The feeling of I am REALLY going to do it this time no matter what.....once you get that feeling and you start on a health eating plan and exercise plan...then....something causes you to go off plan....like that hot buttered bread or that cake somebody offers you.....and you give in to the desire and eat it then end up going on a binge and have to pick yourself up to start again. So, the cycles begin...over and over and over. Success followed by failure again and again. How do you stop yourself from that temptation? All the ones in this forum who have lost tons of weight.....do you mean to tell me you NEVER HAD THAT FIRST MOMENT OF TEMPTATION? And..if you did...HOW did you refuse it....HOW did you walk away from it and not want it?

I can't answer that question. But i REALLY would like to know the answer!

I posted a reply in your other thread but I believe part of it is finding a weight loss goal that you want more than any treat anyone could ever offer you. I think a lot of failed weight loss plans occur because of lack of vision. I myself am guilty of it as well because I lose weight, lose motivation and then need to find something else to remotivate me.

The first post I read here over a month ago has kept me on plan EVERY DAY and ten-thousand times a day... After I read it I knew I'd found the right place for support for my journey.

Some generous and brilliant woman posted (forgive me as I will not be able to quote it perfectly, but it goes something like this): When you begin to feel deprived because you cannot have that (fill in the blank for you, for me it's Long John Silvers and butter!) remember that by eating (fill in the blank again) you are depriving yourself of the healthy life you deserve.

I do not deserve Long John Silvers (or butter) and all the misery that comes with it; what I DO deserve is a healthy life. A life that is long enough to grow old with my husband and to see my children have their own children, and so on.

That single post has kept me on plan and continues to motivate me many more times a day that I care to admit. I wish for you the same peace.

I've just finished three amazing books you may wish to also check out: Martha Beck's The Four-Day Win, Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch and lastly, Runaway Eating by Cynthia Bulik and Nadine Taylor. I get it now...

I also don't miss a day taking my multi-vitamin (it is timed release to help maintain blood sugar to ward off cravings) and it's at GNC, called Women's Mega Ultra. I also take 1 tablespoon of flaxseed oil (in juice) - Google flaxseed oil to see if it's also right for you. I have more energy than ever now and my nails are shooting out of the ends of my fingers. My hair is thicker now than it was in the 4th grade and I feel great.

I allow myself 1 Dove promises dark chocolate when I feel the need for something sweet - It satisfies my desire for chocolate and helps lower my blood pressure (research benefits of dark chocolate). I also drink 8-10 glasses of water each day with lemon added for flavor. I'm one of those sad souls that cannot tolerate artificial sweeteners, so no diet drinks or sugar-free treats for me (unless I'm in the mood for a major migraine).

These things are working for me and I hope they might also work for you.

Remember, bottom line, you are worth whatever it takes to have the healthiest life possible. Never forget that you are also someone's goal weight!

Best to you,

Janet

Well, I'm not one that's lost a ton of weight... I'm down about 45 pounds and still have more than that to go, but I did have a couple of thoughts when I was reading your post.

There are a couple things that I've done to lessen the temptations...

First, I just don't have any off-program food in the house. If I'm home and have a weak moment, what I have here to binge on is stuff that's on program.

Second, I plan all of my meals a day ahead of time. I don't ever make decisions about what I'm going to eat when I'm hungry... the decision has already been made. If I'm going someplace where I know there aren't healthy options, I'll pack my food and bring it with me.

I also finally found the best weight loss program for me. It's going to be different from person to person... I'm doing SB and it's something I feel like I can live with the rest of my life... I don't feel deprived... I'm not hungry... My cravings are gone along with the blood sugar highs and lows I suffered from prior to starting this WOE (I'm insulin resistant and that was a big problem). I just generally feel good... I believe finding something you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life is key.

I haven't cut some of those off-program foods that I love completely out of my diet. The difference is... I plan for the "treat", eat it without guilt and then get immediately back on program. I don't eat those foods every day, or even once a week... It makes it easier for me to know that I don't have to go without Swedish Pancakes for the rest of my life.

I've struggled for years going through exactly what you are expressing, so I understand exactly how you are feeling and it's very frustrating. All I can say is keep plugging away at it... You can do it!

I've had a problem with binging and I have learned my triggers. Exhaustion and stress and the feeling that I deserve to stuff my face, typically.

The first time I made a decision to break my habit and say no to a binge was really hard. I prepared food that had similar taste and mouth feel, but that I knew had fewer calories. I ate enough that I was full, but not sick.

