutely no bearing on where you are now, or where you came from. You're doing great!

*hugs*

Some people can be down right mean....I think I hate the underhanded "compliments" more than the ones that just blurt mean things from their mouth though esp when coming from people you know.

I saw a family friend over the weekend and she had the nerve to claim that I looked great and it's so nice that I decided to better myself and not be lazy *eye roll* Whatever....blah lol What can ya do except look at them like they have poop on their head? I will have to steal Photochick's advice for next time. The holidays are coming so I know they'll be plenty of chances for that!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU so much everyone. You have no idea how reading this has lifted my spirits.

I am so shocked I guess to hear that so many others have heard the same things. I hate living in a culture where it's still socially acceptable to make fun of fat people... even ENCOURAGED to make fun of us.

I picked myself up. Had a great on plan day and called my friend.

I told her that I am not at that point where I could hear things like this and that it was very hurtful. She got all defensive and then finally appologized. Thankfully.

I do need to get a backbone where these things are involved. I can tell off a stranger but never my friends. That has to change.

Thanks again ladies :)

Good for you!

I am glad you told her how you felt. even tho, i dont see how she could not have known that that was not an appropriate thing to say, at any time in your journey. no one wants to hear that they were thought of as a heart attack waiting to happen! If she wants to say something about how far you've come, it should be positive, not negative.
although, everytime I come into work... this skinny co-worker of mine (who is just trying to be supportive, and kind) says "hey skinny, you are looking so good" really loud in front of the whole department....It makes everyone look at me, which makes me feel VERY uncomfortable. especially since I am NO WHERE near being skinny :) I do appreciate the positive comments, but its still not easy in a room full of people. (sorry, i sort of got off of the subject a little :P

That's great that you were able to talk to her - that takes a lot of guts and gave her something to think about.

Just think if your comment gives her pause the next time she was going to make a comment to you or to another person who is overweight. If she learns from you, you just might be keeping one of us from getting a disheartening comment from her too! :)


http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...OYl/weight.png

Gosh...I am so sorry you had to deal with that. :hug: People sometimes don't know how dumb and hurtful they are when they say things.

You are doing SO well...you've made terrific progress.

If you can....TRY to be 'teflon' and let those hurtful words slide off. You know your reality - she doesn't.

Take care and carry on! :D

:hug: I'm so sorry someone had to be so rude and something so hurtful to you. I would of cried as well. I want to cry just reading that! Instead they should be telling you how proud they are of you.

These sort of comments make me furious - you really should say something to these people if you haven't already.

cfmama, gather all those crappy comments and use them to your benefit!