I totally understand and sadly have to say been there done that. Many many years ago, while walking home one day these bunch of kids playing on the street yelled 'fatty' to me. I was shocked, sad and almost in tears cuz it was painful. I was only a teenager and I wasn't even that overweight back then. But it hurt a lot and to make matters worse when I told my mom instead of hugging me she said 'see that's why I keep telling you to lose weight.' It was too much for me back then. I stopped walking past that street for fear of being called names again. It was not easy.
And I just finished writing on my blog this morning how my SIL is turning into this monster after she lost all the weight and humiliating me in her own way. So the world is full of cruel people and you cannot change everyone but yourself. You did the right thing by walking away cuz there's not much you could have done with those kids. It's a shame though they acted that way.
I'm sorry! Kids can be very cruel. I am not so sure I would say anything either.
I was fortunate enough (or maybe not??) that I was not picked on during school. I was always popular. I didn't experience the pain of being picked on until I got older...and bigger. One time, my best friends son, who was maybe 6 at the time, asked me very loudly in the middle of a big mall why I was so fat. I was mortified. It's almost as if the world won't notice you are fat if it is not talked about or something. I then had to explain to him why I was fat. Two girls slightly younger than me...maybe 18 or 19 were standing by cracking up. So that was hard. I don't blame the boy at all. I know why he asked and it was because his father is a vegan and tells his children that meat makes people fat.
I also remember a time at the mall....again...with the same friend. I think some little girl or boy said something about me. I didn't quite catch what he/she said and actually didn't even notice the kids until my friend turned around abruptly and was telling them how inappropriate they were behaving and his/her mother would be ashamed. She never did tell me what they said. Had I heard the kid, I don't think I would have the guts to say something back. It's almost more embarrassing to acknowledge the comment.
Anyway, I am very sorry those rude little brats said that to you. No one deserves to be disrespected and I actually feel more sorry for them. They are the pigs for acting that way.
About 3 years ago, when I was a size 13 juniors, I bought this cute little skirt (it hit me maybe 2 inches above the knee) and top. I was chunky, sure, but I didn't think I was large enough to warrant heckling... Well, my friend and I were at the mall and I had on my new outfit. This girl who weighed about 100 pounds more than me walks by with her friends, looks at me, and says very loudly " She knows she is too big to be wearing that skirt"...They all got a good laugh...I went promptly to the bathroom and cried. That's how I dealt with it LOL...It hurt my feelings so much that someone who KNOWS what it is like to be obese would single me out like that. I know in retrospect it was most likely her own insecurities about her own body...But it's just one of those things I'll never forget. And I haven't worn a skirt since LOL.
Sorry this happened to you...It's a terrible feeling.
Last edited by sockmonkey70; 03-07-2008 at 07:59 PM.
Reason: sp
I actually had one of those experiences today. I work in a middle-high school as an aid and get along really well with most of the kids. A group of 10th/11th grade boys that I didn't know were sitting on benches in the loby today when I walked by. I had to go into the office which was right in front of them. As I opened the door I heard one of them whistle, I ignored it, but they did it again, so I turned and looked at them. When I did, they all started laughing and saying "yeah right." I peeked down the hall and there was no one else around. I was hurt more then anything and really wanted to yell at them. I have a hard time ignoring things like that, but I know I have to. I just think to myself how much better I look and feel then I did before.
I think you did the right thing because like you said, it wouldn't have made a difference to say anything. They are just ignorant and don't realize that their bodies will change as they get older and they may find themselves overweight. I would have probably done the same as you, well either that or cursed them out...lol. Depends on my mood for the day
I'm so sorry this happened to you However, I'm not entirely sure at 10-11 that they do know better, if they come from a household that acts that way... then thats their norm. Who is there to teach them better? I think you did the right thing by walking away. One comment from a stranger isn't going to change 10 years of experience. Is it right? Nope, definitely not. All you can do is teach tolerance and appropriate behavior to your own children and THAT makes the difference.
A comeback that comes to my mind when I hear about these situations is "obviously! Way to point out the obvious" Among other rude things.. its like people want a gold star for pointing out the obvious.
Well, they were two brats who clearly weren't raised with any manners. I'm sorry it happened, and you did the right thing by walking away.
I was teased constantly in elementary school. I wasn't overweight at all--in fact I was probably underweight--but I was not coordinated and wore glasses. I don't think one ever really gets past childhood teasing.
It just depends on my mood. Most of the time I don't say anything....why bother??? It's not like you are going to change their minds. Sometimes, I have responded with, "Thank you for caring about my health."
Walking away is probably the best thing, but I'm sure if you had scolded them for being rude, they would have shut up. Most people who are being nasty like that shut up when they are challenged.
I use a great line with adults, usually shocks them into shutting up. I give them an extremely sexy smile and move my body suggestively (not over the top just enough) and I say "Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it.." - Then I turn and let those curves work it as I walk away. I've done this in bars with drunk jerks, snotty girls out shopping, etc and it always makes me feel good.
And I guess that's the important thing - to keep feeling good!
Haha, wyoming, that's fabulous - especially because a lot of the ******* guys at bars feel the need to make comments because they DO think you're sexy and they're freaked out by it. Beautiful.
First- Those kids were little brats! I would have totally said something like " look sweetheart two monkeys right here in our neighborhood".. Of course In reality you can't say that to a 10 year old.
I had a guy just the other day come up to my car at the gas station and ask him for money, when I told him no and he kept comming I asked him not to touch my car...he replied with a slew of cus words and then said I "whatever you fat(bleep)".
I Inturned was so angry and hurt I responded " whatever you homless drunk". I am ashamed I would say that to anyone... I just couldn't control how I felt, when he called me the F word (fat)
I also had a similiar situation... I received horrible messages about beeing overweight, from ppl that I thought were my friends. I never found out the exact person but I knew it was from that group. I dont understand, when I have childreen I will make sure that they do not judge anyone or make fun of just because.
Haha, wyoming, that's fabulous - especially because a lot of the ******* guys at bars feel the need to make comments because they DO think you're sexy and they're freaked out by it. Beautiful.
I'm not going to go with the whole "they don't know any better" thing, because if they were old enough to be walking out on their own, they were old enough to know better.
Kids are stupid. Kids are VERY stupid. And they'll often say things to make themselves appear better or cooler to other stupid children. Now, mothers don't jump down my throat, because I was a stupid kid once, too. As were all of us.
I actually think you did the adult thing by ignoring them. Because I would have pointed back and said "Hey it's an ugly horse! Look at the ugly horse! How funny! What an ugly little girl you are! Hilarious!" But... then... again, I'm not very mature.
Hahahhaa. I probably would have done the same thing.
I may say something like, "I may be fat, but I am not rude!" Young children are brutally honest, and LOUD... they say what they think without any thought. Teens can just be fresh, maybe saying things under their breath, but knowing that you can hear them, or just staring ,or pointing and laughing...
The way I look at it... "it is what it is!". If I want to change how others see me, I have to do something about it. Thank God that I have learned that beauty is only skin deep, and that there is so much more to people. I am also thankful that my children are sensative to these things,and that I am secure enough in myself not to let these remarks bother me.
Have a great day, everyone! We all need to look at our own biases. Hopefully these experiences will make us more sensative to them. Bethz
However, I'm not entirely sure at 10-11 that they do know better, if they come from a household that acts that way... then thats their norm. Who is there to teach them better? I think you did the right thing by walking away. One comment from a stranger isn't going to change 10 years of experience. Is it right? Nope, definitely not. All you can do is teach tolerance and appropriate behavior to your own children and THAT makes the difference. 