It was really hard to not have that binge.

It gets easier. I think the first time, or the first few times, one says no is the most difficult. But then one sees that the world keeps going round, all the food does not vanish off the planet, and that self-control is a possibility.

One suggestion I have for you is to reframe your words and thoughts so that you are in charge. Instead of saying "someone offered me" this or that so I ate it, maybe rephrase it to say "I chose to eat the cake." You are the only one who can grasp control of what you eat and what you do. I don't know if that makes sense, but I do believe that our self-talk has a huge impact on our ability to make healthy choices. Instead of "I can't" say "I can." If you pass up hot buttered bread today, it will still be there tomorrow. And the next day. And in 2012 and in 2034. Saying no today does not mean saying no forever. But what saying no today will give you is a taste of self-responsibility and self-determination. You are in charge of your future. No one else. No one else can do it for you.

Practice saying "no thank you." Practice in in front of the mirror and the next time someone offers you something that will push you into a binge cycle, say no. No matter if every cell in your body is screaming at you to say yes. Say no. You can do it.

WOW!!! You all have written some very powerful statements for motivation!! It's time to get out the marker and index cards and start making some motivational stick up cards (I'll put on refrigerator).

WIllpower comes and goes. Just when you need it, it GOES! I have found that what works for me is not relying on it. I have other things to rely on, instead.

It works like this:

*I don't keep binge-worthy foods in the house.
*Long ago I read the advice to never eat anyplace that has a drive-through. For some reason this idea worked for me, so I'm not tempted by fast food.
*I ALWAYS have 'my' foods available. I keep a whole grain/rice mix prepared at all times. I always have baked or grilled chicken in the fridge. When I get home from the grocery store I put the fruit cups (in juice, not syrup--having good options around starts at the grocery store!) in the fridge because I like them cold. Every 2 days I make a bowl of protein pudding (protein powder, skim milk, fat free sugar free instant Jello pudding) so that I have breakfast for 2 days already prepared.
*If I find myself in a situation where I'm going to be offered something that's not on my plan, I get myself OUT OF THERE. FAST. If I can't leave, I find something to put in my hands and I tell myself not to put it down. Water bottle, my purse, pictures, notes, whatever--SOMETHING to have in my hands.
*I keep telling myself two things: one, the quote in my signature. Two, this is not the last time cake/donuts/ice cream/whatever is going to be available. It's not like every single cake recipe in the world is going to be destroyed and all the bakers are going to be killed after this. There will be other cakes, at times that are more appropriate for me and my plans.

I've read several of your posts, and it really sounds like something else is going on. Have you tried at all to address WHY you eat, not just WHAT you eat? Have you found some assistance in working with why something that is obviously hurting you is still the solution you turn to? I would suggest finding some help. It sounds like food/eating are the symptom, and not the disease.

If there absolutely has to be off-plan food in the house, I make whoever bought it hide it so that I have no idea where it is.

When I'm angry or upset or feeling a binge coming on, I force myself to exercise, no matter how tired I am. It gets my mind into this sort of free-fall mode, and by the time I'm done, whatever I was feeling is usually gone or at least decreased to a tolerable level.

I also talk out loud to myself a lot. "You know you don't need to eat that, Sara" or "Stop whining and put on your running shoes, Sara". I find that saying it out loud reinforces the will power I have.

I very much agree with Nelie that we often need to reevaluate what we are looking for out of a program. I also think that you have to have a program you can live with for the rest of your life, otherwise you're going to feel deprived and hungry and just give up.

I also responded in your other thread, but thought I'd chime in here.

Of COURSE everyone has faced temptation, even those who have lost a ton of weight, and we have ALL given in at one point or another. We are human! And sometimes, factors all collide and you find it hard to make a good decision about a food. It happens.

I really like Elie Krieger's perspective on food choices (she hosts the "Healthy Appetite" show on the Food Network). She categorizes foods into "Usually", "Sometimes", and "Rarely". Then she eats them according to those categories. Usually foods are whole grains, fresh produce, and lean meats. Sometimes foods might include heavier cuts of meat like a steak, white potatoes, etc. Rarely foods are things like cake, muffins, croissants, or salty treats. Note that there IS no "Never" category. On rare occasions, you have your "rarely" foods. And then you go straight back to plan, with no guilt over having eaten whatever it was, because you do it RARELY. Then you don't have another "Rarely" food for two weeks or so, and when you eat it then, you go right back to plan afterward, filling up your menu with "usually" foods.

