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Old 09-05-2008, 04:18 PM   #1  
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Unhappy what do YOU do when.. (tiny vent)

What do you do when you need to destress instead of reaching for the comfort food?

I work nights (a lot of forced overtime turning 8 hours in 12 or 16 hour days), my job is already very stressful as a 911 operator, sleep (6 hrs) while my son is in school then get him off the bus. Then we have homework, etc.. Usually takes until about 4:30-5ish before we are done. Not a big deal, my life could be way worse right?

Well, my sister and her 3 kids 5 and under just moved into my 2 bedroom house with me, ds and df . It was an emergency move and completely unexpected. We couldnt be more different if we tried. I love my sister, Im sure she loves her kids, but she is not the best parent. Shes very lazy and irresponsible, and we have totally different ideas of how to raise kids. While I have guilt saying that about her, I can because it's very true. Its not an opinion just a fact.

Anyway, I am up to my ears in stress and it will continue so for probably a few months. I am already ready to pull my hair out.

Anyway, here's my point...what do you all do for stress. I am ready to just shove my face with food, even though I will feel bad about it later. Leaving the house is not always an option (walks etc.) so things that DS and I can do together in an another room ( I can't ask her to watch him while I leave for a moment most of the time.). Btw ds is 6 yr old.

I just started back on track again, I have a long way to go and I've already lost at least a day and a half depending on what I do with the rest of today.

Im usually very laid back but OY I feel like I now have 5 kids!

Btw, Im hoping this doesn't come off really harsh and cold sounding towards my sister

Last edited by S.A.S.H; 09-05-2008 at 04:19 PM.
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:40 PM   #2  
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When anxiety starts to chew at me...I chew back. With sugarless gum.

Or I have a cup of green tea. The caffeine helps me focus better.

Or I watch a movie with my husband and request a mondo-awesome backrub. (He sits on the couch, I sit on the floor in front of him while we're watching. Mmm.)

Or I bury myself in something fun that's not food. Like one of my hobbies.
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:43 PM   #3  
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How about read?


Take your son for a walk with you?

Eat something crunchy and healthy (carrots, celery, etc)?

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Old 09-05-2008, 04:44 PM   #4  
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I know you said walks aren't always possible, but how about taking DS to a nearby park and playing soccer or tossing a ball or something? It will get him out of the house as well.
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:15 PM   #5  
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It helps to have headphones, if there's a lot of noise, so that you can have some peace and do some reading.

I will make a cup of herbal tea--something like Egyptian Licorice Yogi Tea or one of the calming teas. Just making the tea sometimes helps.

Having snacks around that I can eat without guilt is also very helpful. Things like raw vegetables, fresh fruits, cantaloupe, etc. Or for salty snacks, green olives. Salad spritzers really help with raw vegetables, too--and there are also low-cal or low-fat dressings.

Exercise is good for stress reduction, too.

No need to explain about your sister and her kids--but maybe if you set a time limit on their stay, it would give you some peace of mind and not leave you in an open-ended state.

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Old 09-05-2008, 08:19 PM   #6  
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Wow, I got nuthin', but I live in fear of the very same situation happening to me, and I'm stressed just thinking about it! Hang in there!
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Old 09-05-2008, 09:28 PM   #7  
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While this may not apply to you - I usually pick a really angry chick song and pull out my guitar and wail on it for an hour. Singing at the top of my lungs just makes me feel like I just kicked a log for an hour. I heard a punching bag and head phones can really make a difference.
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Old 09-05-2008, 10:46 PM   #8  
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Is there any space you guys can go to hide from it all- like your bedroom maybe? I think it'd be nice to lay in bed and read aloud to your son, maybe since you know it'll be a few months a least you can pick a short series or something... I remember a particularly stressful time when i was about his age & my mom was babysitting a terrible kid, my dad would hide out with me in their room and read Trixie Beldon books to me. It's a good memory I have of being a kid.

Another thing that helps me de-stress is coloring! I totally have a coloring book and crayons in my desk at work and it helps! It's something you two can have just for yourselves if you want. Game night?

if all else fails you can always lock yourself in the bathroom for a bath or just to stand in the shower and scream
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Old 09-06-2008, 07:06 AM   #9  
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How about meditation. I know it sounds hokey...but, it's really effective. You can find these CD's online or at some music stores. It's about deep breathing, concentration and more. It's very helpful.

Sorry about your stress. I hope that your sister and her children can work things out soon and have their own place. You are very kind and generous to bring them into your home. I hope they don't abuse that kindness. Transitions are very stressful to everyone involved. Hang in there.
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:57 PM   #10  
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Sounds like you'd benefit from some quiet time. Perhaps suggest your sister take the kids to the library or the park or somewhere when you're off work, from time to time, so that you experience some "ownership" and solitude in your home?

With your stressful job, do you regularly have debriefings? You're dealing with so many crises, it would be good to have a way to let that out.
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Old 09-07-2008, 09:15 AM   #11  
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I had this SAME THING happen to me. You have to have rules. Set your sister straight. Tell her what you expect her to do for YOU while she is living there. Sit down with her and say " I will cook Monday, Wednesday and Friday and you can cook Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and we will do it together on Sunday" "You do the laundry and I will vacuum the house" She will either step it up or LEAVE !!!!! lol
Buy yourself some healthy snacks and HIDE them. I agree with the herbal teas and nice lavender bubble baths. Put a radio in the bathroom and crank it up, and escape. Hey, this is your house, this is your life and you are willing to help her out, but if she doesn't like it........................................
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Old 09-07-2008, 08:13 PM   #12  
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I really feel for you about the hours part - I have a job that never seems to end and ALWAYS follows me home...reports that were needed yesterday, managers hopping mad about recruiting, employee requests, NEVER ends.

As dorky as it sounds, I love to come home, change into comfy PJs and clean. Doesn't matter what it is - laundry, scrubbing toilets, changing sheets, anything. Cleaning makes me feel like I've accomplished something I can appreciate visually - I dunno, maybe I'm weird that way.

I hope things get a little smoother for you at home. I'm not a fan of most of my relatives either - you're a much better person than I for letting your sister stay with you for the next few months!
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Old 09-07-2008, 10:22 PM   #13  
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Thank you all so much for your support. I was really worried about how my post might come off. I didn't want to seem harsh or burdened by my family ya know?

You all have some great ideas. I love the story time idea too. DS would love that he's such a little bookworm I think I am just going to try and take as much as possible out in exercise. Just walk and vent or something. I can take DS with me, and we both get the benefits. My house is just a townhouse so while we escape to the room when we can..the sound carries.

We have definitly set some boundaries and expectations down. She has a time limit (or else she'd stay forever ) and a lot of depends on how much we can make it work. I don't have the crappy stuff in my house, it's fighting the urge not to hit the drive thru! Sokay though... I can do it or at least try my hardest.

Thank you all again, you really have helped me feel better.
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