So if you choose to eat something that falls into the category of "rarely", you enjoy it, savor it, and hop right back onto your normal planned eating. One piece of cake is not going to make a difference, long term, in your weight loss. A binge triggered by eating a piece of cake, subsequent guilt over eating the cake, etc. CAN make a big difference. I find it is easier to step right back to plan if you PLAN to eat the "rarely" food, rather than eat it without thinking. If I say to myself "Deb is having a baby shower today, I bet there will be cake and gosh, I'd love to have a small piece...I'm going to replace my afternoon snack with that cake", it is very easy for me to do exactly as I've planned. If I go to the shower, see the cake, and eat it without thinking, its harder for me to get back onto plan.

Best of luck to you.

My strategy has been a bit unique and I will be the first to admit it will not work for everyone, but it has been a lifesaver for me. I haven't gone off plan in 170 days, and in that time period I have lost 65 pounds. I just eat the EXACT same thing every single day. There are no choices involved, no planning necessary, I don't even have to think about food period as there is absolutely no question what I will be having for breakfast or lunch or snack or whatever. The exact same thing for the last 170 days, and that will continue for the foreseeable future as I have never been successful with weightloss until now. This "plan" certainly wouldn't satisfy someone who lives for variety, but it has been ideal for me, someone who doesn't really make good choices and eats compulsively when left to my own devices. Good luck!

There has been a lot of good advice so far! I also keep my house clear of anything I would go over board on. I count calories, so there are no off plan foods. I try to make the most for my calorie budget though, so that I always feel full and satified. I think the biggest thing I say to myself when faced with big temptation is "not today" Not NO! Just Not today. Ex: Over holloween weekend we went to a big family party. My Mom made my FAVORITE suasage roll ups! I love those things, but they are a HUGE calorie buster! I told myself not today, wait till Christmas Eve, she will make them again and I can have them then on my "Free day"! It worked, I walked away.

I know for me, the biggest mistake I was making, was eating what I want when I wanted it! I can't do that! It makes me 233 lbs! It doesn't mean I can't ever eat "xyz" again, just not all the time every day! Now every couple weeks to a month I have a meal or dessert and not think about the calories in it, just enjoy it and go right back to eating good food. That way I never have to say no. No will power needed, just patience to wait for the right day. Good luck! Jelly

I used to believe in willpower and wonder why other people had it and I didn't. After a long time beating myself and hating myself for being weak, I finally forgave myself and realized that life is messy, unpredictable and our culture revolves around food (food is love, celebration, comfort). I try to plan as much as humanly possible (keep the house completely junk free, plan all my meals a week in advance, etc) but I realize that occasionally offplan eating will happen.

The trick for me, is to realize that 1 offplan meal did not make me heavy. Now, I try to eat about 90% onplan and make really good choices as much as possible. If I eat something offplan (cheese and crackers at a lunch function, a piece of cake at a baby shower), I get RIGHT BACK ON PLAN. I do look at what happened and try to learn from it (why did I eat it, was I hungry, bored, fitting in with a crowd) but I don't beat myself up.

Well, I haven't seen the other thread everyone seems to be talking about - yet. So, I'll just answer this one.

Ummm, you resist temptation, most of the time that is, by deciding once and for all that you want to lose the weight - NO MATTER WHAT. That nothing else is as important as getting to be healthy, fit and active and NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING will stand in your way. The food is no longer that important. You also must want to lose weight badly ENOUGH. It's a decision that you make and often you need to make it again and again. It's a commitment. We make commitments all the time to other people for various things, social engagments, caring for an ill friend or baby sitting their child, dentist appointments and what not. We wouldn't break those commitments, why would we break the ones to ourselves? Of course it took me years to get to that realization.

I also have found foods that I love. My on plan food is so good, that there's rarely reason to go OFF plan. I eat often, am hardly ever hungry.

Once you get into this new lifestyle and you start losing the weight, and feeling better and looking better and your clothing size drops, you will be waaaay less tempted. All those things will propel you to keep going and stick with it. What once tempted you, will no longer be quite so tempting. Your tastes change, your needs change.

The first 2 weeks of my journey were quite difficult, but I stuck with it (that's where the commitment comes into play), I rode out those cravingsand urges, because I made the decision to not be fat any more. Once those 2 weeks passed, it really got considerably easier. Hang tough. You CAN do this. You just have to want it badly enough. But you CAN do it. You won't regret it for one single second. Good luck.